Emotionally abusive husband

[Sirianta 0]

Hey guys, it's been a long time since i've posted anything on this website. I used to post a dream nearly every day. I used to be so close to God, but I dont' know how I got so distant from Him nowadays. I guess it's my own fault, 'cause God will never leave my side, that I know. I'm trying my best and working on it and I need God now more that ever in my life.

The issue I'm having is my husband. I don't even know where to begin and I don't want this post to be toooo long. I'm in an emotional abusive marriage and I can not tell you guys in words how this is affecting me. I feel depressed most of the time, I just can't handle feeling like this anymore. I'm so scared to say the wrong things at home or do anything wrong, because of his outbursts!! And most of the time it is small little stuff that will make him explode, like for instance if a medicine bottle leaked in the cupboard or something like that. And it is always me and the childrens fault. He can't do anything wrong. I on the other hand am very soft emotionally and am really struggling under his abusive ways. If he did something wrong I would just leave it. Even when he comes home at 2 in the morning after drinking with his friends I don't even go at him. I just keep quiet, because I hate conflict. Maybe that is wrong of me, I don't know.

He uses the ugliest swear words you can immagine, even uses the Lord's name in vain and what is most bothersome about this is that he uses them in front of our two beautifull children (Megan 3 years and Craigen nearly 5). As I'm writing this I just want to burst out crying, 'cause I can not stand the fact that my children should go through this. He constantly screams at me and them, and talk to us as if we're beneath him. He drinks a lot with his friends, so most of the time I'm at home alone with the kids. Why should my kids go through this? They don't deserve this at all.

I've been praying for him for over 7 years and it just keeps getting worse. I really hoped that God would answer my prayers and get him on the right path before this would start affecting the children, but I can already see that it is affecting them. It's not fair that the children will be affected by this for the rest of their lifes. He is suppose to set an example. Im so scared that my little boy is going to turn out just like him. He is already yelling at me just like his dad.

He also won't let me go to my choice of church. He is brought up in a very traditional church that does't believe in the gifts of the Holy Spirit and doesn't practice the gifts. I was also brought up in such a church but a few years ago I went on a church camp and learned about the other side which I never knew. There I really met Jesus and came to love Him dearly. He once said that if I go to that church again he would leave me. He will not let me bring up our kids in such a church. This makes me so sad, because now I don't go to church anymore for a few years now AND I REALLY MISS THE FELLOWSHIP . I am so lonely!

Sometimes it feels like the only time he is nice to me is when he wants to sleep with me. I hate it!! I nearly don't have any respect for him anymore. I can not help it.

I know he loves the kids very much, sometimes I'm not sure if he really loves me or care for me anymore. I'm very confused. He is not always bad, he has a good side to him as well, but most of the time he is really very emotionally abusive. I do love him, but sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better for the kids and myself to be removed from this situation. Because I'm so depressed I sometimes go off on the kids as well, which isn't necessary. This thought just brings tears to my eyes.

Please help, even if you can just pray for me. I know I shouldn't loose hope in God, but it isn't easy when you've prayed for soooooooooo many years and it just gets worse.

Thank you

[Cholette 0]

So sorry Siranta of what you are going through...

Why are you still there?

[Sirianta 0]

Hey Cholette, I'm still here because I know God doesn't approve of divorce. I'm also holding on because I don't know how the children would cope without a dad. I guess I'm still hoping that God will answer my prayers and safe my husband and I still love him. I really don't know what to do. I just want to please God and don't want to make the wrong decission.

Thanks Cholette

[Cholette 0]

Let me say this to you Sirianta. God doesn't like divorce, but even MORE than that, He doesn't like abuse. I think the teaching on divorce has been out of context. Do you think the God of ALL LOVE would want you and your children to remain in a situation all because he doesn't want you to "divorce"? We are talking about the AGAPE love of God...which means it's unconditional...which means he will love you no matter what.

I have news for you...God is already pleased with you. It's not about what you "DO"...it's about who you "ARE". He designed you for HIS liking and frowns upon those who mis-handle his precious one. You don't have to be in the house with an abusive man for God to hear your prayers. As we all know, there is no distance in prayer.

I'm not here to tell you to leave your husband because I can't do that nor do I have that right...but what I can do is tell you who you are and how much God loves you and your little ones. God IS NOT pleased with how you three are being treated. God isn't mad at you because you are still there, just like he won't be mad at you if you leave. His love is UNCONDITIONAL...it can't be earned and there is NOTHING you can do to stop it.

My prayers are for you today because this breaks my heart. My prayers are for your children because NO CHILD deserves to be subjected to such violence. This is no longer about you or your husband, it's about the children. Protect their hearts.

Do you have a Pastor or minister you can speak to?

[Virtuous 0]

Sirianta wrote:

Hey Cholette, I'm still here because I know God doesn't approve of divorce. I'm also holding on because I don't know how the children would cope without a dad. I guess I'm still hoping that God will answer my prayers and safe my husband and I still love him. I really don't know what to do. I just want to please God and don't want to make the wrong decission.

Thanks Cholette

My mom felt the same way as you but she FINALLY divorced my dad the year I graduated. I had two other sisters right behind me and my little sister had just been born. Over 20+ years my mom prayed and believed God to save my dad. He didn't get saved until a year after they divorced.

