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  1. i prefer movies like the Passion of The Christ and The Gospel of John and a few others about the Old Testament to actual reading... this could be significant to God or it isn't... perhaps if/when i actually GET my blessings...i might find it easier to really enjoy READING but right now i find that hard what's going on here?
  2. i've found myself responding to certain prayer requests or questions on many different Christian forums over the years the problem is though, i haven't solved ANY of my OWN problems yet i give out advice that feels so Pious and Wise yet i have a hard time believing my own words
  3. and this is the ONLY similarity God officially requires in this kind of situation?
  4. lionheartedgirl, i'm always curious when i hear other believers associate "being on fire for god" with being around others/friends without knowing too much about you, i can almost say that God is drawing you AWAY from others for a time to REALLY learn how to be on fire for Him...no matter what...even when you're lonely
  5. well of course having offspring to feed IS the reason to get a job so of course you'll be provided whatever you need
  6. I REALLY messed up. I don't have the somewhat positive feelings I had a few days ago from Chimere's posts. I blew it. I have this sense He's not getting through or vice versa. I'm trying to listen to some Christian music and I CAN'T get hyped about it, not one bit. Trying to read the Bible, same effect. What do I gotta do? I can go either way at this point...I can be Hungry for Spiritual things or earthly things. Words like "God", "Jehovah", etc...just feel so FLAT right now and boring. pray for me because I'm feeling "tired of Jesus and israel and this whole thing" right now. combine this with the fact that i'm so bored in the natural and you get ultimate misery. horrible side effect of Willful sin but then again this could go deeper than me just carelessly looking at porn 3-4 times in 1 day.
  7. everyone pray for me RIGHT NOW seriously i feel the Spirit grieving in me...He may forgive me but He's hurt this is real...i can hardly believe it's real but it is i'm feeling the bad side effects of WILLFUL sin...grieving the Lord there's a gap in my spirit and the Lord's right now this sucks i describe this feeling like this: it feels like I don't want anything to do with Jesus or scripture and I sense He doesn't want anything to do with me i don't want this feeling i can't keep doing this Lord draw near to me yes not that i was extremely close to the Lord 2-3 days ago but NOW i'm really not close pray for it to be undone
  8. i know i keep dragging this crap on but i got no choice now i made a mistake i just ALWAYS forget that Jesus died for these actions of mine i have a history of WILLFUL sin...not just failing i don't feel god...i "feel" from god the way a human would feel if i let them down so carelessly this willful sin has become like a hallmark and it SUCKS i feel really pissy right now it's so irritating WHAT is going to help me with willful sin? can i get everything back i had with Jesus AND MORE before what i did yesterday?
  9. yes Lara, it's not "daydreaming" as much as it WANTING you described the very same thing i do...thinking about what i wish i had in significant detail
  10. Amen Chimere, but you already know how to handle that stuff...if you can't do it then i can't do it Chimere i failed to mention something over our past few interactions...i actually have had a few "job oppurtunities" come to me throughout 2011 but i turned ALL of them down i had my reasons for doing so these were the reasons: one job was gonna require me to try and sell vaccuum cleaners which A.) i didn't really apply for and B.) i just didn't feel like i could do. the guy started showing us how the complicated machine works and we the employees were then going to have to memorize every little thing and then try and assertively present and sell it to customers. it just wasn't gonna be something i could do or wanted to do. i left my first day of orientation for that job. then for another job...i got a chance to talk the boss guy before i made any commitment and he told me he had already fired 3 people before me because they "couldn't keep up". i was turned off by that and never went through with it. then another opporntunity i turned down because it required me to work form home which i'm under the impression that i DON'T want to do. i want to be OUT of this house. since i've made these decisions...i've been wondering what God thinks of them was i justified in turning these opportunities down? i feel i was and still do...despite the drawbacks i've experienced from NOT having one of these jobs. i just keep wanting to believe that there's a "Perfect" job better suited for me out there but i couldn't say exactly WHAT that would be. i just know that i didn't feel right nor confident about any of those previous opportunities.
  11. what do you mean specifically by day dreaming? do you just mean dwelling on stuff that isn't of god or dwelling on things you wish you had? make your requests known to God daily verbally and KNOW that He's listening and has already done it...don't just hope He has...know He has this is what you need to do instead of holding anything in your mind write stuff down too...just keep your thoughts COMING OUT verbally or in written form until you feel God's peace until you're tired of thinking about them
  12. this seems pretty common for Born Again parents nowadays from what i've seen it's like God set things up this way...that the kids of Born Again parents would be MORE open and susceptible to drugs it's not for the Born Again parents to change their kids through demands and commands but through prayer yes i agree with your idea
  13. yes, i long for Jesus' presence...i don't even know entirely what that means... "Jesus' Presence" i just know i haven't totally felt it...even over the past few days with all these prayers on my behalf to me..."Jesus Presence" would be something i've NEVER felt, heard, or seen before and that's what i've been waiting for to happen...is this accurate? on another note, this may or may not be a big deal to the Lord right now but i'm STILL finding myself wanting to eat fast food and watch a few episodes of a show i've liked called "King of Queens" even NOW i still want to do that i don't know if the Lord is wanting me to give that up...the food...yeah maybe, i theoretically need to start eating much healthier anyway...but the show...i don't know...i can feel myself resisting that if i knew God wanted me to give that up these are my honest feelings here even though i don't want to resist God, i just get a certain "comfort" or "pleasure" from the show
  14. astra, my dad isn't appreciative nor grateful when i do the things...whether he forces me to or not he doesn't care, he or the Enemy just wants to me to be bossed around and overworked secondly, yes my dad may have started with good intentions but i've been Prayed Over and Interceded For several times and this junk with my dad has come up each time and the fact that the Enemy IS involved here somewhere in the mix my dad has strange behavior...he gets really angry about stuff Born Again Christian parents wouldn't...even other non Christian parents i've met i don't feel comfortable around him at all...i haven't for years and years he wants me to get a job BU THEN turns around and gives me a long list of chores to do and "home projects" i gotta worry about which take up all my time when instead i should be out getting my OWN work for MONEY so i can be INDEPENDENT but the Enemy apparently is trying to prevent that then even when i got a job, he'd still bother me a bout a CAREER and really hound me and harass me about it...not lovingly guide me i can't afford to have any discouragement but i am angry right now God knows i'm TIRED of doing all this POINTLESS work that just wastes time that i can never get back
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