FEELING FAT and heavy and FAT

[Delightful soul 0]

Hi guys,

this is taking alot to reveal on here but I would appreciate your prayers........

when I was 3 my aunt yelled at me "you're FAT"

this was in reply to my saying I am "chubby" with a cute 3 year coy smile on my face......

I've had therapy about this, but in all honesty I am 35 and for the past 32 years I have constantly battled with weight issues......

My folks have always told me off and whenever I do anything or go out or come home (for the past year I am back living with folks....yes I know ......lol)they always have a comment to make about my weight......

for years I have had a good self image, but living back with them, my confidence has been affected, but also I have put on quite alot of weight due to medication that i needed to take a few years back.

Thing is, when i was 60 kilos i used to feel fat (this is really slim to all you USA people who use pounds ) i used to grab my legs and think i was fat.....i look back to those days and cannot believe i thought i was fat when now i am really overweight .......

thing is I have struggled I know cause of curses people and family have spoken over me, also I used to do alot of emotional eating, but whether it be emotional, or meds or what, I never seem to be good enough or thin enough.........

I am writing this here cause I really do want to be HEALTHY ..i have learned to love myself no matter what weight I am because it is who I am in my heart that counts, but since I got sick and put on weight from the meds, I am so tired and puffed out and cause of my folks concern and careless words, I feel really FATTTTTTT......


My ex boyfriend used to flirt alot and this used to make me feel fat and undesireable.....

Next year I am training in massage therapy and I really want to practice what I preach and feel to lose those kilos to be more energetic and healthy.........

I am so desperate but feel that it is soooo hard to discipline myself. My friends eat out with me and I get tempted to break my healthy eating plans and so am thinking of going to JEnny Craig but it is so expensive.........

I really want help and financial help as it really costs to eat and buy healthy food these days..........all the diets out there have sooo many different expensive recipes i lose heart before i even start!!!

What can I do???????????I'm so upset over this issue and know God is saying get healthy but feel my folks words and fat comments sabotage me in a way if that makes sense.........


Please someone .....HELP........

[Cholette 0]

First of all DS...

You REALLY need to study about who you are. In this world, a lot of emphasis has been placed on the physical...it's all around us, but that is not WHO YOU ARE. When you figure out who you are in CHrist, it will begin to show on the outside...and that's not about a physical size, it's about His glory.

You are overweight because of medicine. What we should be praying for is your healing so you can be delivered from whatever it is that is causing you to take the medication. You are NOT overweight because of curses people have put over you. That is a lie from the pit of hell. No one can curse what God has already declared to be blessed. The Bible clearly states that NO WEAPON formed against you can or will prosper. They can speak all they want, but it won't prosper.

Naturally, if you want a good eating program, Weight Watchers is the best. My friend, who was 150 lbs overweight started in January of this year and she has already lost over 80 lbs. She goes out with us and eats...she eats whatever she wants, but she knows how to figure her portion sizes...and that's all it teaches. I think she pays $12/week or something like that and she really enjoys it. I know that Weight Watchers is all over the place so you may be able to find one where you are. You don't have to buy special food...just foods that you normally buy and eat in smaller portions.

No matter what type of eating program you go on, it won't do any good until you find out that you are precious just the way you are. Yes, the weight will come off, but after a while, you will go right back to feeling inadequate. Your esteem should NOT be based on how you look because that changes over the years. It should be in who you are because who you are is how God created you and that never changes.

Blessings to you!

[dreamster 0]

kerep away from feesh an cheeps sweety, D

[Delightful soul 0]

oh dstr you are a kidder!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Cholette your words meant alot...........i have learned over the years to like who I am but living back with the folks has been hard as they constantly tell me I am over weight, i told them that even when I was 60kilos they thought I was never good enough, skinny enough........anyhow you are right, if I don't learn to love myself for who I am then no matter how much i lose it will never be enough.

I have had come to places in my life where I look in the mirror and see who i am as a beautiful daughter in Christ but living back here, i look in the mirror and see imperfections here.....strange i think.......

anyhow I do believe there can be curses put on people that only the name of Jesus can break as I have been delivered of them big time but we can agree to disagree, you are right in that i believe too that I am blessed and that no weapon formed against me shall prosper......but sometimes people can say things and it is like an arrow to the heart.......it hurts

anyhow thankyou for all your words and yes we do have a weight watchers, i have been before and found it hard....it was the portion thing, so maybe i need to go back and persevere.....

thankyou for your prayers and words of wisdom and encouragement.....all was accepted well.......please continue to pray!!

