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Tromo3

Problems with my father

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I have a lot of problems with my father, but he doesn't know and if he knows than I will be in a LOT LOT LOT of trouble.
When I have homework that I NEED my mother to help, he says you NEED to do it ALONE(5% of my homework from the fifth grade my mother helped).
He doesn't let me spend much money on markets like this month the book I want is 70 KM( Money in our country), and he only let's me buy that one, but there are 5 and MUCH MORE Books I want like Twilight, R. L. Stine books etc.
He has rules in the house Which I REALLY REALLY hate and are stupid. He sometimes behave that I know everything. He is behaving unfair to me( My brother got the worst grade, but I almost got it, and he didn't punish or got angry at my brother but I was punished.)He is BOSSY,SELFISH and ( don't know the word in English but is when someone thinks that something is Right but wrong and he can't even think that what he thins is wrong).

What I really don't like is that he thinks that all we learn in History and Geography is false. Than he teaches me false everything. And that he doesn't like other nations,
I am totally different, but I mustn't tell him that cause I will get punished for a long time. 90% sure.

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This makes me so sad.I have know idea what to tell you,except that you have to continue to respect your father's wishes.I know we never like all of our parent's rules,but we have to abide by them.

We do things much different in our family.Would he be upset if you were mailed a book from the U.S?We trade books very often,but if I was to send you a book it would be yours to keep or yours to share with a friend to read.I promote reading always.

When you're truly frustrated with the way that your father is treating you,just remember that you have friends here that will listen to you vent anytime Smile

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bunnyfuzzyness wrote:
This makes me so sad.I have know idea what to tell you,except that you have to continue to respect your father's wishes.I know we never like all of our parent's rules,but we have to abide by them.

We do things much different in our family.Would he be upset if you were mailed a book from the U.S?We trade books very often,but if I was to send you a book it would be yours to keep or yours to share with a friend to read.I promote reading always.

When you're truly frustrated with the way that your father is treating you,just remember that you have friends here that will listen to you vent anytime Smile


The thing is he doesn't trust 99% people on the Internet and Trusts Nobody From UAE and USA, and he will punish me If I get real mail form Someone that he doesn't know in True Life. But thanks much for the Offer.

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you're welcome Smile You need to be careful of people on the internet,but there are good people out there. You have to remember a lot of it comes from the way that he was raised himself or sometimes his own insecurities.Just remember to respect him and to grow up and be the woman to want to be ok

~hugs to you~

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I can understand you but we must not hate our parents because of them we are born in this wonderful world. Sometimes my mom is like that sometimes my father too even if they are like that I still respect them. Even if they are wrong you could see a lesson behind from that mistake.
And regarding with your book he let you buy a one book (for me its enough atleast i have one book). Even he won't let you buy a book its okay also because maybe he dont have money to buy your book or he will spend it to your family needs.If you really like that book try to save money the book will stay there for you to buy him. Sometimes i really want something (let say book) and i want my mom to buy it for me but she says she dont have a money for that and im starting to get angry. And later on I ask myself do i really need that thing? after i read that what should i do with it? it will stock on my room.. so ask yourself too maybe you could spend that money for a important things
than a book... (just a piece of advice i didn't say that book is not really important) okay? the decision is still yours..
Just remember even how worst our parents they are still our parents just respect and love them okay?

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bunnyfuzzyness wrote:
you're welcome Smile You need to be careful of people on the internet,but there are good people out there. You have to remember a lot of it comes from the way that he was raised himself or sometimes his own insecurities.Just remember to respect him and to grow up and be the woman to want to be ok

~hugs to you~


I am a boy (You don't need to say I am Sorry, cause many misplace me with a girl, I think that it is my care a lot behavior.

TipPy wrote:
I can understand you but we must not hate our parents because of them we are born in this wonderful world. Sometimes my mom is like that sometimes my father too even if they are like that I still respect them. Even if they are wrong you could see a lesson behind from that mistake.
And regarding with your book he let you buy a one book (for me its enough atleast i have one book). Even he won't let you buy a book its okay also because maybe he dont have money to buy your book or he will spend it to your family needs.If you really like that book try to save money the book will stay there for you to buy him. Sometimes i really want something (let say book) and i want my mom to buy it for me but she says she dont have a money for that and im starting to get angry. And later on I ask myself do i really need that thing? after i read that what should i do with it? it will stock on my room.. so ask yourself too maybe you could spend that money for a important things
than a book... (just a piece of advice i didn't say that book is not really important) okay? the decision is still yours..
Just remember even how worst our parents they are still our parents just respect and love them okay?

