TV watching etc.

[hind'sfeet 1]

There are things that Yahweh has been convicting me of but right now it has come to the point where I want to be free. Now that I think of it, He convicts me of stuff for a while and it seems to prepare me to let go of it in the future. Is that the experience of anyone else?

I have to make a list of the things I want out of my life:

the idol of TV and entertainment (I don't want another idol taking it's place ie. instead of tv watching it would be book reading). Most of the stuff I watch are the learning channels, not one for day time tv... I do have SOME series shows that I like but not as much as the Discovery channel etc.
I do watch some Christian preaching and some stuff about Israel/archaeology. I know that God wants me to learn.
What I want is to want Yah more than tv and learning stuff. What I don't understand is how I can bring Yah into my insatiable desire to learn. It's not like I don't thank God for the cool stuff that I'm watching or pray for the people I see on tv that need justice or need God (I don't always pray for people though).

Other things that God has brought up to me:

Pride and arrogance (I really really hate it and am always finding this in me. I don't want to be separated from God because of it. I hate it.)

laziness (He's been helping me with this, but I need to get rid of my idols...)

disrespect

vengefulness

unforgiveness

sinning in anger ( I can't tell the difference between anger and hate sometimes... I don't want to have any hate.)
I really want to see people as Yeshua sees them. I can't though. I can't seem to separate the wrong that people do from the person. I've been praying for Him to let me see people how He sees them so that I won't develop any hate or sin in anger).
I say stuff all the time in anger. Even if I'm not angry, I am often brusque with my son and husband for various reasons. I don't feel sweet inside, most of the time (I wonder if sweet people feel sweet inside).

Jealousy, He's been working on that in me for a long time now, but I want it GONE. I want what HE wants for me, to concentrate on that instead of other people. There are some things I don't get jealous of much anymore like things/stuff.

gossiping, I hate it. I want to be free of it. Apparently I don't know what all is considered gossip.

not putting Yahweh first, I feel this is part of laziness...

I can't think of anything else right now so, if you do think of something I haven't put on here, please pray for that


Please about this stuff for me. Thank you guys

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Hey HF

I understand completely. It goes like this:

Unforgiveness=Bitterness=resentment=vengence=hate=and the list goes on.

Someone told me once ( a good friend of mine-the Holy Spirit) just forgive them for today. Tomorrow we will forgive them again. Tomorrow again. Eventually what happens is we forgive them each day untill we completely forgive them. Don't forget that sometimes that can be US that we don't forgive. I thought I had not forgiven others but the Lord showed me it was myself I needed to forgive. See what I mean? Hang in girl you are on the right track. I am proud of you and so is the Father.

Love in Jesus

Dove

[KDRE 0]

First thing you have to remember is that, while you may not be able to devote your entire 24 hours to personal time with the Lord... you can honor him and set some consistent time for him everyday. I would say dont watch the tv then say ill pray later, or read after these two shows... do that stuff FIRST... Pray, read, worship, and all of those good things that open our relationship up with him.

Thank God for DVR's right? and Hulu, and netflix, etc... They can have their proper place in your time, just dont over do it.

The main thing is the more you spend time with him, the more you are less conformed to the world, the less you care, and the more you can change (through the word of God).

You have to remember, giving God extra time doesn't leave you at less of an advantage, its actually better for you. After all he is the way the truth and THE LIFE

Its a process of course, but again, the more time you spend with Jesus, the better off you are. Just as you wrote those things, you can take it to him in prayer the exact same way and he wont condemn you but show you how to change :)

Take a couple of days... one at a time, however it may be to fast as well for changes in your life... Fasting weakens the flesh and makes your spirit more alert and sensitive to him.

[dreamster 0]

grt replies an kndre,, um h/f i kno how u feel, i think the tv is a very minor issue,, i kno u want the fruit of tha holy spirit flowing outta u,, but its his fruit not urs i think perhaps thers a core issue inside u thats growing all these otha ugly fruit, ,, wen that goes so will the otha stuff, sum times i dont feel like a christian at all ,, but i keep bring mi junk 2 no matta how i feel,,hes the only autherised collecta in the universe, last nite i wasa awake afta a drm at 1am,, i prayed 4 lordy 2 enter the closed doors of mi heart,, ,,i felt him wivb me, ,, our father is the vinedresser he knows wat 2 prune off us,, D

[hind'sfeet 1]

Thank you guys

I love that Dove, I can only forgive for today, tomorrow will take care of itself. I forgive only when they come to mind? If I'm not thinking about them I guess I don't have anything at the moment that I need to forgive them for? Do I forgive myself for the stuff that I have to ask forgiveness for?

