Jasmine

Thx Mark!

Have you talked to Laura? She's experienced in stuff like this. She's gone through it! Here's her screen name: daphanie02 She's a moderator. Go talk to her. She also has threads on her experience with finding the one that God has for her. Check them out. Pray about it. Ask for a conformation that's outside your dreams.

Followed you!

But how do I let God in? How do I love him again? Because if it was just sitting around that does the job then everything would be different. What words do I have to say? No matter how I pray a prayer nothing changes, not even on the inside. It's always back to square one. I have prayed, fasted, rebuked, screamed, cried, gotten on my face, gotten on my arthritis ridden knees, and everything just gets worse. I have tried to be honest and real. What do I do? What do I feel? What do I think? What do I say?

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats!

I'm fasting, but I have had stomach pain and the doctors say its either gastroenteritis or an ulcer. They gave me pepcid (famotidine). I fasted the whole day yesterday and when I took the pill I did not get any symptoms. However the day before yesterday I didn't eat and took the pill and my stomach pain worsened but then I ate. Today I am fasting and I took the pill. After around 5 to ten minutes my stomach started hurting (it wasn't hunger pain. I know the difference). Then my head was hurting and cloudy. My knee too. Other stuff started happening. I was sent home from school. My mom said that maybe the pill is too strong and I should take it with food. The pill bottle said nothing about taking it with food and I don't want to break my fast. I have not eaten for a day and a half. The thing is is that I have fallen far from God and I want to change for the better and reconnect with Him. But I also feel like my heart has not been in the right place during this fast. I haven't spent much time with Him because I had homework to finish up and I was being lazy. But I have never even gone a full day before. Is it still okay? Doesn't the fact that I fasted for a day and half count to God? For some reason I feel that I am fasting for merit. I am so unsure about my efforts to show Him that I need Him as my Savior. I am only 14 and I know that spiritually I may be older, but physically I am not. As you can see I am desperate. I am suffering form a porn addiction and I am two months clean from cutting. I know the will that God has for me and I am not fulfilling it. My life is empty. I need to forgive my father and I can't do it without Him.

I am going on a fast. I need the strength to not eat 'cause I love food. Plus, if I don't eat I get nauseous and I get a headache. I also get weak. I plan to do it for a couple of days. I still have Thursday and Friday to go to school. Also, I don't want the adults at my school to get suspicious and think I am trying to lose wait. The goal of the fast is to reconnect with God and to nourish our relationship. Also, to make a shift in a season in my life and to change my attitude towards everything, basically to change me. Please pray all goes well and I am able to do this.

Thx. I am back home now. It is probably gastroenteritis or and ulcer.

He lives in Florida and I live in New York.

I have been having pretty bad stomach pain for a while. Mom took me to the ER. Its not bad enough for them to give immediate care. Please pray that I present something serious that they have to take me in. I think what I have is an ulcer. There has been blood in my stool. Right now I am im pain but i dont know if its hunger or the pain I have felt before. I havent eaten. However people sat that ulcer pain is like hunger. Pray I throw up blood or something.

Okay so now he has finally realized he really needs God. YAY! Any tips on how to lead him in the right direction.

thx

That was truly inspiring. I felt so awesome when I read your responses. I must tell you I feel pressured more than other teens. I feel as if God sees me as very mature for my age so I should be at the same pace as an adult.

thx

Okay now he's getting creepy. My best friend, Ashley, and I were talking and Danny was messaging both of us. The all of a sudden he tells her that he trusts her. They barely know each other. They've only had one conversation before this. They did not talk about anything personal. When she told me what he said, I confronted him and he admitted it proudly. He said he could sense who he can trust. From experience I know Ashley won't be able to handle him. She's online less than I am because of technical issues. Danny doesn't know that so he'll think she's ignoring him. I also explained to him that she's not the type of person to know what to do or say with someone as heavily burdened as he is. They haven't talked since that (it was a few days ago). I'm getting suspicious what is he trying to do?

I keep trying to tell him about God but he still views me as his reason to live or his way out.

This boy still like me. Trying to keep him alive is causing me stress. I don't mean to be selfish, but I am in the process of being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression. I am trying to convince him to get more help but he won't. He's asking for too much from me. He tries to contact me everyday and when I'm busy he complains about how he is all alone and that we'll never speak again. He doesn't know how much I'm sacrificing. My sister is sobbing now because I'm paying attention to Danny more than her. I know he is going through a lot and I am trying to be his friend but I am not sufficient. I tell him to run to God but he doesn't. He needs real help, but he insists that I'm his last hope. I don't know what to tell him anymore.

