My whole life I get my hopes up just to let them get shattered

[Sirianta 0]

Hey guys, I always try to stay possitive especially in my walk with Christ. Now something that happens constantly with me is that I get hope from God about stuff that I prayed for. A lot of times it looks as if God answered my prayer and I would get so excited about it that I would start crying and start telling people how great God is. I'll start to testify about the goodnes of God to my friends. But then it would turn out that my prayers wasn't really answered. It feels like I would get excited like a child too early. In the end I would feel like a fool, because my testimony to other people is empty.

To give you an example: I wrote an article to a christian magazine about how great our God is and situations where God answered a certain prayer of mine. I really felt that God wanted me to write this to give other people hope and tell them that they should always trust in God. I also had a feeling that my story would get published. I knew it was God's will. This was the first time I wrote an article for any magazine and it has been a passion of mine to write for a very long time. I LOVE writing!! And God knows this. Then I received an e-mail telling me that they are going to publish my story and they want my telephone number so that we can start arranging for photos. I was so excited!!!! And couldn't believe this! It was one of my biggest dreams that came true and which God answered. I was also glad because I knew this story would realy minister to a lot of woman. BUT it has been 3 weeks now and I haven't heard anything again. I did reply to their email (twice),but still nothing. This feels again like one of the many times before where I get my hopes up just to be dissapointed in the end. Why would this happen all the time? Each time it looks like a great testimony of how Almighty God is but in the end my testimony is empty, like a lie. What should I tell all my friends who will be waiting to read my story in that magazine. Maybe they're gonna think I was lying.

Why would God not let this come to be fullfilled if it is totally for His glorification and my hearts desire to help others who have been through the same issues as I went through? It doesn't make sense. I so much just want to minister to other people, but there is always something that shatters my dreams. Is it the enemy that wants to stop the work of God? But then again God is Almighty!

Has anyone experienced this in their life? I really want to stay possitive but sometimes it gets really tough.

Love in Christ
Sirianta

[dreams3 0]

praying for you. Just pray agains near miracle sydrome.

[kellsy2004 0]

''God is not man that He should lie.....''sometimes manifestations of God's promise takes awhile.Look at Abraham and the promise of Issac,it took several years before the promise came to past,and yet he held on.Since you're sure,hold on.Faith is believing even when you do not see.

I am there right now,just holding on to God's word inspite of contrary events all around me.Talk to God some more and hold on to His promise.

[John7 0]

Hi Sirianta

Thanks for your post! I really appreciate your honesty, and its good to hear that Im not the only one going through such things!

There has been many times where I got my hopes up about something only to be dissapointed with God, and I have to admit it really did hurt my faith, but then God would speak to me again, and keep me going forward despite not seeing a manifestation. I can not tell you the ammount of times where I've been dissapointed, I did have a promise from God some years ago, regarding ministry and my personal business and it was definitely from God. However since then its only been let down after let down, in fact I've gone from one tragedy to the next, I dont want to get the violin out and play the poor me tune, but since getting those promises from God things got so bad, I dont know how the hell I managed to keep living.

So here I stand, with two big promises from God about a successful personal business and fulfillment in a worthwhile ministry, and I stand here as an individual who's life has fallen apart, and who's faith looks foolish in the eyes of his family and friends. Sure I have faith, but even James said, "faith without works is dead." I don't have any tangible works to back up my faith at the moment, because my life has collapsed to such a level its beyond description. But as I sit here and write this in a life that is dead, with a romantic life thats dead, with a financial life thats is in bankruptcy, and with a body thats beyond sick and diseased, I can honestly tell you I have absolutely nothing at the moment, and am just like Lazarus in that tomb. I have been left for dead and most people think there is no hope for me.

Everyday I wake up in a life where there seems to be absolutely no hope. The doctors cannot help me, medicine makes my condition worse and my bones seems to be falling apart and twisting, I have no money in the bank and my mind is tormented on a regular basis from poison, that has been in my system for over 6months and wont get out.

I have every reason to just give up and curse God and die, and believe me I have sworn and cursed him many times in the past. But last year, God started speaking to me in dreams and telling me to hold on, because this year is going to be a better year. I had a dream that a giant poisonous cobra snake was in my house with sadistic fangs and poison dripping from its teeth, I then took a knife and I cut this thing to pieces, and then God told me that I was going to destroy all sickness from my Body by speaking the word of God. Its been over a month since that dream, and I havent seen any change in my health, but I still believe God because He is not a man that he should lie, nor the son of man that he should repent.

God has been speaking to me every week in ways I cannot even believe, he's been giving me dreams, and with confirmations the next day that have absolutely blown me away. God has given me sincere promises through dreams, and I know that I know that I know without any shadow of a doubt, that God has promised me Im going to be healed and prosper. Yet here I am with a life that is in ruins, and to others and even people in my family I look like a fool. But I'm not the others, I am me, and I am a child of God, and I walk by faith and not by sight. I know its only a matter of time before Jesus Christ says, "Lazarus come forth" and Im coming out of this situation in supernatural power for the glory of God.