You don't have to be in the house with an abusive man for God to hear your prayers.

Being raised in a home just as you described and probably worse, I can tell you first hand it’s not good for your children. I resented my mom for a long time for not leaving my dad more than I resented him for acting a fool. I felt like she should’ve gotten us out of there.

This breaks my heart. Your kids don’t deserve this and neither do. you.

I wouldn't dare tell you to divorce your husband but I will boldly tell you to really consider getting your children out of there...

[lola21st 2]

Hi Siranta, beautiful daughter of the Most High God!

As I was reading your post, I thought it was a passage out of my life diary because I was once where you are now. And I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be this way, this is not what God had in mind when He designed the marriage covenant.

Like you, I don't have time to go into the real details right now but can I make some suggestions? These helped me in my situation and I pray they bless you as you move through yours.

- The first thing I needed to do was to be reminded of who I am in Christ and Whose I am so I began to read the Bible. (While he didn't prevent me from going to church, he ridiculed me for going.) This provided me with healing from the hurt that was being inflicted on me by my then husband. Over time his abuse had no impact on me because I came to realize that these words were more a reflection of him than they were a reflection of me - I simply stopped receiving his words and recognized them for what they were. And over time, I was built up and strengthened enough to realize that I had more value than I was giving myself credit for and was worthy of better treatment than what my husband was offering me. Meaning that I could now stand up for myself and let him know that his behavior had become unacceptable and would have to change and mean it when I say it.

Encouraging Scriptures - Psalm 139, Isaiah 40:31-33, Isaiah 54 - 55, Isaiah 58:11, Isaiah 61, Luke 12:6-7, and there are more…I’m also including a website that I love and go back to when I need a refresh, here it is - http://www.father.weebly.com/

- While you can’t go to church, you can bring church to you. You may already be aware of this but many ministries provide free live streams or recordings of their services from their websites so that people can listen to them online. One website that I’m aware of that houses recordings of several ministries is www.oneplace.com, I’m sure there are others. Again, while you can’t get to church, you can still connect with God and fellowship with Him and grow in Him.

- Pray, pray, pray. I’m sure you’re doing this already….don’t stop. Pray for yourself, pray for your husband, pray for your marriage.

- Now is the tough one…your husband will not change until he realizes that there will be consequences to his behavior. It is not for me to tell you what to do regarding your marriage but what I can tell you is that as has been stated before, this is not what God intended for marriage and you’re right, your kids deserve so much better – for me, it’s this issue that finally drove me into action, I couldn’t bear the thought of my son having to experience and witness what I was experiencing. I was intent on preventing this dysfunction from passing onto another generation.
From what I’ve seen in these cases (and it was the case for me as well), you may need to live separately from him while these issues are dealt with. In some cases, it was a much needed wake up call for the husband and the marriage survived and transformed, in other cases (like mine), the appropriate choice under the circumstances was divorce. You are the one who must decide but I would strongly urge you to seek Christian counseling - if he’s willing to join you that would be ideal but please go on your own even if he’s unwilling. Not sure how these services work from an insurance standpoint or whether you’d have to pay out of pocket expenses for these services. If there are any local social services that deal with domestic abuse, you may want to seek them out. There is a Christian counseling ministry website called www.newlife.com which I would advise you to check out. They have a counseling referral service (not sure it’s global) on the site as well as archives of past radio shows which cover a plethora of topics – the show is a call in show where people call in with questions regarding issues in their lives and Steve Arterburn as well as other Christian therapists provide answers, suggestions, and prayer. Look through and listen to the archives, you may see questions that are similar to things you would love to ask and receive indirect advice.

My prayer is that you are healed and equipped to receive God’s wisdom and that He opens doors that allow you to connect with others locally who can help you both spiritually and in the physical in Jesus’ name. Please feel free to PM me at any time, ok?

[Dove-Solutions 0]

i so agee with both comments

[Sirianta 0]

Hey guys, thank you sooooooooooooo much for all of your advise and help. I can not tell you how much this means to me. I thank God for a website like this for someone like me who don't have much christian support where I live, because of my circumstances.

Thank you Jesus for all of the replies!! It really gave me more strenghth and answered a lot of my questions.

I wish there was a way I could show you how much I appreciate your replies.

(((HUGS)))
Sirianta

[Cholette 0]

Awww Siranta...

I think I can speak for all of us...keep you and the children safe...that's how you can thank us!

[lola21st 2]

Yes, please do what you must do to keep you and especially the children safe!

[Virtuous 0]

[Dove-Solutions 0]

I am praying praying and praying. Thanking my Lord and Savior for all things going well and that the blood of Jesus is covering all of you right now.

I wanted to respond yesterday but was at work and could only take a brief moment to respond. I have so been where you are and for that I can only say that but by the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I am here to tell the story.

My whole life is a seriers of stories. It started at age 5 for me and did not end until the age of 38. Beaten and abused and raped by just about every man I ever knew. I wanted to give up so much and God would just keep me hanging on. You see I was fortunate in this. I knew I needed Jesus when I was 9. I knew there was no way to make it without Him. I have been looking up since then. Although I know it is difficult to hear at the moment; Jesus will never give us more than we can handle. I was amazed myself at what I could handle at such a young age and well into my adulthood. The Lord blessed me with the ability to love people even when there were mean and ugly toward me. He showed me that love conquers every fear, worry, beating, abuse, rape, lack of self confidence to mention a few and would take me and mold me and shape me to a new creature in Him.

