Help me Help my Friend

[Cholette 0]

I have this friend for over 25 years and there is one thing that really bugs me about her...she hates for someone to have the same item (no matter what it is) as she does. She gets upset if someone wears the same color as she does or if they are driving the same car she has, etc.

I mentioned to her the other day what my dream car was. I knew that hers was the same maker, but not the same model. When we had this conversation, I told her the type of car and she got ANGRY! I told her the model that I thought she desired and she said NOOOO it was the one I wanted. I said that it wasn't a big deal because they make more than one of each model... She didn't find that funny.

I want to help her, but I'm not sure what it is that makes her like this. Does anyone have any clue? Do you know anyone like this?

HELPPPPPPPP!!!

[dreamster 0]

i hav an idea,, i think its a deepa issue, of identity,,an wantg 2 stand out, an wen her frends do/hav the same items, i guess it steals from her ,,so shes no longa feeling wat she needs 4 validation, ,,,this is a branch that hassa root origen, yo feel me, ,,,,,,,,,,,,, Dr dee is in,,

[Cholette 0]

Good stuff D. I think you are right...IDENTITY!

[owen 0]

I think she needs to understand what is a healthy self-image. Having a poor self-image is basically rooted on physical appearance, and belongings or possessions. As a result, it turns out to be an insecurity issue.

If she is a christian, she has to know who she is in Christ. If NOT, it is a very challenging situation. Personally, I don't want to make my life mesirable by comparing what I have with others.

But i pray for you sista, may God gives you patience and wisdom to help your friend.

[Cholette 0]

Thank you Owen...much strength is needed. I think it's bothering me now because NOW is the time to deal with it.

[owen 0]

I know you can do it because God is with you.

....love rejoices in truth....

[dreamster 0]

i think anutha issue 4 ur frend is envy, ,, ,,yo feel me,,

[Cholette 0]

Explain why you feel it's envy?

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Cholette,

I think that it may be a spirit of envy & jealousy. I feel this way because she has low self esteem....why she gets angry when others share her same taste..she feels she can only be unique through these things....not through her own personality. These two spirits in particular stem from low self esteem and self worth. She places value on herself through these things. I pray that make sense. I pray this helps for discernment in which way to handle this. Maybe some deliverance ministry may help.

Love in Jesus,

Connie

[dreamster 0]

yep im wiv on this,,instead of rejoiceing wiv othas she gets angry,,the self werf issue is the core thing here, ,,idk know how u help her tho

[Cholette 0]

Dove-Solutions wrote:

Cholette,

I think that it may be a spirit of envy & jealousy. I feel this way because she has low self esteem....why she gets angry when others share her same taste..she feels she can only be unique through these things....not through her own personality. These two spirits in particular stem from low self esteem and self worth. She places value on herself through these things. I pray that make sense. I pray this helps for discernment in which way to handle this. Maybe some deliverance ministry may help.

Love in Jesus,

Connie

Thank you Connie. I do understand everything you've said and I wholeheartedly agree with you.

[Cholette 0]

dreamster wrote:

yep im wiv on this,,instead of rejoiceing wiv othas she gets angry,,the self werf issue is the core thing here, ,,idk know how u help her tho

She will never admit to having low self worth so I can only pray. You are right...this is the core of her issue.

[dreamster 0]

ok, i know sum ppl wiv this an they try 2 boost ther esteem wiv material things, ,,but it dont werk, ,,i guess it comes bak 2 how ur raised, perhaps her parents didnt affirm her much,

[Cholette 0]

Yes her mother is very condescending towards her so maybe she just wants to stand out and be the only one with certain things. I'm getting it now...thanks Dee

[MaMaZ 0]

Hi saw the post and wanted to add my thoughts to this thread, have been in similar situations myself and I put it down to vanity. Having everything and seeing someone with the same items seem to put in my mind thoughts of having to do better or get better, this stems from low self esteem though what we portray on the outside is the exact opposite to what we feel on the inside, no one can see that the heart pines for more and more. The hardest move for me was admitting I had a problem in the first place, coming from the world and having to humble myself was a transition that came from many nights of prayer persecution and seeking the truth within Gods holy word.

By the way I never let on that I had the problem only god new I valued worldly things over my salvation.

And Jesus helped me to see this truth I was a perfectionist always showing prestige when inside of me was messed up, image was a must in my life and I had to have it all. Huh! How arrogant and vain of me but this is the person I used to be and through many a challenge and constant warring within myself I believe the word of God delivered me from these worldly temptations. I know that it was always I had to have I had to get I had to do it –sigh- Now I’m like Lord if this is your will show me where and what I should do, my will is to stay focused on me, Gods will in my life is to offer and give to another that is without. God has given me so much and now I find pleasure in the most simplest of tasks. Offering my home to another when they were in need this one act of charity was hard for me. Sharing my space was out of the question giving what I thought was mine cause I earned it was a revelation in itself for when God opened my eyes to see his truth I realized I had so much yet I kept it all for myself. When I realized what I had was to be given and shared God blessed me more and helped me to see his loving will in my life, he knew in his time all would be done to glorify his holy name. I have more than I need and I share with others that which God blesses me with. God blessed me with his truth and that is to Love one another to bless one another to intercede and pray for one another and last but not least to grudge not one against another why for I am accountable and unless the truth had not come my way I would have been condemned. Be blessed one and all to God be all the Glory, Amen

Glory Be To God

[Cholette 0]

MaMaZ wrote:

Hi saw the post and wanted to add my thoughts to this thread, have been in similar situations myself and I put it down to vanity. Having everything and seeing someone with the same items seem to put in my mind thoughts of having to do better or get better, this stems from low self esteem though what we portray on the outside is the exact opposite to what we feel on the inside, no one can see that the heart pines for more and more. The hardest move for me was admitting I had a problem in the first place, coming from the world and having to humble myself was a transition that came from many nights of prayer persecution and seeking the truth within Gods holy word.

By the way I never let on that I had the problem only god new I valued worldly things over my salvation.

And Jesus helped me to see this truth I was a perfectionist always showing prestige when inside of me was messed up, image was a must in my life and I had to have it all. Huh! How arrogant and vain of me but this is the person I used to be and through many a challenge and constant warring within myself I believe the word of God delivered me from these worldly temptations. I know that it was always I had to have I had to get I had to do it –sigh- Now I’m like Lord if this is your will show me where and what I should do, my will is to stay focused on me, Gods will in my life is to offer and give to another that is without. God has given me so much and now I find pleasure in the most simplest of tasks. Offering my home to another when they were in need this one act of charity was hard for me. Sharing my space was out of the question giving what I thought was mine cause I earned it was a revelation in itself for when God opened my eyes to see his truth I realized I had so much yet I kept it all for myself. When I realized what I had was to be given and shared God blessed me more and helped me to see his loving will in my life, he knew in his time all would be done to glorify his holy name. I have more than I need and I share with others that which God blesses me with. God blessed me with his truth and that is to Love one another to bless one another to intercede and pray for one another and last but not least to grudge not one against another why for I am accountable and unless the truth had not come my way I would have been condemned. Be blessed one and all to God be all the Glory, Amen

Glory Be To God

Awesome Testimony MamaZ...God is good!!!

[dreamster 0]

yep makes sense, glad i kood help howevaaa, not 2 hard 4 lordy 2 fix ,D

[MaMaZ 0]

Glory be To God thankyou his grace is amazing isnt it woohoo!! lol