The problem is that it is my Pocket Money( I think that is the word in English), But he says that I must waste it for something smarter and it will be harder cause I LOVE shopping.

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yeah thats what im talking about you ask your self do you really need that book? what are you gonna do with that book after that? for me im agree with your father maybe you could spend it in a smarter way and you could learn to spend your money wisely. If you really want that book just explain to him why you want to buy it. try to explain it in a nice way...
Smile
sorry im not really good in advising but i can relate to you sometimes i want something and my mom wont let me buy it. i will not try to talk my mother which is really wrong. Even she against with it i still buy it but what happened when i need to buy something really important i cant buy it anymore because i already spend it with things that are not really important .And I realize that she was right. I must to spend money wisely because life today is not easy.

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Tromo, like others have said, there are times when all of us don't get along with our parents. It's important to still respect their wishes. You may not understand now hun, but being a parent myself I now realize that even though parents aren't always right what parents say and do is only because they love you and want the best for you. A lot of things I disagreed with I know understand why they did what they did. I was raised by my grandparents, so their rules were very old fashioned. I now have very strong morals and values, and I respect them so much more.

I'm sure your father isn't trying to punish you, he is just trying to help teach you things that he would like you know. Every person has their own values, beliefs, and morals, and I believe he is just trying to raise you how he feels is right. I'm not saying that I know what he is doing is wrong or right, I'm just saying in his eyes I'm sure your best interest is what he is thinking about.

Here are some suggestions... Have you thought about getting a small after school job for extra spending money? When I was your age I delivered papers (not sure if you can do that where you live). Also with the books, do you have a used book store, or a library where you can borrow or buy the books you want for less money? Maybe offer to do chores around the house to earn more money. Maybe for Christmas you can ask for the books? With your homework hun, if you are struggling maybe you can ask a teacher after class to help you with things you don't understand or are having troubles with.

Hope this helps a little, I can't say I completely understand what you are going through. Everything we go through is different.

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I'm gonna come at this from a parents view hun, so sorry if it upsets you.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. No matter how much you love your child, it doesnt mean that they can do what ever they want when they want.
Part of a parents love is teaching your child values they must learn in life.

This includes not always getting what you want when you want it.
There will always be books or games or something that you want, but it doesnt mean that you should or can get it straight away. You have the book you wanted, just because there are another 5 books you want...tough...save for them, prove how much you want them and maybe your Dad will see this...In my house I have a saying. I want doesnt get!

As for your homework, I agree with your Dad, your Mum cannot do it with you all the time. Sometimes you need to try and figure things out for yourself, your Mum is not with you in school is she?

I know how hard it is but majority of time parents do know what is best for you, so you will have to trust your Dad and listen to him. Hopefully one day you will appreciate that all he is doing, is doing his job as a Dad the best he can.

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myladyyawo wrote:

Have you thought about getting a small after school job for extra spending money? When I was your age I delivered papers (not sure if you can do that where you live).


you can't Sad my country and his country were the same country before, so everthing is about the same Smile

lea75 wrote:
your Mum cannot do it with you all the time

he has to do it alone, but she can help him with something he doesn't get

i tottaly get you tromo..
i want to buy a new cellphone, so i save up my money because my old one is working and he doesn't want me to buy it
and then i ask him to give me some money for the movies, or a book, but he says "i gave you your pocket money". it's just something you can't change..
what you can do...
take a half of your pocket money and put it in your piggy bank, and spend the other half on something you want. if you do that a few times, you might save up for what you want Smile

and about him beeing bossy...
try talking to your mom, maybe she'll understand you

i hope you two work it out
big hugs

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Sometimes if your parents help you too much you become reliant on them and dont learn to do things for yourself

And I'm sorry but if you have had your pocket money then you shouldnt be asking for more money for the cinema or anything else. Are you going to do that when you are older? If you spend all your wages are you going to go and ask your boss for more money?