So my dear I am praying for your stength and courage. I am praying for your well being and for your faith in Jesus. I am praying that the Lord bring His peace on you and help you through this time in your life. You are so loved by Him....He cares for you so much. If you can hold on to the fact that he will never leave you or forsake you, you will be fine. Trust in Him to help you with your decission and it will all happen exactly as it is suppose to.



Much love and support,

Connie

[Cholette 0]

WOW Connie!! Praise God for His faithfulness!!

[Sirianta 0]

Connie, that so much sounds like me as well. I was molested by a number of people since I was 5 years old. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 9 years old. Never really had a relationship with my dad. This is my second marriage, was married before. Luckily I had no children with my previous husband and I had the same issues in my previous marriage like I'm having now. My first pregnancy with my current husband ended in a miscarriage, which devastated me. And about two years back my dad commited suicide.

I know that I went through a lot, but God will use me one day to help other woman who went through the same I went through.

Thanks for all your support and prayers guys. Love you dearly!

xxx
S

I once got prophetic Word

[Deborah 0]

Sirianta,
I had two very talented, smart, beautiful sisters who were in abusive marriages. I say "had" because their husbands killed them. Abusive people are bullies. They don't understand anything but power and won't respect you if you cower. I pray for you right now that you'll have the wisdom to do what you need to do in this marriage. Please don't wait like my sisters did. You are a child of the MOST HIGH GOD!!!This abuse is NOT your fault, you do not deserve it. --Deborah

[Sirianta 0]

Thank you Deborah, I really appreciate your feedback and I'm amazed at how many woman went through or are going through the same as me. It really helps talking to you guys and all the advise.

XXX
Sirianta

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Sirianta wrote:

Connie, that so much sounds like me as well. I was molested by a number of people since I was 5 years old. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 9 years old. Never really had a relationship with my dad. This is my second marriage, was married before. Luckily I had no children with my previous husband and I had the same issues in my previous marriage like I'm having now. My first pregnancy with my current husband ended in a miscarriage, which devastated me. And about two years back my dad commited suicide.

I know that I went through a lot, but God will use me one day to help other woman who went through the same I went through.

Thanks for all your support and prayers guys. Love you dearly!

xxx
S

I once got prophetic Word

I wish I had a dime for everytime I hear woman tell me this story. Sadly it is all to common. Many times I weap inside for them. This is the calling God has given me. To tell woman they are not alone. That the act of the other person toward them is the ultimate act of disobedients toward God because of their disrespect for his creation is implorable. It is abhored by the Father. He is our husband. He gave me this verse a few years ago to hang on to when I could bear no more......I am a work in progress.....still overcoming in the name of Jesus......Go to Isaiah54:4-17. (you know it is funny because my Bible just opens there LOL)

4) Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5) For your Maker is your husband the Lord Almighty is his name, the Holy One of Israel is your Redemer; He is called the God of all the earth.
6) The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit a wife who married young, only to be rejected, "says your God."
7) For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compasion I will bring you back.
8) " In a surge of anger, I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you", says the Lord your Redeemer.
9) "To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again.
10) Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, " says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
11) O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will build you with stones of turquoise, your foundations with sapphires.
12) I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones.
13) All your sons will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children's peace.
14) In righteousness you will be established: Tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear. Terror will be far removed; it will not come near you.
15) If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing; whoever attacks you will surrender to you.
16) See, it is I who created the blacksmith who fans the coals into flame and forges a weapon fit for its work and it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc;
17) No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me, declares the Lord.


This is the most precious scripture to me. It is His promise to me. Many times I read it over and over just to remind me of his compassion and love for me. I thought it may help you when you feel burdened. I pray it does. May his Love and Peace be poured over you.

Love in Jesus,

Connie

[Sirianta 0]

Connie this is the most beautiful scripture I've ever read!! Thank you so much! I'm gonna hold on to this forever. This meant so much to me and once again I realise just how much God loves me. It amazes me how much you guys really care for people and how much time you put in to help people who have issues in their lives. May God bless all of you for helping and caring.

Love you guys!!

Sirianta

[Deborah 0]

Here's more scripture: Hosea 2:16 and 19-20
And it shall be in that day, says the Lord, that you will call Me 'My Husband' and no longer call me 'My Master'

I will betroth you to Me forever
Yes, I will betroth you to Me
In righteousness and justice,
In lovingkindness and mercy;
I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness
and you shall know the Lord.

These are wedding vows used in Jewish weddings. God as Husband will take you as His bride forever in righteousness (he'll treat you right) and mercy (that's His steadfast covenant love) and best of all, He'll be so close to you that you will know Him. Blessings, my dear. Hope this helps.--Deborah

[Sirianta 0]

Again Deborah, thank you so much!! I am so blessed with all of your advise and scriptures. I thank God for you girls!!

Be blessed, love ya xxx

[lola21st 2]

Amen, Connie - that's the same scripture I stood on during my passage out of my situation!

[Dove-Solutions 0]

lola21st wrote:

Amen, Connie - that's the same scripture I stood on during my passage out of my situation!

. Yep that is so powerful to me as well.

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Siriata,

I love when He confirms through his word. God bless you and keep you.

