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awesomegod16

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  1. Thank you Connie, Every time I go see my family, there is such tremendous fear that comes against me. It's like I'm drowning in it. I end up with so much anxiety that gets triggered when I have to do something different. blossom
  2. I am going to visit my family that i grew up in. And its the family i sometimes talk about and that are in my dreams. please pray for me as i haven't been there in three years. and i'm asking the lord to open up some dialogue with my older sisters about issues that happened in my childhood. also prayer just for good traveling because i do not like to fly and have a fear of flying. blossom
  3. Please bear with me but this is long. I really need some help with this one. I didn't put it in the dream column because I m not sure what it is. I know I was asleep when I dreamed this but not sure how to take this. I was in this place. It looked like I was sitting outside a banquet hall. There was someone else with me, this woman or it might have been a girl. We were supposed to go inside together but for some reason she went in without me. I was sitting outside on something. When I decided I wanted to go in, my feet would not move. It was like my mind was not connected to my body. As much as I tried, I could not get my legs to move. And it was at this point that I knew my mind was not working in conjunction with my body. It was like I could feel the separateness. I wasn’t sick nor did I have some illness. There was something else that was going on. Finally though, I managed to go in. It was a very large room. There were no lights but there were candles at each table. There were approximately 6 or 7 chairs to a table. The tables were circular. There were people at each table because I recognized one woman but I was on my way at that time to the bathroom. There were other people in the bathroom while I was trying to use it, a woman and a girl with a man who was outside in the room. The woman and girl were standing right next to me and I kept asking them to close the door but the woman commented about the smell. Then, I was back at this table and there were empty seats where I was sitting. The place at this point was well lighted and I don’t think anyone was sitting at my table with me. I must have been well known there because at one table were teenagers who were joking and laughing it up. They called for me to come to their table. One of the teens were opening something, like it was show and tell, and later on I recognized it as a rape kit. I must have had a reputation there with the speakers because they were afraid I was going to say something to disrupt them; but I sat at my seat quietly. The speaker, who was a woman was talking about rape. She was talking and somehow I went through this transformation into someone else. I didn’t say much at this time and the lady up front who was speaking was thinking that I was just acting quiet and any minute I was going to start making noise and being disruptive, but I didn’t. I know she felt that I would do something to embarrass them. But I continued to sit still and I began to withdraw from everyone. I started to change where I didn’t want to be around anyone and I didn’t want anyone to touch me. I stayed by myself. And after a break, then I walked down to the water like I was going for a swim except I didn’t take my shoes off. I only walked to the edge where the waves flowed up the edge of the sand, but my shoes were wet. But it happened again the next day. I walked out there a little further. It was like I was sleep walking and didn’t know what I was doing. And who I as I was I am no longer. I see myself walking further into the water with my clothes on, but this time only up to my knees. At this point the speakers, who were psychiatrists, were alarmed because they saw me and then one lady tries to pull me back from the water. I told her that I must have forgotten to take my clothes off before I went into the water. Now they are further concerned and think I am trying to kill myself and I have classic symptoms of a rape victim and they think I am in trouble. I keep going down to the water and this time I am up to my neck in this water but I am oblivious to what is going on. They watch me and I find that the psyche people are watching me now. Then I turn into this girl named Stacey. I know that is my name. I am now someplace else talking to my pastor’s wife. And she is talking to me but a little girl’s voice is coming out of my mouth and I am telling her about my mother having sex with me. I hear the little girl’s voice and see her behavior and mannerisms. She is crouching low and talking to this woman. I see my childhood home and see my parents’ bedroom. They had a huge bed. And the little girl says that she is on the bed and things happen. And she says her mom is touching her. She tells all of this to this lady but the girl says that this woman was there at this time, that she was in the room. The girl says she saw her there when she was little and that she was time traveling. She tells the pastor’s wife that she saw her there and she saw the entire thing that she knew what happened. And she tells her that her hair color was different. It was more golden like yellow. She says a lot of other things about her mom to this woman. And the girl says also that the girl has to go to bed at this time. She goes to bed but then she sees this monster come into her bed room. She says I see the monster. And he has chains around his feet but he was walking through the hallway to her room. And she said before that her mom did something so she wouldn’t remember. She told her to eat a piece of paper like it was a memory and swallow it. After that the monster was touching her head and he takes her someplace. He messes with her mind somehow. Then after that she is sitting back with the pastors wife and telling her all of this, then the pastors wife takes out a mirror and asks me to look at the mirror but I don’t recognize myself. I don’t see me at all. blossom
  4. I will definitely do that and am doing reading his word. In fact its interesting that I did take that same scripture today that I read from Exodus again. I m sure God is making sure I am really getting this message he wants to give me by telling me again about it and reminding me about it. thank you all for what you wrote. i am definitely getting it. i suppose in the true sense God wouldnt have any problem telling anyone anything if he wanted. i see that in the scriptures too. i guess i just have to dig deeper. thank you again Dove, Cholette, everyone for responding blossom