Everything around me and the world tells me to give up, but Im not giving up on God, because Abraham was promised a child, and even though he had to wait for many years for his promise, God came through with his promise. "Though the vision tarry, wait for it, for it will speak and not lie."

This ministry has really been an encouragement to me, and helped me understand my dreams in an even deeper way that has been beyond my belief. God speaks through dreams just as he did to Abraham, Issaac, Jacob and so many others, we are His children and he loves us so much, and He would never lie to us. As I write this I literally have tears in my eyes, because I believe that God so loves His children and he will not let us down. All I can say to you Sirianta is that if God has told you, that your going to write a book and get an award for it, you keep writing and don't give up, maybe people will mock you beyond your back and discourage you, but they did that to Jesus when he was on the cross... but three days later, you know what happened....

Im speaking the word of God over my life, Im not seeing my health improve, but im not giving up, because I know Im going to see Gods promise as I continue to walk in faith. And I encourage you to do the same, just keep writing that book, keep writing those articles and keep seeking God for inspiration in writing, and I believe that your going to see your promise manifest as you continue to walk around the walls of Jericho in faith. You may seem like your going in circles, but eventually those walls are going to fall, and your going to walk into the land God has promised you and possess the land.

By faith Sarah herself also received strength to conceive seed, and she bore a child when she was past the age, because she judged Him faithful who had promised. (Hebrews 11:11)

He who promised is faithful, and though we may go through dissapointments, and though we keep walking around these walls of Jericho, and they dont seem to fall and we look like fools, "God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows he shall reap... let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:7,9)

I really believe God led me to this community forum and ministry, it has blessed me beyond comprehension and the Holy Spirit talks to me through people on this forum everyday. I really believe everyone on this forum is linked in the spirit, and its no coincidence that we are on here, I believe we are all facing battles as we all head into our own personal promised lands together. We may all have different promises from God, but I believe we're all going through our struggles and challenges together.

I believe its only going to be a matter of time, before I post in the dream manifestation section, that I've come into divine health and Gods promise came to pass. And I believe that its only going to be a matter of time, before you start sharing on this forum, that you've finished your book and people all over are getting blessed by it. God is not a man that he should lie. He who promised is faithful. Faithful is He who called you, who also will do it. Yes we're going to have battles, challenges, dissapointments, betrayals, let downs, persecution, but we are going to get there, and we're going to enter that promised land thats flowing with milk and honey!

Lets all believe together, that "faithful is he who called us who ALSO WILL DO IT!!!!!!" (1Thess 5:24)

[James Gerald 0]

HE TELLS me JOHN WELL WRITTEN FULL OF TRUTH,LOVE,& FAITH!
HE SAY'S HEAR ME JOHN I'VE CALLED TO YOU!
YOU ARE MINE JOHN HE SAY'S TO me!
EYES' focused on our GLORIOUS GRACIOUS FATHER JOHN, GOD BLESS YOU JOHN, GOD BLESS YOU.
HE SAY'S PATIENCE JOHN, PATIENCE!

Just rember what happened in day's past, when they said where is your GOD now. AMEN!AMEN!AMEN!


John HE is never early, and HE is never late, alway's on TIME, ALWAY'S ON TIME!

[Deborah 0]

Sirianta and John,
Thank you so much for sharing from your hearts. Please don't ever give up on your dreams.

I have a biological brother who had leukemia, who lived through bankrupcy and divorce, who had mental disorders--Larry died a few years back, but I KNOW when he got to heaven he received a hero's welcome. Larry never had success as the world defines it, but his optimism and his faith lives on in my heart and the hearts of all who loved him.

At Larry's funeral, I couldn't help compare Larry with someone else in my family who has outward trappings of success. This other person is a mechanical engineer, he's got a new home and a beautiful family, but he's one of the most miserable people I know. In my eyes, Larry was immensely more successful then that other person.

I too am a writer, Sirianta. Believe me, I know the endless frustrations of the craft. John is right; you just need to keep persevering. (Time to preach to myself now.)

The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything. - Theodore Roosevelt

[Sirianta 0]

WOW!!!!!!!!! I have been sooooo blessed by all of your replies! I thank God for this ministry! It is great to come hear and be inspired by all the children of God! Thank you all and thank you Jesus!

John, I was so blessed by your reply that I started crying when I thought of you. You are such a wonderful person. The love of Jesus really shines through you! I'm also blessed each time when I read one of your posts because every time you speak with such wisdom! God has really blessed you with a beautiful soul.

I was so blessed and moved by you that I asked God if it is His will that He would use me to be a blessing to you by maybe giving me a dream about you to encourage you. God answered my prayer and this is what I dreamt:

I saw a man who was sitting in a chair with plasters over his eyes. Then I heard the words "I once was blind but now I see". That was it. I woke up right after that and got a vision of eyes without any plasters!!! I knew these words was from the song Amazing grace. I hope this speaks to your heart. And I just want to thank God for this dream!! We serve an amazing God!!

John, again thank you so much for this very blessed words! You don't know how much you've blessed me!