[Cholette 0]

Delightful soul wrote:

anyhow I do believe there can be curses put on people that only the name of Jesus can break as I have been delivered of them big time but we can agree to disagree, you are right in that i believe too that I am blessed and that no weapon formed against me shall prosper......but sometimes people can say things and it is like an arrow to the heart.......it hurts

By no means am I saying that the words DO NOT hurt, what I'm saying is that the words that others speak don't make you overweight. WHen we believe them and come into agreement with them is when it works. When we KNOW who we are and have come into agreement with what GOD has said, then we will become more like He has created us to be. Jesus already broke the curse...that's why he went to the cross...it's all a finished work.

I have a mother who speaks HORRIBLE things about me. I've been chubby and I've been underweight...it doesn't matter, she just loves to downgrade me. It took an overdose of God's word to be able to look her in the face and realize that it's her own insecurities that has caused her to be so condescending to me. I can now look at her and feel sorry for her because she needs to know who SHE is. The more and more I realized who I was, the less and less she said things to me. It's funny how that works, but we have to know who's behind the word attacks...satan. He tries to break us and what better way to do it is to do it through people we love and respect.

The mirror you should be focused on is the mirror of God's Word.

And all of us, as with unveiled face, [because we] continued to behold [in the Word of God] as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another; [for this comes] from the Lord [Who is] the Spirit. (2 Cor 3:18 - AMP)

Be blessed!!

[Hiskid 0]

Praying for you to prosper and be in health!
We are our worst critics !
If you can swim or do exercise in the water it is wondeful and gentle but a healthy diet can make you feel better too
I recommend reading Dr Don Colbert a Christian dr who is very natural-oriented less processed food the better. I try to only eat healthy food including organic cookies I dont miss the junk food and have less tummy trouble since i changed my diet.
I do eat chocolate when i want to though !
Blessings to you! You are a beautiul child of God!

[Delightful soul 0]

thanks Hiskid, yes i actually have the Don Colbert book in my library......i think above all else i need to put up boundaries around my life for eating and exercise........i have a gym member ship and joined back in october of last year, i have injured myself every month since i have been going and it has been hard........i feel to join something like ww where i am accountable........Don is good too but I don't have loads of money to spend on health food so at the moment I just want to get the kilos off and feel better.....and also eat good foods that aren't so expensive..........anyhow enough of my whinging, i shall get proactive about this........i just wanted to thankyou all Cholette and His kid (maybe Dstr too :P) as I would really love your prayers on the whole self image thing and also just to be healthy in my attitude and in the physical....i just feel a real call to be healthy .....

[Deborah 0]

DS,
First I want to say I admire you for being so transparent about a very personal and painful issue.

Years ago I woke up with this verse on my mind, I didn't know where it was at the time, it took some searching to find it but it's this:
Isaiah 55:2
"Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and let your soul delight itself in abundance." (See your name in there?)

You already likely know what "is good," and if you don't, the Holy Spirit will tell you. In my own life, when I'm eating fruits vegetables and some meat but stay away from white flour and sugar, I feel much, much better. I've recently found I'm allergic to wheat--everytime I eat it (white, whole wheat, it doesn't matter) I become very tired.

The Proverbs 31 lady does strength training (verse 17 says she girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms). If you put on muscle, the muscle will help burn your fat, even when you're sleeping.

So I pray for you now. Father God, thank you for making Delightful Soul. Even in her mother's womb, she was fearfully and wonderfully made. Because she has received You, You have given her the right to be called Your daughter. So I pray You'll train her eyes to see herself as You see her, that You'll train her to cast down all thoughts that are trying to tell her she is not beautiful and accepted, and You'll teach her to eat what is good so her soul can delight itself in abundance. Thank you for all her gifts and for the great blessing she is to the body of Christ. Amen

[dreamster 0]

im trainin 2 be a diplomat,, D

[Delightful soul 0]

you haven't got the tact dtsr........for diplomacy that is......

thankyou Deborah for what you said it really means alot to me, I have just joined ww today and really was surprised at the positive people (I'm a bit of a cynic at times) but it was nice to see.........

I really want to do this and be accountable........I get what everyone is saying here, but if someone has an alcohol problem they can stay away from alcohol, but if someone has a food issue they still have to eat, it is just a matter of eating healthy........i have weaknesses in the area of portion control and also choosing healthy options......i'm praying that all here would pray and thankyou for your prayers already.......I know God loves me, but overeating is a real issue in the church especially.......I don't know how to tell you how challenging it is to go to church functions and there are hardley any healthy options....also eating out, the portion sizes are so huge they are for gluttons really........I know this sounds like I am focussing on the food stuff but really noone in church seems to address the 'sin of gluttony' and also I think that I need serious help, I have had chest pains and all sorts of health issues since putting on the weight and it is overwhelming at times........I want BALANCE......