I know I seem really horrible, but there are things you have to get used to in life, and not getting your own way is one of them

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I think issues with parents are always going to come about, and while they are not easy for kids today to contend with. Most parents who are really strict do love their kids and have their best interests at heart. Your dad sounds like one of those kinds of parents. It doesn't mean he is perfect, but it does mean that he is human.

No, I'm not a parent, but I do know how it was growing up, and how I couldn't do the things my friends did because I didn't have the money either. After I grew up, I realized how worrisome the real world could be. The only suggestion that I could offer is to sit down and talk rationally with your dad. Try and see what his points and feelings are and let him know what yours are.

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Guest Guest
I am a parent of a 17 year old and 20 year old. It can be the hardest job in the world. Just remember that if you give him respect he will likely listen. Dont yell or slam door etc. Ask him if you can sit with him and talk and tell him your worries. Let him know that you two may sometimes disagree but you will always love and respect him. Ask him what he thinks a good compromise and solution would be and ask him if you can please give some of your ideas too. Maybe you two can meet half way. He is more likely to listen to what you have to say if you are calm and respectful. Maybe he has a very good reason for the book rules etc. and can explain them to you.
It is really hard growing up. you are at a hard age with tons of different emotions and also gaining independence. That is hard for you but probably also hard for your parents too. Hang in there. It gets better. I really was tough on my mother growing up at times. Now that I am a mom, I really understand why she did things the way she did. Hugs and prayers to you. Best of luck!

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You say...

'The problem is that it is my Pocket Money( I think that is the word in
English), But he says that I must waste it for something smarter and it
will be harder cause I LOVE shopping.'

The key words being 'I must waste it for something smarter'. Then he should let you buy books. Alot of people reading books are more smarter then people who dont. You can find alot from books.

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The thing is he doesn't trust 99% people on the Internet and Trusts Nobody From UAE and USA, and he will punish me If I get real mail form Someone that he doesn't know in True Life. But thanks much for the Offer.[/quote]

I know parents can be annoying sometimes, and I understand what you're going through, but I must say that I agree with your father on this one. You shouldn't always trust people you meet on the internet.

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bleky22 wrote:
The thing is he doesn't trust 99% people on the Internet and Trusts Nobody From UAE and USA, and he will punish me If I get real mail form Someone that he doesn't know in True Life. But thanks much for the Offer.


hi dear! can u please fix your facebook link as yours not working..see full instructions HERE, thanks!!

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Hi Luka,

A little time has passed since you first posted this. I want to add something though. I agree that it can be very difficult to be different from your parents. When I was a teen, I used to tell my parents, "You don't understand me." They thought it was a joke and would tease me, but I'm almost 30 now, and I have turned out to be a very different kind of adult than they are. I don't have the same political beliefs, or relgion. I don't like the same movies, or eat the same kind of food. We truly are very different. For instance, I think it is okay to cry when you are sad because it is just your heart hurting, but my parents think it is bad to cry because they say you are only feeling sorry for yourself and are not helping anything by crying. As someone from a slightly similar situation, there is good news and bad news for you. The good news is that being a child in your parents home is only a small portion of your life. A much bigger percentage will be up to you to determine. Being an adult can be wonderful. You can choose not to live with people who yell at you or put you down, for instance. The bad news is, if you are like me at all, then you will always love your parents deep down and you can never be 100% happy if they don't tell you that they love you. This can hurt. The thing that helps me is to try to love my parents anways. I try to recognize any small good thing that I can so that I can compliment them on it. This helps us get along better. Unfortunately, although it often works to have rational discussions as many people on here suggest, there are some instances where it will not work. If it does not work to explain yourself calmly and honestly and you are punished for speaking your mind, then be patient and remember that someday you will be an adult, and stay strong in your heart and your mind.

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I'm close to my dad and not close to my mum. It sound's like he only want's what's best for you but doesn't know how to go about it. Your extremely lucky though because I don't get money at all. If I want money I have to get a job or use christmas or birthday money Sad Have you talked to your dad? And about the book, near where your living aren't there any libraries? I'm from the uk and at our local library you can borrow upto 12 book's at a time and they alway's get new book's in which is great congratulations

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