Love in Christ
Sirianta

[Sirianta 0]

Oh just another thing!! After I posted my self pity topic (lol!) I received this on my Facebook wall: "the enemy has a plan to reduce and humiliate you. Repeated rejection and dissapointments have a way of wearing down your confidence and initiative untill you lack both the will to change and the faith to believe that you are Amazing!! You are a child of the King! So put on your Big boy pants and suck it up Cupcake"

This was amazing! It was by a pastor in America some where whom I don't know. I loved it!

Xxx

[John7 0]

Thanks for your encouragement Sirianta. I really appreciate you sharing that dream and I do believe its from God. I think your dream shows that in the last 6 months, God has really opened my eyes in the spirit realm through dreams, and He has shown me the truth. He has shown me that is my provider, my healer and with Him nothing is impossible. I have seen the vision and I know the truth, now I just need to wait on God. And I guess many of us are waiting on God together, its not always easy, but his timing is perfect.

Thanks for sharing the message you got on facebook! I think thats a word for me too! I have had repeated dissapointments and humiliations too! One after the other like a domino effect, well now I know after reading your message that the devil is a liar! The word I got from a Minister God connected me with last week, was that "Victory is on the horizon". I believe these futile attacks of the devil are a last minute tantrum, before we are taken into full victory and totally overcome in Jesus amen. VICTORY IS ON THE HORIZON. We really are all the body of Christ and we are in this together, no matter what our circumstances, and I really believe we're all going to come out on the other side together too. Im looking forward to hearing all the amazing testimonies in this online community.

God bless. And Im praying for your family and husband, that God will really work in their lives and speak to them through the gifts of the Holy Spirit supernaturally, and through other Christians aswell.

With God nothing is impossible. Victory is on the horizon

[Sirianta 0]

Amen!! Victory is on the horizon!! Love it!

God bless you!

[John7 0]

I strongly advise you click this link. I think its a song that reflects where we all are at the moment, but it shows us where we are all headed:

[Sirianta 0]

Wow, again this brought tears to my eys. Such beatifull words!

Thanks John

[Sirianta 0]

WOW YOU GUYS GOD IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've written another ariticle for this magazine about my dad and guess what I've received a beautifull e-mail this morning from this magazine telling me they would like to use my article!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha - I've got so much joy in myself I don't think I can contain myself

GOD IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Father, Thank you Jesus, I love you so much

[dreamster 0]

S,, i think u will hav otha oppatunities ,, dont give up, go hard, i love riteing 2,, editer D

[Delightful soul 0]

This is soooooo encouraging!

[Sirianta 0]

D!!!!!!!!!! Jack of all trades YOU with God on my side I can do anything

DS I'm sooooo glad it encouraged you!!! With the previous article that came nothing off I just said "God I'm leaving this whole situation in Your capable hands, I'm not going to worry about it anymore and just TRUST YOU LORD"

OH WE SERVE A MIGHTY MIGHTY GOD!!!!!!!!!

[dreamster 0]

yes,, ,,jus a few,

[Sirianta 0]

Oh dear D, God bless you for making us laugh all the time

[dreamster 0]

,,, soo many ppl r ,, so i lavish miself here an otha places, 2 bring wer i kan,, tha joy of D can be a strength,,, that comes frm

[Linda Irish 0]

I just want to say....as I was driving today and contimplating all of this the Holy Spirit brought back something that I have been learning in my life and it is about the seeds that we get....and what we do with them.

we take the word of God and we plant it in our heart and we read that word and believe that word....and then we actually implement that word into our lives we begin to walk the truth of that word into our life...and as we activate, or demonstrate our faith through obedience, actually walking in the ways of God, the fruit begins to grow.

A tree is known by its fruit. But we dont want to pick the fruit prematurely...clearly the fruit would not be ready, would not be perfect. The fruit needs to be mature and ready for harvest.....

The timing is important. The fruit is important. so important that when Christ saw a fig tree and the tree was not producing the fruit like it should he destroyed it.

I use to think that was a bit radical but it is not...

Watching the miracles of God begin from the seed of truth and faith and watching them blossom and then continue on to a ripe and perfect fruit worthy of harvest.

That is when you share the miracle that God has done...wait for it. Stay in the Lord and wait on the Lord and when the fruit is ready for the harvest.......then share in all of God's glory...wait for it, it will come.

That is what came to me as I was driving today. bless you.

[Sirianta 0]

Oh Linda, I wish I could put in words the love of God I feel and the appreciation I feel towards Him and the JOY I feel today!!!

What you've said couldn't be said better, it is SO TRUE!! What I'm also working on lately is to focus more on other people instead of myself and my situations and since I've done that GOD HAS BLESSED ME SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! It brings so much joy in my life to be a blessing to others - what you reap you shall sow. I'm not doing it to receive anything back - I just have this urge to bless other people by what God is teaching me and my life experiences.

JESUS, You are the LOVE of my life!! More of YOU, less of ME

And I thank God for this ministry!!!!!!!!! It's a true BLESSING

[Sirianta 0]

Good one Principle D To have the love and JOY of Christ is amazing and contagious

I absolutely LOVE laughing, it is good for da soul

[dreamster 0]

inDeed

[James Gerald 0]

AMEN! HE ALWAYS COMES THROUGH FOR HIS CHILDREN, THOSE WHO LO______VE HIM! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!