As you know, I have this dream of being a writer and an actress and serve God that way. I've posted threads and dreams and what not. However, I was thinking about the roots of my psychological issues. I was thinking about my anxiety. Then, I though about the dream. I began wanting it because I have felt ordinary, insignificant. The kids in my old school thought I'd amount to nothing. Plus, I was pretty obsessed with this celebrity. When times were hard, I would cling on to the dream, for the sack of not killing myself. I swear, everything around me was screaming that i should fulfill it. My family was and is going through financial problems. The fulfillment of my dreams would fix that. I felt that it was in everybody's best interest for me to fulfill my dreams. I felt like I could be a prodigy. I wanted nothing more than to be different than the kids of my generation and I already am. But what do I have to show for it? I was anxious about it, not because of the dream itself but the pressure I put myself under to fulfill it soon. I wanted to get out of the situation I was in. No one was happy, especially me. Well, then when I was born again, i didn't obsess of the the celebrity and the dream wasn't in the forefront. I was concentrating on Jesus. Then, when I started a different school, I clung to God and my dreams. Then, I discovered this group when It was on Yahoo back in early 2010. I was having strange dream in which i believed were from God. I had dreams before about fulfilling my ambitions, but those dreams felt different. I still didn't fully believe it could happen. I would just keep begging and pleading and praying. I would hear voices telling me what to do or what the truth is but rarely do i hear them. Then I had this dream that made me no longer doubt. I had a dream and it was about me following my dreams to be a scriptwriter/actress. I was in an empty room (only chairs) with these 3 human spirits. The had gone to heaven when they died. I think I could see heaven in the background (there was like an opening to heaven in the room). One by one they told me about their life and their dreams. They all wanted to make their own big hotel franchises (like Hilton). They should me they were fulfilling their dreams, but they eventually quit (I think because it took a long time and they weren't getting results for some time). After that, they lived mediocre and unfulfilled lives. They didn't seem that old (50s-60s). I guess they died kinda young. They all gave me one piece of advice. I think its don't lose faith, don't lose hope, don't give up. I think either I was in a different room or in the same room and God showed me big parts and details of my aspirations of becoming a scriptwriter/actress. One thing that really stood out was a celebrity I wanted to work with. I thought I was done thinking about him working with me, but I guess God still wants him to be a part of my aspirations. But the thing is that maybe my depression and anxiety stemmed from something having to do with it. As I write this, the idea crosses my head that it was because of the stress and sadness came from barely anyone, not even my family believing in me and they still don't believe in me. Just God and my best friend. I know the answer. I just want to get you're opinion. Plus, I need to know what so say to the psychiatrist when she dissects my brain and finds this. After a while I want to see a Christian therapist. Then, I'll be comfortable telling her every piece of me.

thx

thx

I haven't seen her face to face in almost three years. Now that my house is presentable, I have been speaking to her about coming over. However there's always something in the way! I miss her so much! She's my best friend! Plus, our mutual friend gave her something to give to me. Please pray that we can see each other.

Oh boy! Here we go again with New York! Something fishy is going on here. Good God, please tell us what you wanna do to NYC so I can pack my bags and move to Iceland.

You are gonna make it out alive. You are a warrior!!!!!!!

Hello my name is Ashley, I am using my friend Jasmine's account. She told me that this is a useful sight that can help me understand better what i experience. So i'm a highschool student and i go on a public bus and i ran into some really cute boy. There was something soo different about him. He wasn't the hotties guy on earth to that i must admit, but he was totally different. He was chubby, but the thing that attracted me to him the most was his eyes, his amber eyes! i didn't even know that those color eyes exist haha but long story short i usually always carry a heavy bookbag with soo many books on my hands..there were many seats available on the bus but he was kind enough to move his stuff from the sit and gestured for me to sit down next to him. I with so much pride i said "no it's okay thanks" and i sat behind him..i dont know why i do this to myself i guess i just was soo nervous and i blew that chance i didnt want to seem like i was rejecting him but i always do that. So i see him here and there on my bus it depends at what time he gets out of h.s. i don't know anything about him! not even his name. But then a few days ago he was on my bus and he was sitting next to me he and i had eye contact and people got in the way b/w our view but than the prayed for the people to get up so i can have perfect angle to see him and they got up! this happened like 2 times i saw it as a sign..but i need a lot of help idk how to talk to him or get him to do the 1st move help me please!

Thx and your welcome