I have a really good self image in that God has worked on my confidence in Him and also to see myself as beautiful in my eyes and I am growing in this every day......but the facts are obesity is something I am struggling with and overeating and also not eating enough healthy foods and learing to say 'no'........I am not condeming myself here but rather judgeing myself lest i be judged.......I see this as a time for me to be honest and ask for some real help here.........

when I was doing karate I trained so hard i got a six pack.seriously.....this was many years ago but I had to work hard to achieve the results........i got out of karate cause alot of it was works....but thing is I know God has called me to be a leader here and He is saying,there are health issues to be looking at here.......I want to live long and prosper (no I am not a treckkie ) but you know what I mean?

Thanks for all your lovely words I have received them and no that you all care alot about me and I want to thankyou from the bottom of my heart , cause yes, it was alot to post this sensitive stuff for me up here.......

blessings

[Deborah 0]

Good for you, DS!!!!!And yes, the church needs to wake up and quit making gluttony acceptable while shaking fingers of condemnation at drug addicts, smokers and alcoholics. I thought it was pretty neat your name was in a verse I felt led to share with you. I didn't notice your name in it until I had typed it!!!!

[dreamster 0]

im sharp as a tak,,

[Delightful soul 0]

not tak dtsr taCT!.......but I'll pay you that one, very funny

Thanks Deborah, yes I forgot to mention I thought that was cool that biblical reference.......

Funny even after writing what I wrote, people's prayers are being answered.....i heard a song on the radio with a guy singing "i love you just the way you are" and I knew it was Jesus saying He loves me just the way I am.............has anyone ever experienced that? Hearing the Holy spirit singing through songs on the radio????


So cool........thanks Deborah for your prayers and to everyone on here.......

[Deborah 0]

DS!!!!I've been trying and trying to respond but either the electricity goes out here or I have connection problems.....Yes! One time especially I heard the Holy Spirit singing me a song on the radio. It greatly ministered to me and I tried and tried to find who sang it and what the name of the song was, but never could. It was like it was just for me, just for that moment, but I'll never forget how it made me feel. I'm glad you're getting more and more victory in your life!

[Delightful soul 0]

here's the song i heard by Bruno Mars - cute song

[Cholette 0]

I love it when God speaks through songs on the radio. That song you mentioned DS is the same song that Mia posted somewhere on the site. God allowed her to hear it at the right time as well.

The song that God caused me to hear once was "oooh Child, things are gonna get easier". I forgot who sings it because I've heard several people sing it, but I heard the original person. I cried my eyes out because I was going through a ROUGH time. God will use ANYTHING...ANYONE..ANYBODY to get his Word to us. Remember Balaam heard from a donkey, in the Bible.

[Delightful soul 0]

is this the one? The five Stairsteps i think they are called.......

thanks for that Cholette.......it made my day.........God is everywhere, even in the bottom of a Donkey.........that sounded badddddddddd........

[Delightful soul 0]

Update: I have been going to WW for a week and already lost nearly 2 kilos (nearly 4 pounds) I am really happy cause I really have not missed out on much and have a variety of foods to eat....thanks Guys for all your prayers, I have really felt them, truly!

[Deborah 0]

[Delightful soul 0]

thanks Deborah!

[Hiskid 0]

Yay!!!

[True Flight 0]

When I read that, God said "I love you" meaning you.
But it had emotion attached.
He loves you very much and is not so concerned with you wait. I felt a tear.
He just wants to Love You.
Its hard to explain, its that perfect love that eludes us.

[Cholette 0]

Ohhhhh girly!!!! Praise the Lord!! I'm telling you, my friend is enjoying herself. She can go out with us and still eat what she wants. She is doing FANTASTIC, as I know you will!

[Delightful soul 0]

awww tanks Trueflight!!! I know what you mean, he's been saying "i love you" and I 've been hearing that emotion.

Thanks also Cholette! I have been eating more on WW then when I was off and losing weight! I truly want to be healthy. I know I don't need to lose weight in order to b e loved but last year i started getting fluid retention in my ankles and had to shop for larger shoes!! I have been going red in the face alot and also a few weeks ago I had really bad chest pains whilst at the gym. I got tested and they all came back clear, but it got me thinkin, If I want to live long and healthy i need to be eating good food and living healthier. It shook me up a bit.

[Delightful soul 0]

Just wanted to thank everyone for encouraging me.

So far since this feeling fat all happened, I took some action and went to WW.

So far have lost 4.9 kilos (nearly 10 pounds) and am starting to notice clothes are loose on me.

Also too, I have been able to be an influence on others as there are many women who go to these things feeling fat, ugly and more fat. Like I used to..and thing is, no matter how much weight I lose, I still have days where I have to remember who I am in Christ and to realise that He loves me no matter what size I am. But truthfully am feeling alot healthier in my body and lighter haha.

Blessings everyone for being there for me on this site, I love ya heaps!