KDRE, I will ask God to help me with what you said. That's going to be really tough to do as the main thing I do to start every day. My aunt and uncle do that, every single morning. I have such a difficult time trying to keep any semblance of a routine, it would be a miracle!!

D, you've got a really good point!! My aunt has been doing this thing with me for a few years now, getting to the root of my feelings and it always goes to how I feel about God!!
Speaking of fruits of the Spirit... brought me right back to my apple tree dream!! I love that D, that Yeshua answered like that!

Thank you Father for inspiring my friends through your Holy Spirit, in the name of Yeshua, Amen

Ok, my friends please pray what D spoke about that Yah would reveal what the root is that is growing those ugly fruits. I want it to be healed, in the name of Yeshua AMEN!!

[hind'sfeet 1]

I failed to mention that I am abstaining from tv watching today and have been praying that God would remove the desire from my heart.

[Cholette 0]

With the list of things you have HF, be careful you are not trying to do it yourself. YOU can't change yourself...that's the work for the Holy Spirit. Whenever WE try to change ourselves, we will fail and that brings condemnation and before we know it, we are in a cycle going out of control.

I think someone already mentioned to put God first. I used to hate it when people told me I HAD TO read in the morning, but I must say, when I begin my day with Him, there was something else that took place inside of me. EIther there was something that caught my attention in the Word and it led me to go back to it during my lunch hour, or I would go over it in my heart and pray about it. Regardless what it was, it was me connecting with God throughout the day and He was able to continue the work in me that I desired for Him to do. It's His Word that is powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword. It does the work...not us!

God sees the things you desire changed, but let Him DRAW YOU! It's difficult to stay when you force yourself in. No one likes someone around them that really doesn't want to be there...if you know what I mean. Don't feel obligated...go because of the relationship you desire to have. I hope that makes sense.

[hind'sfeet 1]

Thank you Cholette, that is exactly what my apple dream was about, Awesome!!
I will try to do the morning prayer because I do want a closer relationship with God and for Him to free me of things.

[KDRE 0]

Its not so much of a routine as it is spending time with him

Those are the times he can refresh you, when you allow his presence to come to you personally and deal with you 1 on 1. Seek the Lord til he rains righteousness upon you as the bible says... Allow God to take you through the santification process... little by little each day we strive to be more like Christ, it takes time but work on it with God and he will work with you.

God is our creator and he knows how we are supposed to work.

The problem Adam had was he went and hid himself then tried to cover himself with fig leaves... but see he didnt need a fig leaf... he didnt know where to start to get things back in order. God has to show you and then he will help you....believe it or not, he's really pulling for you to make it! He did afterall shed his blood to make us free

Your feelings wont always agree with what he is trying to do when he begins to change you, but remember God is shaping you into what he wants you to be and he does a dilligent job. Its not always good to you but good for you so to speak but he wont overwhelm you... just be sure to remember your feelings arent always the best indicator of his personal care...because you wont always feel like its working for your good when in fact it is.

[dreamster 0]

hmmm well try seeing if thers beena issue of rejection by ur father,, that wood answer alotta questions,, sumtmes dads can be wivout knowin,, or werse ,, an damage ur ,,then u end up bein,, ,, Dr D,

[dreamster 0]

i was gonna say wat cholette said about tryin 2 change urself,, .. but that wasa huge post 4 me already,, ,,,,um dont stress swty,

[hind'sfeet 1]

KDRE, I really want that too!!!

I feel emotionally blank quite often.

D, yeah, there was a lot of rejection. My real dad left my mom when I was a toddler and it seemed that I forgot about him except for in pictures.
My mom remarried When I was a toddler... that man was abusive. My mom was already abusive when she would make me eat food.
He favoured his own daughter he had with my mom when I was 4 and then all the rest of the kids, over me.

[dreamster 0]

ugh,, u wood hava sense of abanddenment wen ur dad left,, im certain thats the begining of ur hurts,, then everything else wood be compounded on top of that,, u wood hava hard tme trustg god, becos of this,, ,,i think thers a scrip that talks about a wounded soul who can bare??,, um be4 u can go 4ward this all needs healing,, u will get ther,, D

[hind'sfeet 1]

I never considered that D.
I knew that I had a LOT of healing that needed to be done that goes back to my mom before she got married but never considered that my real dad was part of it.
Yeshua will have to do it. I don't know what He will bring up in regards to that.
Thank you for the encouragement D and everyone

[dreamster 0]

we r wiv u me,, an ur sistas,,,,

[Deborah 0]

I feel led to share this with you, HF, since you mentioned jealousy in your original post --it's by Lisa Howard Colpo:

Jealousy is an outgrowth of not realizing who you are and what you possess. It's born of fear that someone has a better life than yours, even though the people you envy are not without their own insecurities, pains and unrequited dreams and hopes. Focus on your accomplishments, not your failures. Count your blessings. Celebrate the life you've been given.