  5. Thank you Cholette, that helps a lot. I've often wondered and perhaps should have asked sooner about that scripture after getting it so often. It would have helped me to understand what God was trying to tell me. It seems I still need a lot of help in determining what God is saying to me although I do pray a lot myself. What happens to a person when their spirit is wounded or such that God cannot speak and the person hear? I mean, God can hear us very well, but what if I cannot hear God? Isn't it our spirits that connect us to God? blossom
  6. What do you think it means when God gives you a scripture in Exodus 23:20 "Behold, I send an Angel before thee, to keep thee in the way, and to bring thee into the place which I have prepared?" Do you think God really sends an angel or is that figuratively? blossom
  7. gives me something to think about. i do like what you said about 'repetition' because that always seems to be something that happens in my dreams, like God is saying to me, well you seem not to understand it this way, why not try another way. or perhaps my own conscious is pushing things up to the front. i can understand what God was do with Peter, by giving him that vision more than one time because Peter was rejecting what he believed was wrong. Do you think he constantly uses this opposites thing in our lives a lot? From what I am beginning to understand about dreams, most of our symbols could come from the bible or what their symbols stood for, yet they didn't seem to have everyday personal dreams but those that affected a whole nation or world or some kind of truth, as in the case of Peter. hence that's why people commonly refer to dreams as something a person ate like pizza the night before. blossom
  8. it seems that the dry spell is over in terms of my dreams. since I have been dreaming mostly about things that were in my own mind and not exactly godly dreams where there is a spiritual message. does a person have to have an anointed gifting to have godly prophetic dreams or is that a gift in itself that points to a spiritual gift? if a person dreams nightly, could it be that they have a lot on their minds and it isnt necessarily God? stuff in their hearts that shows itself in their waking lives? also, when people say or write, that if the dream isn't godly or given a message like that then don't accept it, how do you know if a dream is satanic in origin? blossom
  9. I understand what you've been saying. I was sick and wasnt up to doing much although I did pray. I ve been so busy at the time I was sick I was flat on my back for a while which helped me to slow down. Now, I am kind of alert to what God might want to say to me. I have been dreaming but I have no idea what it really means especially since it doesnt make sense to me. two things that dont go together. but thank you for your responses. i think i kind of starting waving the white flag of surrender. blossom
  10. I wonder if there is a time in our lives when God isn't speaking as much to us. I mean personally if He isn't speaking as much to me or that he stops. I only ask this because of right now not dreaming as much or remembering what I am dreaming. Does a person get a break from the Lord sometimes, or is it because we don't heed his voice, that he stops speaking and doesnt want to tell us anything new because we didnt get it the first time? I mean I m probably really ignorant as to dreams and stuff, not really knowing my own heart. And does not knowing my own heart figure in to why I have such a hard time really seeing dreams? It's like I can do all the praying in the world but still I have to depend upon what someone else says about my dreams, then, I still don't really understand because it sounds like Greek to me. I just feel like maybe God has given up on me or maybe I've given up on myself. I guess its safe to say that I am pretty discouraged about all of this. blossom
  11. thank you Hislightbeam, for your information because I had read not only christian fiction books on this subjects but other books as well. yet it seems that some people would rather interpret that scripture in Genesis to anything else other than what it says the sexual union of angels with human beings. blossom
  12. I actually am joining in on this study a little late but as I really need to understand the role of the prophet and visions etc. When I read about this account what I saw was that Samuel was told about Saul before he even met him. And also everything was done according to God's timing because Saul and the servant were out looking for the donkeys. In the meantime God speaks to Samuel, the day before and tells him about Saul. He said he 'revealed" to Samuel, not just told him. I wonder if there is a difference? Anyway, so actually it says the second time the Lord said to Samuel about Saul. And he said, Hear now my words: if there be a prophet among you, I Jehovah will make myself known unto him in a vision, I will speak with him in a dream. (Numbers 12:6) so God makes himself known to a prophet in a vision and speak to him in a dream, interesting. blossom
  13. Thank you Cholette, some time ago, when i was in college, and i do not know if i was a believer or not, but someone told me that same thing, that I was going to be used to help people in this area. i was not prepared to hear that and did not want to hear it then because i was still felt like it was a badge of shame to struggle with this. i know every since is equal in God's eyes yet sometimes people cause more harm in this area. that was a long long time ago that i heard that... but God has his own timing blossom
  14. I came here as I received an email. And I am still seeking the Lord for many answers to my questions. First of all thank you for responding to this. I hadnt forgotten it, just that I wasn't sure a few months ago if I was going in the right direction then. I was not totally committed to the Lord in what He wanted me to do. Since then I have committed to the lord 100% as it is a stand I have taken to turn away from this sin. I have found that once I have made that decision, it is better for me because I am not constantly swayed. My mind is set. But I know that from talking to family members that this is some kind of generational thing. I have never had a prayer of deliverance about it but some time I will. I am just amazed at how God has brought me through learning about a lot of things and one thing is about deliverance. He has worked a lot in my dreams also but I know that is not the only way he speaks yet He has chosen that avenue to really speak to me. blossom
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