TheWhiteShadow

Hello, Freeprincess - This is just my own thinking on your first question: I don't think that it's wrong to not enter into a relationship with someone based upon what you listed as reasons...in a way. When you decide to enter a relationship, you also get any baggage that they have. If they have issues with self-hatred and rejection, and you do not want to deal with those things, you are justified in not wanting to have the relationship. There's also nothing wrong with telling them this, either - provided you can do so in a loving way. No one likes rejection, so there's no guarrantee that they'll receive your reasons. But, to put it bluntly, that's really their problem! That being said, you may want to be sensitive to how you say these things. It's a tricky thing to tell someone that a relationship might be possible IF they take care of this or that. You run a risk of them ACTING, rather than having a genuine change. Personally, it's better off leaving them to the Lord to deal with their issues than setting an expectation before them that they may try to meet for the wrong reasons - i.e., a relationship with you. I hope that makes sense. For the second question (also my opinion), I don't believe that such a meeting is wrong on its own. There is wisdom in assembling together with those who are like-minded and are of similar maturity. Sharing the same vision with others brings many positive elements to a meeting - same expectations, level of committment, understanding, etc. The big "however" for this one is that it's important to not slip into a clique-mentality, being careful to be inclusive to newcomers who share the same vision; be on guard about exclusion of those who really would belong. If God is blessing these meetings with growth, recognize that and adapt the format to fit larger groups or vary those involved. If it becomes too large, consider multiple, smaller meetings or break into smaller groups that meeting in a large-group setting on a less-frequent basis. This stuff may be a no-brainer. If the meeting has a spirit of exclusivity or elitism, consider not being involved with such a thing. Just my opinions. Blessings, -Mark

Wow! Yes! Awesome! :) Thanks much to both of you. -Mark

I have been since spring. There just seems to be closed doors - which isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just frustrating. God knows that I really don't want to force a change that doesn't have His stamp of approval. So, I'll pray about it, maybe see a potential opportunity, go through the steps, but oddly enough I'm not hearing back...when others are! Almost all of my shift is job hunting, and we've applied at many of the same places. Strangely, though, the others have gotten their rejections letters, and I hear nothing back! It leaves me wondering why...? In spite of the frustration, I'll tell you the Word that has been a source of sustainment for me: It keeps coming to mind that I'm like Elijah in the wilderness...fed by ravens and drinking from the stream. It's like a place where there's no prosperity, but I'm not lacking. I am grateful, and I should be content in that my needs are met. It's just that the circumstances aren't very pleasant, and it does wear you down.

Thank you very much for sharing, Connie. I can't tell you how much I long for that freedom. Sadly, there is no longer another Christian there with me. For the longest time there was, and we both admitted to the other that it was because of our friendship that the place was even tolerable. We used to refer to the place as "Egypt," as in our place of slavery. I know, it sounds a bit dramatic to someone who isn't there, but it really is a dark place. Anyway, he allowed himself to be let go via attendance issues so that he'd have a means of income while he went back to school (unemployment) - I never agreed with his choice, but it is what it is. So, no, there's no one. To share just a bit of what goes on, my atheist brother works with me on the opposite shift, and there's a great deal of harrassment because of my faith from him and his "gang." One of them once found it funny to draw a picture of me on a cross. No, I probably shouldn't put up with that, but getting upset is exactly what they want... not to mention that taking action at work would most certainly carry over into the rest of my family - see what I'm saying? Boy, this does sound a bit whiny, doesn't it? -Mark

Whoa! That's EXACTLY what happens to me!! And then I catch myself thinking, "How did I even get to thinking about this person again?"

Hello, Daisy - Since others have shared, my experience is usually a heaviness or that feeling deep in my stomach that let's me know that something is up. If it's in the moment, that person will come to mind and I may have a heart-wrenching feeling, if that makes sense. I've had that quite a few times for my younger brother, who was a Marine and is now a firefighter - and it's usually for his protection that I end up praying. I've never been sick to my stomach over it, but there's been a few times where I could not bring myself to go about my daily routine until I addressed the feelings with prayer. I also don't tell people about it...however, I'm usually pretty attentive to what they say they were doing at the time. -Mark

Hello, All - I hesitate to post this because I don't wish to sound...ungrateful or even whiny. I have a decent job and my needs are met, and I'm very grateful for that. The thing is, the place is, well...a dark place. It's a place that seems so devoid of God - there's so much dishonesty, greed, drug use, etc. that it's a struggle to be a light in a place like this. I know that I should be IN and not OF the world, but who I am while I'm there is a far cry from who I want to be - or used to be when I started there. A friend of mine and brother in the Lord "escaped" from there last year and has since told me how amazed he was at the effect it had on him while he was there and how the change in location had such a positive effect on his representing Christ. That's probably what is most frustrating - it just seems that I'm ineffective there. Does anyone relate to this? Here's something that leaves me confused: Earlier in the year I had been thinking and praying about leaving this place - especially after having a dream where I clearly heard that I was to get out. While at work, I drove outside and looked across the street at another business. The word on the street is that this place is a great place to be if you can get in. Now, the sun had just come up, not a cloud in the sky all around, and I was overcome with the sight of a huge rainbow coming down right over that place. It was jaw-dropping, actually. So, out of what I felt was obedience, I filled out an application and, lo-and-behold, there was a job opening. This was in May. I haven't heard a thing. So, that being said, was I reading this experience all wrong, or should I continue to hold out hope? It's very hard to be where you are when there's no fruit, if you know what I mean. Prayer is much appreciated. -Mark

I will pray as well! I received a PM from this man on 9/1, seemingly at random, asking for prayer...so I have done so, daily, since then. However, I had no idea what sort of situation he was in! Continuing to pray, -Mark

Something happened the other day that many would call coincidence, but I believe it was the Lord's leading. Each day begins the same for me - I am a man of routine. I had just finished my workout routine in the upstairs of my house, and I usually cool down, shower, and get ready for work without having to leave the upstairs. Well, right when I was done, I hear the smoke detector going off in my basement. It went off three times in a row. So, I went downstairs and it stopped when I reached the basement door. Then, I hear a man's voice outside in the street, so I head to the front door. I see that my neighbor is outside, who's an 87-year-old widow, and she's setting out her garbage for pickup. She's approached by this shady-looking man who I've never seen in the neighborhood before. He seems all friendly, but I found myself overcome with a fear for my neighbor's safety! So, I began to pray... The man is speaking with her, and she appears a little uneasy, and he's gesturing off toward the end of the street - it would seem that he's asking for directions. I continue to pray, he eventually walks away, and nothing happens. Now, many would say "So what?" But, I can't describe the concern I felt for my neighbor or how I felt about the man, and I would have had no reason whatsoever to even witness the scene if the smoke alarm hadn't gone off. I really believe this was an example of God's provision of protection for someone else. -Mark