Love in Jesus,

Connie

[Delightful soul 0]

I just wanted to add something here.........

For offenders;

Physical abuse = jail sentence

Sexual abuse= jail sentence (increasingly)

Mental/emotional abuse=????????????

Pretty simple equations here and yet such a complex non-answer for the last type of abuse........

One day society will get it right........

WE are more than physical beings but rather are triune spirit, soul and body....how come some people treat emotional abuse so candidly?

It's really hard to define- this is why.......

Put it this way........replace the word emotional with sexual or physical and what would your post read and how would society react???More importantly, how would YOU react??? This is important cause unfortunatley you in this situation...are the only authority that can actively protect your children from such pain caused, so I feel you need to look at your situation with wisdom and resonsibility for it is not just you being abused here.


Blessings sister.........

[Hiskid 0]

Praying for you and your kids.
You dont deserve this.
God has a way out!

[gamma3 0]

Hi,
I am new here. I am in the process of a divorce from an emotionally abusive situation. I believe that it is true God hates divorce however there has to be a marriage for there to be a divorce. If a man is abusive and unhealthy to the point that he mistreats, curses, hits, neglects, accuses falsely, the woman he is sleeping with I know that it is not a marriage but a situation. I do believe that the parameters for marriage is that the two become one and the woman is loved like Jesus loves the church and a woman desires her husband. There is forsaking others and cleaving. Abuse makes none of that possible. That's just what I have found out. As a child of an abusive childhood, it takes years to undo the messages that you get about your worth when an abuser is in a position of power and is supported as being worth more than you because that's who gets all the prayer and attention. When they curse the God everyone is praying to for help it gets very painful and distorting.
I am so grateful to find a place to look up information about my dreams. I have been seeing visions that have come to pass since I was 5. God has been so faithful and now as I am being delivered from the soul ties and having my eyes opened to truth I am still being warned and instructed. I stopped trusting while I was entangled with my abuser. 8 years.

[Cholette 0]

gamma3 wrote:

Hi,
I am new here. I am in the process of a divorce from an emotionally abusive situation. I believe that it is true God hates divorce however there has to be a marriage for there to be a divorce. If a man is abusive and unhealthy to the point that he mistreats, curses, hits, neglects, accuses falsely, the woman he is sleeping with I know that it is not a marriage but a situation. I do believe that the parameters for marriage is that the two become one and the woman is loved like Jesus loves the church and a woman desires her husband. There is forsaking others and cleaving. Abuse makes none of that possible. That's just what I have found out. As a child of an abusive childhood, it takes years to undo the messages that you get about your worth when an abuser is in a position of power and is supported as being worth more than you because that's who gets all the prayer and attention. When they curse the God everyone is praying to for help it gets very painful and distorting.
I am so grateful to find a place to look up information about my dreams. I have been seeing visions that have come to pass since I was 5. God has been so faithful and now as I am being delivered from the soul ties and having my eyes opened to truth I am still being warned and instructed. I stopped trusting while I was entangled with my abuser. 8 years.

You've made some EXCELLENT points here Gamma3. WELCOME TO THE BOARD!!!!!!

[Sirianta 0]

Thanks Gamma3, for your reply and like Cholette said you've made great points here. I've never thought of it this way.

I wish it wasn't so difficult to get out of this situation!! I really love my husband although he doesn't treat us the right way most of the time. And I think it is because I still love him (although I don't have much respect left for him) that makes it so difficult. Also, the children really love him. Like I said, he isn't always bad, but most of the time I'm not happy because of his behaviour.

It feels like I'm going mad. I can't discern between what's right or wrong behaviour from my husband anymore. I don't know how to explain this to you guys. I'll try, I think because this has been going on for so long you get kind of brain washed that it is okay (although deep down I know it's not okay). Sorry you guys, it is very difficult for me to explain this and english isn't my home language, so sometimes it is difficult to express something in english. Like for instance, the drinking with his friends. I don't complain about that to him, because most of the time he has to take out clients. So for him it is a convenient excuse to go out and drink and his boss expect that of him (to take out their clients). I've become so used to this behaviour. Ugh, I feel very confused, really. It sometimes really feels as if I'm loosing my mind, because I don't know what to do.

I'm also scared that he might loose it when I tell him I want a divorce. He once told me that if I want to leave him, I musn't think that I will take our children with me!! That is a threat. It scares me a bit, because I don't know what he will be capable of doing. Not that he has ever physically hurt me or the children, but you never know in what kind of state that would leave him.

Please just pray for me and the children guys. Please pray like myself that God would give me strength to either talk to him to get help, or just strenghth to get out.

I have told him a few times before that he needs help and he just laughs it off or once told me to .... off (sorry for this). Maybe if I tell him that I'm going to leave him if he won't get help he'll take it more seriously, I don't know. I wish I had a stronger personality. I always feel sorry for people no matter what they've done to me. I'm always the one who forgives very easily no matter what the situation is and in this situation my personality isn't helping me or my children very much, it is a burden to me. I don't know what to do.

I just once again want to thank you guys. With all your words I am seeing a little light and understant better that I don't have to stay in this situation, I just wish I was a stronger person.

BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL XXX
Sirianta

[Sirianta 0]

Last night God reminded me of this dream I had a while back. I posted the dream under "Dreams and Visions to be interpreted" a while back. What is striking to me is that the first house in the dream is my childhood home (me, my brother and mother stayed in that house) and the second part of the dream where me, my little girl and my husbands boss' little girl is driving around also got my attention, because the house that we are living in now is in the street that I dreamt of. In the dream it was raining while I was driving around and IRL when me and my two children went to look at this house it was also raining. I dreamt of our new house quite a while back and we moved to our house 5 months back. Since we moved to that house things really got rough with my husband. Here is the dream:

I had a very strange dream. I dreamt that we were in our new house (IRL we are looking for a new house to move into). It was really beautifull and spacious with a beautifull garden. I felt so happy and and peace there.

The first night in the house I went to the front door to lock it. I remember the door - it was a beautifull wooden and glass door which really caught my attention. There was colour in the door as well. All of a sudden a frog (not very big about medium size) came jumping into the house underneath the door. I was so scared 'cause IRL I have a huge fear of frogs! When this frog came in I jumped into the air - very high. I was surprised at the ability of how high I could jump. I had my back against the wall and with my feet against a wooden rack infront of me. The frog jumped throughout the living room. I heard it making sss sounds and becoming violent as if it knew it wasn't welcome in the house. I called my husband to come and catch it and take it out. My husband came and as he bent down to take the frog I could see it is a poisonous frog. I also thought to myself that I just hope that my hubby don't tease me with this frog 'cause I have such a fear for frogs. Then what I thought happened! He took the frog and pressed it against my face of all places! I felt like a little girl again, so scared. He told me that this was the only way I would get over my fear. It was horrible! Then my hubby took out the frog and went to a place next door. There he threw the frog to another creature that looked like a tortoise and some furry animal combined. The creature looked cute and cuddly, but I knew it was hostile and dangerous.

Then we were in the house again and when we wanted to go to bed the kids woke up. They were wide awake and wouldn't go back to sleep. I came into the bathroom and saw my two kids and friends of ours (my husbands boss) daughter in the bath with lots of foam just having fun.

I looked at a picture of 3 people, two men and one lady. They were all between the ages of about 55 and 60. I got the impression that they were very wise people and they had walked a long way with the Lord. 3 Light beams were shining from heaven onto each persons head. When I looked closer I could see that they were in conversation. I saw that one of the light beams went into the man on the rights ear. He heard from the Lord (that is what the light beam was) and then He would say to the other two what God had said. The Holy Spirit was present in this photo.

Then all of a sudden I was driving in my car with my baby girl and our friends daughter. My little boy was with my husband at home. It was still night time. It was as if we haven't moved into the new house yet and was still staying in our current house. I wanted to go and have a look if this light beam might be shining on our new house. I looked at the two kids and they were asleep. I came to a crossing and I had to turn to the right to get to the new house. When I was in this street there was total darkness around me. The lights of my car wasn't working anymore!! I saw 3 cats running across the street in front of me. I couldn't see anything. I was so scared to make an accident. I cannot explain the fear that was inside of me. I couldn't see where I was going. I tried switching the lights on and off, but couldn't get it to work again. In front of the new house I turned the car around (like in the movies with high speed). I was facing the way I came and still the lights weren't working! I woke up from the dream but was so troubled about all of this that I had to get up just to relax.

This really felt like a warning dream. But for what? I don't understand that I wanted to see if the light beam (Holy Spirit) was present at the new house and when I got there I was in total darkness. I have walked with Jesus for quite a while now although my husband isn't as close to God, I'm still praying for him every day. I'm confused.

Blessings
xxx.

[Delightful soul 0]

[quote] i'll USE CAPITALS SO YOU KNOW IT'S ME.....D/SI had a very strange dream. I dreamt that we were in our new house (IRL we are looking for a new house to move into). It was really beautifull and spacious with a beautifull garden. I felt so happy and and peace there.

The first night in the house I went to the front door to lock it.TRYING TO PROTECT YOURSELF AND FAMILY I remember the door - it was a beautifull wooden and glass door which really caught my attention. There was colour in the door as well. All of a sudden a frog (not very big about medium size) came jumping into the house underneath the door. I was so scared 'cause IRL I have a huge fear of frogs!FROGS WERE PART OF THE PLAGUE IN THE BIBLE WHEN GOD TOLD MOSES TO TELL EGYPT TO 'LET MY PEOPLE GO' When this frog came in I jumped into the air - very high. I was surprised at the ability of how high I could jump. I had my back against the wall and with my feet against a wooden rack infront of me. The frog jumped throughout the living room.THIS IS YOUR SPACE...A FROG SHOULD NOT BE HERE..... I heard it making sss sounds and becoming violent as if it knew it wasn't welcome in the house. I called my husband to come and catch it and take it out. My husband came and as he bent down to take the frog I could see it is a poisonous frog. I also thought to myself that I just hope that my hubby don't tease me with this frog 'cause I have such a fear for frogs. Then what I thought happened!YOUR FEARS HAVE COME TO PASS He took the frog and pressed it against my face of all places!HE'S NOT BACKWARDS IN COMING FORWARDS...THAT IS HE IS SCARING YOU TO YOUR FACE... I felt like a little girl again, so scared. He told me that this was the only way I would get over my fear.PERHAPS HE IS MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE A KID WHERE YOU DON'T HAVE MANY CHOICES....AND YOU ARE FEELING LIKE A LITTLE FRIGHTENED CHILD.... It was horrible! Then my hubby took out the frog and went to a place next door. There he threw the frog to another creature that looked like a tortoise and some furry animal combined. The creature looked cute and cuddly, but I knew it was hostile and dangerous.SOMETHING LOOKS HARMLESS BUT YOU KNOW IT IS NOT...

