Jasmine

Yes Maybe. All I know right now is I want him to confront me.

Yes. That's true. But it doesn't motivate me. Jesus won't harm himself. Jason would. I don't know. It just is that way.

Thx. Jason is going to find out. When he does he might cut himself or drink. I know that if someone hurts themselves because I am hurting myself, I would stop, especially Jason.

I had inscribe the word "alone" into my thigh. I counted all my cuts and scars and I have over 100.

Daisy, the first time that I relapsed was when I had gotten a prank call. I thought it was a friend of mine. I'd rather not say. Then, later on, I was experiencing a lot of stress from school. I was missing out because I was stressed by hearing about Jason's alcoholism. A few days ago, went crazy on myself. I cut myself 80 times in one day. I was depressed about school. I am depressed now because I can't see my friend Ashley. I haven't seen her in 4 years. I want to see Jason too. I was supposed to go out with them, but I can't because their plans take place at 7 pm. I tried calling Ashley to talk to her about it, but her phone is off. I feel like I may cut myself, but I promised myself I wouldn't at least for a month.

I saw my therapist today. She told me that she was proud of me for my progress in my emotional state. My mom too. They don't know I relapsed. Today, I've cut myself twice. Once in the morning, to calm myself. I have been over anxious and it has been making me throw up. Then, during school in the bathroom. I just felt the urge and gave in.

No. I relapsed that post was from last month.

This is a serious problem for me. It is literally ruining my life. I am over stressed because of it and i suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. It's hurting me in more way than you can imagine. I just completed a project that was due last month.

This post was before I relapsed from cutting. I'm cutting again. Thx for your prayer.

Not 60. But 40. I had scars from before.

I think I have almost 60 cuts. They past few weeks have been really tough.

Thx

But that's not why I continue to cut. I feel it is because I find my identity in my depression, anxiety and cutting. I find who I am in my disease. I feel that people will see how strong I am. It's as if my problems make me who I am. It's not that I feel guilty for my sins therefore lashing out on my own body. It's that I am creating problems for myself so I can be someone. If I don't have my problems, then who the hell am I? Sometimes I would cut myself out of anger for someone else cause I couldn't injure them. Also I would do I when I was sad, anxious, or just bored. It's not that I don't have respect for life (I use cutting as a way of coping. In a sense I am using it to live, but It can kill me.) I don't have respect for myself.

Last week I think.

How much I'd love to do that, I can't. I go to an incredibly small church. They don't have a deliverence department. The pastor there doesn't seem like someone who can help me. He's old and traditional. However, I know of a priest that could help me, but I barely get to see him. I might if I sneak to his church, but I don't know. This forum is basically all I have.

I want to stop because I know God cries when I do but I want to be covered in scars. I like it but I want to rebuild my relationship with Jesus. I need to get my life back on track. God has a plan for me and it's happening soon. I've just been diagnosed with clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder. My soul is broken. I am torn. Do I want to get better or worse. I'm comfortable in my pain but I'm sick of it. I think some demons are involved.@

thx

Welcome!

thx

and totally rectal cancer free!

Hey Linda have you noticed you type much better now than before?

I have been emotionally here and there for the past week and a half. I need to have some peace. Please pray because this is affecting my school life.

Yay! Praise the Lord.

Thx continue praying cause forgiving him will be harder than forgiving anybody else

He has traumatized me in the past and I need you to pray that I get everything I need to forgive him. I don't want to say it to his face unless I have to, but right now I want to forgive him in my heart and in writing. I can forgive someone by using the process of poetry, but I need prayer.