[hind'sfeet 1]

Amen D!!

Deborah, that's a real eye opener... I did fear that everyone had a better life than me when I was growing up!! Because I was abused and treated differently by my guardian, I wanted my real dad. When My real dad had a son I became seriously jealous of him because he had my dad. That's how I felt after all my siblings were born and even my cousins!! I was the first born of all my cousins and siblings.... So, my mom was MY mom and my aunts and uncles were MY aunts and uncles., my grandparents were MY grandparents... I even still get those feelings and I'm an adult! I don't feel that way so much any more about them because I love all of them now. But, I do in a sense that I feel like some of them are favoured by my grandparents over me...

[dreamster 0]

ur

[Deborah 0]

You said, talking about your siblings and cousins:
I feel like some of them are favoured by my grandparents over me...
I know this feeling! My mom always treated my one of my sisters better than me, in my opinion. As an adult I was complaining to the Lord about it, and He told me favor with Him was better than favor with my mother. This really helped me and put things into perspective.
All the hurts in my life I'm seeing in hindsight were really gifts from God--he trusted with those hurts, trusting I wouldn't turn my back on Him but instead allow Him to use those hurts to make me a better person.

[Dove-Solutions 0]

HF,

Yes everytime you think of them or remember that situation that caused your pain turn it over to Jesus. Just say Jesus I forgive that person today and turn over all feelings of pain to you. List the pain you feel and thank him for giving you a heart of love, joy and peace and thank him for keeping you obedient to the word of God.

Hope this helps,

Connie

[hind'sfeet 1]

Thank you Deborah and Connie!!

Deborah, I can see what you are talking about. I told Father today that I don't know what being a wanted daughter is like and asked Him to make that more real to me because it's easy to read in the Bible what He says I am, but that doesn't make it to be understood inside.

I just thought of "the grass is always greener on the other side" but I'm using this as that the side of the fence I'm on is dead grass.
I can understand how I would want God as my father more than people who have had good fathers. In that I can be grateful to Him. But I think it's easier for those who have had good father's to be more trusting towards Father Yah.

Connie, thank you for that prayer. I'm always needing insight into who I need to forgive and why. Thank you for speeding it up for me a little!! I often don't realize that I need to forgive my family for stuff like that. I don't know why it never occurs to me. I mean I forgive my parents and siblings and a cousin for being mean to me but other stuff doesn't isn't so obvious even though it should be because it stands out just as much as the meanness does.
I prayed your prayer and will try to remember that prayer so that I can pray it again. I just love that you said to list all the pain I feel, never done that before.

[Vickie 0]

Hind'sfeet,
Tell the Lord this ,I choose to forgive my dad for abandonment and rejection and anyone else that you need forgive.
Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a choice. That is why you say Lord I choose to forgive. If you feel you cannot at this time then ask the Lord to help you to forgive them. Sometimes the hurt is so embedded that the Lord has to healed the pain of it in order that you can choose to forgive. The word says that when we are weak He becomes strong in us, so ask for His help. Be careful not be be Holy Spirit for yourself, I did that and it brings alot of condemnation which is not from the Lord.
The Lord loves obedience so ask Him to help you and he is faithful to do that. I am praying for you.

[hind'sfeet 1]

Thank you Vickie!!

I have been experiencing what you said, it's confirmation to my heart.
I need the prayer you gave as mine needs some tweaking

[Vickie 0]

Lord I lift up Hindsfeet to you and I ask that you would surround her with your presence. Lord let her know that you have not forsaken her and that you love her so much. (If you are not a female I ask your forgiveness.) Lord embrace her with your acceptance and love. Your banner over her is love.

[hind'sfeet 1]

AMEN!!!

Thank you for that prayer Vickie, I need it and I am going to use this as my prayer for a friend is in great anxiety and distress.

[Vickie 0]

Hindsfeet,
Your name is so appropriate for you.He gives you hinds feet for high places. He is calling you upward towards Him.

[hind'sfeet 1]

AMEN!!!

Vickie (Victory) dance

[lola21st 2]

(plural)

[hind'sfeet 1]

Lola!!