Then we were in the house again and when we wanted to go to bed the kids woke THE KIDS ARE AWARE AND IT IS DISTURBING THEIR PEACE...SLEEP PERHAPS? up. They were wide awake and wouldn't go back to sleep. I came into the bathroom and saw my two kids and friends of ours (my husbands boss) daughter in the bath with lots of foam just having fun. INNOCENCE AND JOY KIDS BRING

I looked at a picture of 3 people, two men and one lady.STRENGTH AND INTUITION.....3 ( please look THIS UP ON WEBSITE: http://www.biblestudy.org/bibleref/meaning-of-numbers-in-bible/3.html Three, therefore, stands for that which is solid, real, substantial, complete, and entire. )

They were all between the ages of about 55 and 60. AGED AND WISE......I got the impression that they were very wise people and they had walked a long way with the Lord. 3 Light beams were shining from heaven onto each persons head. PEACE LIKE WHEN THE DOVE WAS SEEN BY JOHN THE BAPTIST OVER JESUS WHEN IT DESCENDED LIKE A DOVE - THE HOLY SPIRIT....When I looked closer I could see that they were in conversation. I saw that one of the light beams went into the man on the rights ear. He heard from the Lord (that is what the light beam was) and then He would say to the other two what God had said. The Holy Spirit was present in this photo.
THE LIGHT IS THERE TO SHINE IN THE DARKNESS........THE HOLYSPIRIT WANTS TO SHINE THE LIGHT ON YOUR SITUATION/DREAM....
Then all of a sudden I was driving in my car THE CONTROL IN YOUR LIFE...with my baby girl and our friends daughter. My little boy was with my husband at home. It was still night time. YOU FEEL COMPLETLEY IN THE DARK......NOT KNOWING....It was as if we haven't moved into the new house yet and was still staying in our current house. I wanted to go and have a look if this light beam might be shining on our new house. I looked at the two kids and they were asleep. I came to a crossing and I had to turn to the right to get to the new house. When I was in this street there was total darkness around me. The lights of my car wasn't working anymore!! THE LIGHTS IN THE PICTURE MEAN HOLY SPIRIT, SEEK GOD FOR WHAT THE LIGHT OR LACK OF IT MEANS........I saw 3 THE NUMBER 3 KEEPS RECURRING....TAKE NOTE OF THE MEANING OF 3 FROM WEBSITE ABOVE....cats running across the street in front of me. I couldn't see anything. I was so scared to make an accident.DO YOU FEEL SCARED TO MAKE ACCIDENTS, MISTAKES IN REAL LIFE...DO YOU FEEL IN THE DARK WHERE THE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE IS CONCERNED? I cannot explain the fear that was inside of me. I couldn't see where I was going. I tried switching the lights on and off, but couldn't get it to work againYOUR ATTEMPTS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE IN YOUR NEW HOME WORK PERHAPS?. In front of the new house I turned the car around (like in the movies with high speed). I was facing the way I came and still the lights weren't working! YOU ARE WANTING TO TURN AWAY OUT OF THIS SITUATION/STREET BUT YOU NEED THE ILLUMINATION OF THE HOLY SPIRIT TO NAVIAGATE YOUR WAY OUT...I woke up from the dream but was so troubled about all of this that I had to get up just to relax.

This really felt like a warning dream. I AGREE.......But for what? I don't understand that I wanted to see if the light beam (Holy Spirit) was present at the new house and when I got there I was in total darkness. I have walked with Jesus for quite a while now although my husband isn't as close to God, I'm still praying for him every day. I'm confused.

Blessings
xxx.

IT'S REALLY HARD HAVING READ YOUR ABOVE COMMENTS BEFORE THE DREAM ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND THE TROUBLES YOU FEEL YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY NOT BE BIASED IN THE DREAM BUT I DEFINATELY FEEL IT IS A WARNING DREAM FOR YOU AND A GUIDE TO HELP YOU NAVIGATE YOUR WAY OUT OF THE FEAR AND DARKNESS YOU ARE FEELING IN THIS SITUATION......THE DARKNESS I WOULD SAY IS MORE OF A NOT KNOWING HOW TO NAVIGATE YOUR WAY OUT OF THE TROUBLE YOU ARE FEELING.......


I HOPE THIS RESONATES WITH YOU .....if not please disregard.........blessings.......[quote]

[Sirianta 0]

Hey DS, thanks for you interp of the dream. I think you are very much correct about a lot of stuff. The frog part where my husband takes the frog and feed it to the other evil creature may also mean that satan feeds on my fear. Like if you feed something it gets bigger. The more I fear, the worse the situation will get. Don't know, that just came to mind. And like you said the evil creature looking innocent could resemble a situation I'm in that is more dangerous than I believe it to be.

