Jadams

Wow! I didn't know that about you D...I'm glad God has shown Himself faithful to you and by faith YOU ARE out of the woods!!!!

You already have the fruit of the spirit, you just need to uncover it. Your definition of what would make you happy are all temporary things. Marrying the right person is NOT going to keep you happy because there are issues that come with marriage...even when you marry the most fantastic person. Having a child that you love with everything in you will not make you happy 100% of the time because there is MUCH heartache that comes with raising a child...getting the right job may get you the paycheck you want, but working with co-workers that have their own issues will test everything that God put in you. The only thing on your list that brings happiness is "meeting with God more". Your relationship with Him will be all the happiness you need...it's everlasting and you may find that some of the other things on your list may not be exactly what you reallly want. So like the scripture Virtuous quoted...seek first God's Kingdom and His righteousness and all the things HE wills in your life will be added to you. I hope this helps you.

:cute: :cute: We serve an awesome God!!!! He said he would take care of His own during the famine and I've seen it over and over again during these hard economic times. When people are being laid off, God's people are getting jobs. Lord, we bless and praise You for your marvelous works in Desiree's life...TO YOU be all the glory and the honor!!!!!!!

Oh DEFINATELY...bed time is the worst. I think that your devotion time needs to be before you go to bed. If that's when the "feeling" comes over you, then you need to "beat it to the punch" so to speak. I used to have a hard time on Friday and Saturday nights. As soon as I got off of work on Friday's it was like I turned into a different person. I started going to the movies or going out with friends, but when I came back home, it was torture. So instead of supressing it by replacing it with other things, I would have my devotional time with God when I got home from work on Friday's and I would just be honest and real about my wants and needs. There were times when I would feel so much better after prayer, but in the middle of the night I would slip, but it was a process for me and one day...it was over. There was one thing that God spoke to me when I was doing the movies and going out with friends. He said "without me, you can't be free from this". What he was saying was, I was trying to take my mind off of that issue by replacing it with activities and not Him. When I started putting Him in place, then my deliverence came. I hope this helps you a little more.

Yes Desiree...that's the scripture that I was trying to think of in Proverbs, but it wouldn't come to my mind. I quote it all the time... Vile, I hope the discussion of this issue is helping you...I can't tell if it is or not.

Vile, you don't have to know where the holes are. SOmetimes they are deep rooted and you will never begin to figure those out. Mine wasn't just my ex leaving me...I'm sure. Just turn your heart and soul over into His care and let HIM handle the rest. I don't know all that God did to deliever me and unless He tells me, then I really don't care because being on the other side of that thing is the most beautiful feeling and I want you to experience that.

First of all Vile...I would like to tip my hat off to you for being so honest and so open about this issue. This issue is MORE widespread in the church than anyone could ever imagine. I do agree with the intimacy part because there is something in you that does not feel fulfilled. Only God can do that. I agree with Sunshine that there is no formula to getting intimate with the Lord because everyone's intimacy is different....it depends on the individual. I believe that when you spend time daily in his Word and in prayer, entrusting those things that you don't undertand into his care, pray in the spirit (if you do that), then one day you will wake up and realize that the areas that you struggle in will no longer be there. How do I know this? I had the same problem as you. I didn't do it as much as you did, but I knew that me doing it was because my husband left me and we had a very FRUITFUL sex life. To go from that to absolutely nothing blew my mind. I was mad at God for "allowing" him to leave me the way He did so I didn't care what I did. I watched the "smut" because I didn't care. When I finally came to myself and rose out of the mud and realized that I can't make it without the Lord, I took EVERYTHING to Him and he began to minister to my soul. He NEVER said anything about the masturbation...He ministered to me in the areas where I was empty. I can't tell you when or how it happened, but my desires changed and just thinking about manually taking my body to that level made me sick. Thinking about watching "smut" on tv (which was quite costly and totally out of my budget) no longer made sense and seemed so stupid. Now, do I still miss sex? YES!! The difference now is that I run to my Father's arms and I tell him all about it and the feeling goes away because HIS strength becomes perfect in my weakness. It's hard for me to cast down imaginations the way some of these ministers tell us to do it by speaking to it and casting it down so when my mind wants to go there from time to time, I turn on praise and worship music or turn on a CD of a message that I purchased from my Pastor or my favorite minister from tv or somerthing. You have to learn how to replace the thoughts because our actions begin in our thoughts. I hope this makes sense to you. I want to help you and I'm glad that I went through this so I could openly share with you how I received my deliverance. The most beautiful lesson that I learned out that season of my life that God NEVER shunned me or turned me away because I was doing it...He was trying to draw me even the more because of me doing it because He wanted me whole and he knew that it was the voids and emptiness I had in my soul that was causing me to do this. I'm praying for you my sister in Christ...

Wow...you are a wealth of information. This is good stuff. Thanks for sharing.

Praying for you Dreamster