GoldenEagle 0 Posted July 6, 2009 I have been getting closer to a Christian man who I wa sintroduced to by family 3 years ago. Some of the ideas he has been taking on this year do worry me a bit, I'll admit... but last week the cousin who introduced us told me he thinks I shouldn't get involved with this man, although he had tried so hard to set us up in the past! I believe my cousin loves me, but his life is a real mess and part of me wonders if he wants to break up the relationship cos his friend knows things about him which my family don't... on the other hand he could be tryign to spare me heartache. I really don't know what to do... I have to admit that the amn in question does have some real issues, but who doesn't? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
str82heart 0 Posted July 6, 2009 Hello! My input would be to give it time (James 1:19) and test the spirits (1 John 4:1). Everything has a time (Ecclesiates 3:1-8). Be patient, pray and watch the 'fruits' of this persons life. You will get your answer! I would not worry about what anyone else said as you don't know facts yet but make a determination from your own observation and listening to God. Be blessed! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenEagle 0 Posted July 6, 2009 Thankyou!¬ What you sau is very wise. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dreamster 0 Posted July 7, 2009 let tha peace of god be ur umpire,, D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenEagle 0 Posted July 7, 2009 That's just it ... O don't feel any oeace at all but I can't seem to let go. And I have a feeling based on circumstances as well as guts that I am being discussed behind my back. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dreamster 0 Posted July 7, 2009 well if u hav no peace aint that a message??,,,um u kant stopp ppl talkin,, unless theres nothing 2 talk about.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenEagle 0 Posted July 7, 2009 Hehe... that's so true. You know what, I think I know in my heart of hearts I shouldn't be pursuing this, but I just don't believe I'll find anybody else. In ireland if you're my age and not married you're an embarassment to your family. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
str82heart 0 Posted July 7, 2009 Remember that God trancends all traditions and customs! At times, he even defied tradition! (Matthew 15:6 NIV) Don't let tradition and custom hold you back when when God can make a way in the wilderness! Trust God and don't look at this situation in the natural but in the spiritual (I Corinthians 5:7). I would also encourage you to begin seeking God's Face for your future husband and BELIEVE that God will not give you a snake if you ask for a fish! (Matthew 7:10) Remember: the devil will usually put out his best before God puts out His Best! You must be patient and wait upon the Lord if you really want the man God has for you. Don't settle for second best. You won't be happy in the long run.I would pray for God to give me the strength to break this relationship off in a peaceful way and it will be very important for you to do whatever it takes to keep yourself built up in your most holy faith (Hebrews 11) such as a prayer partner, church, Christian music, keeping your thoughts in check and so on while you wait on God so that you can stand against the wiles of the enemy (Ephesians 6).I pray this encourages you and that you find hope and direction! As for others talking about you behind your back: if you are innocent of the accusation-don't worry about it. Jesus was talked about, too. However, if you are guilty of what they are saying, repent.Be blessed! :HiBye: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenEagle 0 Posted July 7, 2009 Thankyou! what you say is right. Much love! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dreamster 0 Posted July 7, 2009 um tell ur family 2 getta life,,, we dont havta conform 2 these strange traditions,,just be u,,, D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenEagle 0 Posted July 7, 2009 My family aren't really like that... it's just Irish culture and I think general Western culture that says if you're in your 30s and single, you're unusual.... christianitytoday's singles forum is full of ppl from all over the place who feel the same! I don't think ppl who are married really understand. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dreamster 0 Posted July 7, 2009 ok it sounded like ur family,,but its a general thang,,um i get u,, um its a issue indeed,,,,i kno ppl in that boat it is tuff ,,, :uhoh: um but u gotta be u ,,dont be pressured,,, D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenEagle 0 Posted July 8, 2009 Thanks - btw I love that blue flower at the end! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dreamster 0 Posted July 8, 2009 ohh ,,,here hava bunch,, anda free 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lola21st 2 Posted July 8, 2009 GoldenEagle wrote:...In ireland if you're my age and not married you're an embarassment to your family. Sarah would'nt have fared very well there! While her issue was parenthood rather than marriage, the same principle applies - everything happens in God's perfect timing. It's very hard to be single these days without feeling like you're being judged to some degree and perhaps even more so in the Church. Ok, maybe "being judged" is a harsh way to describe it but while people have good intentions and try to be encouraging to singles, it feels like pressure regardless of whether one is happily single or desperately trying to find Boaz/Ruth. I would suggest a period of fasting and praying about the relationship to really hear God's perspective on it before you act. And I would offer 2 Tim 1:7: For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. If you don't have a sound mind regarding the relationship, then be honest about whether it's something that you should pursue seeking God's will for you in the matter. Be encouraged, if this is not the man that God has for you, look out and plan to be amazed! (more blue flowers... ) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dreamster 0 Posted July 8, 2009 good lurdys,,i wood be blunt wiv tha lord an urself,,and try not 2 disguise ur tru feelings,,rather than put on a image that ohers r projecting,,if u realy like the guy just say so..even if its not the best choice,atleast start frm ther,,then see wat develops either way ..ther my Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenEagle 0 Posted July 9, 2009 Thanks, afterall 'The LORD desires truth in the inmost parts'. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Delightful soul 0 Posted July 10, 2009 Hi Golden Eagle,I should really not say much since I have recently broken up with a man....but I will encourage you to not pursue something if you feel uneasy about it but also to follow the wisdom said here to allow time to tell.When I was praying about my boyfriend right at the start of the relationship God said "time will tell" that's all I got, whereas my boyfriend was so sure I was "the one".......turned out after time that he had very opposing ideas to me, like he believed in astrology(even though he pretended not to at the start), he also did not believe that God could speak directly to me.....other stuff aswell which I prefer not to put on here but God was showing me clearly that he was not the one. But I held on tight to him till he broke up with me.........and he was the one who was so sure????Praise God I say for being single in the 30s. There are lots of singles in their 30s in this world including non christians-they just sleep around , whereas we christians have to be celebate and control our desires which is hard and so the devil tries anyway he can to make us feel small and unwanted when really the rest of the world is acting crazy by chasing rainbows that aren't there...The truth is I believe is there is one person out there for us that God knows is the right person to marry if we really desire a mate. So don't give up on meeting the right person. Let time tell the truth about this man my friend and don't go where angels fear to tred and jump in too soon. Be wise and don't get into a bad relationship thinking it is better than no relationship like I did.....a broken heart is all you will have to show if you do. Alternatlively if he is the right one, time will tell and you will have patiently waited to find out that you met the right one, either way patience and wisdom are to always be your friend............don't forget to use common sense too........if if looks like a duck and quacks like one, it is a DUCK!God bless and I hope my bitterness has not come through too much and that I have told the truth in love as best as possible.God bless,Claire Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenEagle 0 Posted July 10, 2009 ASnd if it practsies transcendental meditation, it's probably a duck, too! Cos that's a spirit at enmity with mine.... I'm sorry you had such a rough time. I hope things are looking up. x Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Delightful soul 0 Posted July 11, 2009 yep, that sort of thing is the occult hey as you already know probabley and they are opposing spirits definatley!Anyhow, i did have a rough time, but I asked for it ! My eyes were wide open and I wanted relationship so badly that I was willing to make hurtful and damaging sacrifices.God bless and thank God for sayings about ducks! :cute: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
somethingnew04 0 Posted July 15, 2009 Let the peace of God that surpasses all understanding to be your guide...... Don't rush into any relationships that you're not comfortable with....If you do....Oh well ....whatever happens will be called EXPERIENCE! LOL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
2livisChrist 0 Posted July 20, 2009 GoldenEagle wrote:I have been getting closer to a Christian man who I wa sintroduced to by family 3 years ago. Some of the ideas he has been taking on this year do worry me a bit, I'll admit... but last week the cousin who introduced us told me he thinks I shouldn't get involved with this man, although he had tried so hard to set us up in the past! I believe my cousin loves me, but his life is a real mess and part of me wonders if he wants to break up the relationship cos his friend knows things about him which my family don't... on the other hand he could be tryign to spare me heartache. I really don't know what to do... I have to admit that the amn in question does have some real issues, but who doesn't? Hi GoldenEagle, if this man is saying things or thinking things that differ with what God and his holy Word says, then you have to question if he is a true believer in Christ Jesus. If he is not displaying the fruit of the Holy Spirit then he is not born again. You should be feeling trust in him and honesty and a stable mind. Anything less would cause me doubt and confussion also...and we know God is not a god of confussion. Confussion comes from the evil one. Pray for Gods guidance before continuing in a permanent (and possibly out of control) relationship. Try talking with him about his ideas and why he looks at them the way he does. See if you can possibly us scriputre to prove his ideas are false.Not to make him feel bad but to help him to see and understand the truth and your concerns. Pray for God's wisdom to be inside of you before you begin. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HisLightbeam 0 Posted July 20, 2009 My aunt was 51 and a virgin when she got married, and very happily I might add. Very beautiful octaroon, with long black hair, but saved, and she waited, and married a pastor. Have strong faith and wait. Not saying that you have to wait 19 more years, but when God blesses you, He blesses you real good, and it will be satisfying and fruitful. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenEagle 0 Posted July 20, 2009 But 51 would rather rule out the whole having a child thing, and no offence but that's a tragedy rather than a happy story. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Delightful soul 0 Posted July 20, 2009 hey hey, look at Sarah as your example when thinking about children....seriously.........i have thought about how I am 34 and am "getting older" and when I go to the word,God shows me that even when you are in your 90s you can be impatient and negative haha I bet you thought i was going to say .....have children didn't you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenEagle 0 Posted July 26, 2009 If you told me you were 90 and pregnant, that would've been a bit of a shock, lol! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Christa 0 Posted July 27, 2009 See Golden Eagle.....you had nothing but good come out of this post you did. Please don't delete your account. Don't you see how much we appreciate you! We're all friends here I promise you. We all want to help AND we want you to help us! Maybe someone needs to hear that one thing that only you can say. You have the special touch like all of the rest of us at any given time that the Lord calls. You're a blessing to us here! I assure you of that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Christa 0 Posted July 27, 2009 Claire, I'm turning 34 this week......give me a head's up.....good or bad? I find that even number years are more calm Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Delightful soul 0 Posted July 27, 2009 well since I have just turned 34 myself I would have to give you the report that getting older is better than the alternative! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Christa 0 Posted July 27, 2009 Ha ha ha! That is so true. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