Thanks again for you help

Sirianta

[gamma3 0]

Wow on the response to the dream. I have seen visions in dreams all my life and agree that God will use things to symbolize in order to help us by items we can relate to. I really wish that I could share a dream I had recently with you to hear your view.
About the abusive husband again. I read a book about men who hate women and the women who love them. It opened my eyes to how I had such deep issues from my abuse as a child and how I loved in the face of not being loved back. Like a sacrifice of my self, as if I had no value. Anyway I began to realize my husband was kind to others but not to me. He suffers from issues deep within himself that have to do with his childhood as well and his self hate needs a target. He did not see me as worthless and powerless he worked hard to try to tear me down. I too became brain washed that he was good and I had issues because I wanted something from him. I wanted what he could not give, he hated himself and me for that. When I realized the dynamics of a misogynist, I prayed for God to heal me and deliver me from the power of the lies I had believed. I will pray for the power of the lies to be revealed so that you can begin to see the truth you already are being warned by and comforted by in the wisdom of these wonderful people who respond to you.
Thank you all for allowing me to be here. I really needed someplace to be during this transition in my life.

[Virtuous 0]

gamma3 wrote:

Hi,
I am new here. I am in the process of a divorce from an emotionally abusive situation. I believe that it is true God hates divorce however there has to be a marriage for there to be a divorce. If a man is abusive and unhealthy to the point that he mistreats, curses, hits, neglects, accuses falsely, the woman he is sleeping with I know that it is not a marriage but a situation. I do believe that the parameters for marriage is that the two become one and the woman is loved like Jesus loves the church and a woman desires her husband. There is forsaking others and cleaving. Abuse makes none of that possible. That's just what I have found out. As a child of an abusive childhood, it takes years to undo the messages that you get about your worth when an abuser is in a position of power and is supported as being worth more than you because that's who gets all the prayer and attention. When they curse the God everyone is praying to for help it gets very painful and distorting.
I am so grateful to find a place to look up information about my dreams. I have been seeing visions that have come to pass since I was 5. God has been so faithful and now as I am being delivered from the soul ties and having my eyes opened to truth I am still being warned and instructed. I stopped trusting while I was entangled with my abuser. 8 years.

[Delightful soul 0]

that is cool S...I'm glad I could help out with the dream you had and yes I agree with you that fear once it grows or rather is tolerated and allowed to grow in ones mind, becomes a stronghold and it may look innocent, but is dangerous in that it debilitates us into doing nothing......imagine a war with satan and he was able to scare all the soldiers into being so afraid they just froze.........so much easier than using artilery really which is why he uses fear to bind us.........we need to bind satan and also stand up for righteousness in that if a person uses intimidation, (which is what your hubby did when he threatened you about the kids) he was basically trying to frighten you........if you have to be manipulated and given scare tactics to stay in the marriage you have to ask yourself why your hubby would do that......

I'm in agreeance with all here who have said we cannot tell you what is best, but if you allow wisdom and the holy spirit to guide you out of fear, you will be able to navigate your way out of this nightmare of yours that you feel you are in.......

blessings

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Delightful soul wrote:

that is cool S...I'm glad I could help out with the dream you had and yes I agree with you that fear once it grows or rather is tolerated and allowed to grow in ones mind, becomes a stronghold and it may look innocent, but is dangerous in that it debilitates us into doing nothing......imagine a war with satan and he was able to scare all the soldiers into being so afraid they just froze.........so much easier than using artilery really which is why he uses fear to bind us.........we need to bind satan and also stand up for righteousness in that if a person uses intimidation, (which is what your hubby did when he threatened you about the kids) he was basically trying to frighten you........if you have to be manipulated and given scare tactics to stay in the marriage you have to ask yourself why your hubby would do that......

I'm in agreeance with all here who have said we cannot tell you what is best, but if you allow wisdom and the holy spirit to guide you out of fear, you will be able to navigate your way out of this nightmare of yours that you feel you are in.......

blessings

I absolutely


Love in Jesus,

Connie

[Sirianta 0]

Heya, me again. Guys I'm going to talk to my husband tonight about all of this and tell him that if he doesn't consider getting help I will be forced to leave him. I can not go on another day like this. Today was just too much for me, was crying the whole day and very depressed.

Please just pray for me and tha my husband won't loose it tonight. I hope is will be calm when I speak to him.

Lots a love
Sirianta

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Girl my hubby and I are gonna be for you.

Love in Jesus,

Connie

[Sirianta 0]

Thanks Connie, really appreciate it. I'm so nervous. Don't know what to expect.

HUGS
S

[Delightful soul 0]

I pray you and JEsus be strong in this situation right now, I plead the blood of Jesus over you and your hubby and pray for peace and for an outcome of hope and love and that you would have courage to tell him how you feel.........

word of wisdom; if you have yet to speak to him, tell him how you feel when he does or says or doesn't say..........whatever goes on that you feel unhappy about,,,,,,the big "i feel , when you.........do/say..........." is the best conversation help I have had...........you may have heard this before but thought to mention it..........

Courage sister and wisdom........

[Deborah 0]

[Sirianta 0]

Thank you guys!!

[lola21st 2]

Father, I thank You for Sirianta and pray that You would anoint her and give her a spirit of wisdom and discernment to have this discussion with her husband. May his heart be softened so that he can receive that Sirianta shares with him. Thank You for the hedge of protection that Your angels have formed around Sirianta. Because I know Your love for Sirianta and her husband abounds and I know that you have great plans for both of them, I pray that Your perfect will be done in their marriage and that it be transformed in a way that they know could only have come through You so that You are glorified and greatly praised. In Jesus' name, amen!

