Jasmine

Jason is in rehab so yeah....

I have been feeling very depressed lately because of the whole Jason thing. He's officially in rehab now. His mother is with him. I was worried that he was going to find someone else (we are "involved" with each other. He asked me to be his girlfriend but I turned him down because I wasn't allowed to date). I also thought that I really didn't make a difference in his life. Then, my 8-year-old sister told me that I probably made a big difference his life because the last conversation we had I talked about Jesus and how how saves and that he still loves Jason. Then she said that there was a reason why he was in my life. She said that maybe Jesus chose me to lead this boy down the right path (she means for me to lead him to Jesus). Now, I feel ten times better. I also had a dream about him too, but I have to post it first so I'll put the link to it here. I feel much better now. /t16642-two-dreams-about-jason

Thx I'll look more into it.

I don't know. I just feel like I should because I got free from it because of Jesus. I've been free for a month. In the Jason thing, I feel like I should say or do something.

My therapist told me that if I don't tell her about it by our next session, she will tell my mom about it. I would rather my mom hear from me than a professional. That's how my mom found out about my self-harm. It's better she hear from me. I am free from my porn addiction, but I still need to tell her. In light of the past events with Jason, I think it's time. I want to share with Jason what I had. I know that still my addiction pales into comparison with his. He's addicted to alcohol. I WAS addicted to porn. I just need to know how to convince him that porn is terribly horrible. I don't think he knows. I just want to make sure. Plz pray that my mother will be understanding. I have a friend who also used to have a porn addiction and I don't want he r to think that he contributed to it. It would devastate him if we couldn't talk.

I swear I don't open them and no one else does...

Thx but did you see the other thread that I sent you

http://www.godvine.com/Two-Guys-Play-and-Sing-Hallelujah-It-Will-Give-You-Chills-1308.html

Thx. I actually just called a hotline and a man name Jason picked up (what a coincidence!) He said it goes by a 28 day cycle and it depends on how long he needs it. It calmed me down. Now I just need the strength to pull an all-nighter to finish an essay and a big project. I wish I could just get sick and not have to go. These past few days have been really hard. Pray that I pull through. Thx.

I spoke with Jason. He's going to rehab and I won't talk to him for a very long time. I don't know if he will be able to talk with me again. The last things I said to him were about how he needed to accept Jesus into his life. He said that he think I came into his life to help him with his problems. He's been drinking everyday fore the past 3 yrs. He has issues with his father and his best friend killed himself. I know or a fact that God intertwined our lives for a reason so I know he will get better. I just want to see him after he gets help to know for sure that what I said to him saved him. I really want to know when he will get out. I want God to tell tonight when he will get out, what affect I have had on him, and what is to become of our friendship. I need to know. By the looks of it, he might stay for a very long time. He doesn't like opening up and at rehab he'll have therapy all the time. Please, for our sake pray that I know when we'll speak to each other or see each other or we hear about each other. I can't sleep and its 12 in the morning and I still have a lot of homework to do. Thank in advance.

Saturday night I had found out that a person that I cared about a lot had an alcohol addiction that has been going on for 3 years. I can't sleep. I can't sit still, but I'm tried. I lost my appetite. I'm nauseous. I can't concentrate on my homework at all. I'm so depressed. I can't function at all. I'll break any second. I'm paranoid that this is all a lie but I know that it explains a lot. He broke his leg out of nowhere. He would call me at 3 in the morning. I was acting crazy and posting weird stuff on my wall on Facebook once. Plus it was other stuff too. His kidneys are really damaged. He always urinates blood. He's been really depressed and worried. I have been so worried that I couldn't concentrate on my homework and I can't pull an all-nighter. I have sleeping problems. Then, I'll seriously be unable to function. I may be sounding selfish (I know its not about me) but I'm also trying to figure out how to talk to him about it. He's an open book, but he's afraid I'll judge him. I won't. Right now I wanna day off school tomorrow. I just want to finish my homework and collect myself emotionally. I can't face tomorrow with school. I have issues with anxiety and depression. I simply can't break down in front of everyone. I can't explain this to my mom. I just want to feign sickness or something other than explaining to her all of this. Please pray that this works out.

Its okay. Thx. Idk but I am not trying to fix him but help him understand that he needs a relationship with Christ. Plus I feel like I have some part in helping him cause our mutual friend was supposed to go to my school, but at the last minute she changed to a school near Jason's school and they met on the bus. Also, I had prayed that his addiction would get better. His urine is red because he is bleeding internally and he didnt flush the toilet and his mom saw it and took him to the ER. He told the doctors that he was an alcoholic. The doctors told him that his kidneys are damaged and he could get diabetes. His mom knows now and now he is being watched like a hawk. Yay! Thx for your help but also how do i approah him about it.

Thx. But also I said I WAS addicted. Past tense, but thx. I honestly feel like I should do more than just pray. I don't think he has anyone in his life that truly knows God. His friends drink and smoke like he does and our mutual friend, although she is catholic, she really doesn't have that strong of a relationship and she wants to desert him almost. His older brother is a bad example. His mom threatened to ship him off to his dad who actually lives in Connecticut.

Jason told our mutual friend that he loves me (I doubt he actually loves me because we are pretty young) and he doesn't want to tell me because he's afraid that I'll judge him (which I can't because some of my family members either have been addicted or are addicted to something. Also, I have been addicted to porn and anything sex-related.) He wants to get better. He wants to change. He said he wants to get better before he gets into a relationship with me. But I'm not allowed to date til I'm 18 (I'm a very protected princess). He's gone through a lot. He has lots of scars on his arms from self-harm. He carries cigarettes in his bag so obviously he smokes them. He wants to get better. When he told our mutual friend, he was sobbing so much. I want him to trust me and to trust that I won't desert him. I know I can't fix him or save him, but I want him to know that he isn't alone. I have gone through a lot to and the worst part about was that I was very lonesome. To this day, I struggle with going to people when I am at my worst. That has only made it worse. That is by far the last thing that I want him to go through - loneliness. When I was told about everything he's going through, I posted a song on his wall on Facebook about seeing another person's pain and telling them that they'll be there for them. I said it was from my heart. He hasn't seen it yet. Anyways, how do I help him trust me? He's the type to share his feelings so that shouldn't be too hard. How do I help him at all?

I just found out that Jason is an alcoholic. He's afraid his kidneys are damaged. His grades are down and his mother is threatening to send him to live with his father who wanted to put him up for adoption when he was born (that's why his parents are divorced). Plus his older brother is leaving the house soon.

I just called out mutual friend and she told me that Jason was telling her about something bad that happened in his family. I don't know all the details because she still had him on the other line. Please pray that he finds comfort in God.

Thx

Please Jesus tell me how much you love me with description. Please let me know you more. What you think about. Who you think about? What do you want? I wanna know you.

Esther. KK

me?

Okay. The identical icons confused me for a moment but whatever! My screen name is ja1721

LOL i already did the fast but thx

Thx

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