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Sirianta,

How did it go with your hubby?

Love in Jesus,


Connie

[Sirianta 0]

Hey guys, first of all thank you so much for each prayer that went up to our Father.

Well, I told him everything that was on my heart and to my surprise he was very calm and understanding. He even admitted that he has anger issues and that he will go to the chemist to get some medication. I told him that I rather think he should go see a doctor who can give him a subscription for something that would really help. He agreed to that.

I am so glad and hope that things will just get better for both of us. It just feels like God doesn't want me to leave him, that God has a plan for our marriage.

THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL THE PRAYERS!!!!

LOTS A HUGS
SIRIANTA

[Delightful soul 0]

awwww isn't God good.........that is lovely.........i pray things continue in peace and that HIs will be done in your marriage.

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Siriata,

I am so glad things went well for you. Feel free to ask for prayer anytime. Praise the Lord for answered prayer.

Love in Jesus,

Connie

[Sirianta 0]

Hi, me again. You guys this is really tough. The last week I could really see that my husband tried his best, but this weekend we had his works' yearend function at a holiday resort. Yesterday my little boy got a little difficult because he was very tired after swimming the whole day and just being bussy like little children are. So my husband lost it completely, he grabbed him and put him over his legs and gave him one huge hit on the behind. Everyone was quiet and it was such an imbarrasing moment in front of all the people. About 3 hours there was still a hand mark on my sons bum. Even my husbands boss told him this morning that it was really not necessary. Then when we came back today while driving in our car my husband realised that he doesn't know where his wallet is. He asked me in an accusing irritated tone where his wallet was and I only said to him "how should I know?", cause I didn't use it. He lost it completely and swore at me again shouting all the way home. I told him that he will not speak like that anymore, I will not tollerate it anymore. He went ballistic!!! He drove like a maniac! The kids wasn't strapped in their seatbelts 'cause we first dropped of friends of ours that just lives around the corner of us. So we didn't strap them again. He drove so wild that my little girl fell backward and hit her head. She had one of those princess crowns on which hurt her haid when she bumped it. She started crying. Then he shouted at me and said that I shouldn't accuse him 'cause she got hurt it's my fault because they are not wearing their seatbelts. Then on purpose he took the following turn like a maniac again and my little girl fell backwards again!!!!! He is crazy! How could he do it a second time on purpose?! Then when we were at our hose he told me"you are gonna get out of the car and I'm gonna take you and" he didn't finish his sentence. Which I know was a threat. He then got out and started to hit the car seat. When he got out my little boy asked me "mommy is daddy naughty?" This broke my heart and after what happened to my little girl and his threat towards me I know I have to leave him. For the first time now I realise that the situation is really getting dangerous. Inside the house he told me that I have to make my decision, that he knows I'm just looking for an excuse to leave him! The whole time he wants to make me the guilty one! I asked him if he will go see the docter at the end of the month when we've got enough money so that he can get medication to calm him like we've discussed and he just ignored me. I feel so down because after our last talk I've told you about I had so much hope. Now all of that is shattered because I will not put the children through this. They have suffered enough and I had enough of his manipulative ugly ways!

Last night I had a dream where I was dropping off my children at school. For some reason I went back to give them another hug and kiss before leaving for work and I was crying. I felt so much love for my children like just a mother could, but in my dream I was very emotional. I searched for my little boy and was scared that I won't be able to find him before school started. Then his teacher came to me and gave me prophetic word saying: that God is going to bless me so much. I was crying a lot, but felt happy because of the word she gave me then I was looking for my son again and a second time she called me and said that God is going to bless me so much, especially in my work (career). I was very happy and felt so special, but still emotional and then she showed me where my son was and I went to him to give him a hug and kiss.

I don't know why God would give me this dream especially the night before all the drama went on today with my husband. Just wish there was someone who me and the kids could stay with in town but there really isn't anybody. My mom and his parents stays in another town. I have a good job that pays well, but it won't be enough for me and the children. Maybe God wanted to tell me that if I do leave my husband I will have nothing to worry about financially 'cause he will bless me.

Please just pray for me and the children especially for our safety. Thank you so much for all the prayers that we've received over this period. Really appreciate it guys.

May God keep me and the children safe and may GOd bless all of you.

Love in Christ
Sirianta

[Deborah 0]

Sirianta,
May God bless you with wisdom and comfort and provide protection for you and your little ones during this time. I'm so sorry this happened to you and your children; you deserve better. I'm praying you'll find the refuge you need.

[Cholette 0]

You definately need refuge because your husband is unstable. He is sick and he needs the Lord and he needs help. You really need to seek God on what to do. When it comes to the safety of my children and myself, a job and how much money I make just doesn't compare.

Blessings to you!

[Delightful soul 0]

I came into the bathroom and saw my two kids and friends of ours (my husbands boss) daughter in the bath with lots of foam just having fun.

I used the above from your first dream posted by you on here.

Could this be what happened at the resort you went to?

Even my husbands boss told him this morning that it was really not necessary.

works' yearend function at a holiday resort.

I feel for you and will continue to pray. Father make the way open for her to walk where you want her and her children to go. Help this to be a peaceful exodus out of a volatile situation that she has expressed here.