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hind'sfeet

sibling and cousin-in-laws

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One of my brother have married and several cousins have married within the past several years. My sister in law in particular makes me feel like an outsider. Considering that we only ever visit and we don't see them often and haven't lived any where near the state since my siblings were kids.
I just can see the whole dynamics have changed. I was never a big part of my siblings lives anyway because I hated them when I was growing up (I'm the oldest and their dad married my mom). Like, when my siblings visit eachother they are best friends but when I got to visit I spend more time with our grandparents, aunts, uncles, and some cousins. I just feel the whole in law dynamic coming in and it feels like they aren't including me. I don't know where I fit in and I shouldn't have to feel this way in my own family. They are the ones that came into my family, not the other way around.
I just feel like my sister in law is being a snob to me and my parents and sucking up to my grandparents and cousins (she comes from a wealthy family and my grandparents aren't bad off, my parents on the other hand are not wealthy at all, and the aunt and uncle I feel she sucks up to are wealthy. My mom feels the same way).
I just want things to go back the way they were before my siblings and cousins got married crying

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I'm so sorry Hindsfeet! That is not fun at all. Please know I am praying for you. I know it can be hard with different dynamics within our families at times. I know with me, the body of Christ has brought much healing in some of these areas with me. It seems where my own biological family has lacked, that the Lord has brought brothers and sisters in the Lord to make up for that lack. I feel at times that I am closer to some of my brothers and sisters in the Lord than my own flesh and blood..but then again, a lot of my family is not serving the Lord. Hope that encourages you somehow....

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Thank you Daisy, it's just hard. There was a family dynamic that I was comfortable with, noone I didn't love or dislike or have any problems with (except for my mom. It takes a lot for me to be respectful to her though I have forgiven her and her husband).
I don't know. My sister in law just treats me like I'm not my one of my siblings or cousin of my cousins, more like some acquaintance. I guess technically I am because it's not like I call anyone to talk. It just seems that whenever we are there she talks to my cousins and siblings and ignores me even though she can see them whenever she wants.
I don't really know what I expect ya'll to say to this. I just need to get it out. My whole family are Christians and so is my sister in law.
I know that deep inside God keeps telling me that I have HIM and not to worry about them. I just feel sick whenever it comes to mind.

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That makes total sense how you feel hinds. I am so sorry, it must be so hurtful. Nobody likes to feel rejected, especially by family...that should be our safest place. Sometimes it does help to get it out. I will be praying for you, and hoping things get better. crying praying

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Ya know HF,

I so understand what you are talking about. My family is much the same way. I had to separate myself from them. They are so removed from the Lord and his ways that I can't be around them for long. I finally just cried out to the Lord and he reminds me that he is my brother, sister, mother and my father. That is enough for me! I need only rely on him as my family. Man will disappoint me but the Lord will never do that. Hang in there girl...let the Lord have it.

Love in Jesus,

Connie

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Thank you Daisy and Connie. God will just have to be all that for me. I don't know how He will. I've gotten quick glimpses of what you say but not enough to feel it or understand.

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So glad I could at least encourage you a little. This scripture comes to mind for you....

Proverbs 4:23
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

I pray that God will show you what will be the best way for you to keep your heart guarded while around these family members. I am so sorry they are being hurtful. I will be praying for you...keep us posted as time goes on.

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Thank you Daisy, I do need Him to guard my heart. I put up walls so easily. I don't need walls just a heart that is safe.

huggins you 2

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awe,,,HF I'm so sorry. I understand what your saying. I come from a large family and we use to be so very tight but the dynamics have changed as well. I'm always wishing it was how it use to be. so I want to pray for you! And this is why I love this site because there is always someone who can relate, give encouraging words and pray for each other. huggins
That really stinks that their being that way! I have stuff like that going on in my family too....pray for them and just depend on the Lord for your needs.

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hind'sfeet wrote:
Thank you Daisy, I do need Him to guard my heart. I put up walls so easily. I don't need walls just a heart that is safe.

huggins you 2


Amen!! I struggle with this too. well said!

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Thank you Wings, huggins to you as well.

Thank you guys for all the encouragement. I'm sad for us all. I'm so glad that we have our Father and that we can share our pain and struggles with eachother and be understood. I'm thankful for the happier times we share too big hug 2

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Yep! I can relate as well! I come from a large family and I have ALWAYS felt like the outsider! I have gotten to the point where I avoid family gatherings (the few I'm invited to because of obligation) because I am ignored and disregarded. I ONLY go if I feel the Holy Spirit gives me a green light to go and I don't allow guilt or a feeling of obligation to manipulate me anymore.

Lately the Holy Spirit has been showing me how, as Christians, our presence is a blessing. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit, the kingdom of God is inside of us and so we are bringing something very awesome and valuable with us wherever we go. HF, if these people don't want you around, they are missing out!!! It's their loss!!!!!!

The prophecy of Jesus in Isaiah 53 tells me Jesus really understands what we are going through--He was despised (it says that twice) and rejected by men, people hid their faces from Him, he was not esteemed. My personal opinion is this rejection is part of our prophetic calling. Matthew 13:57 says "A prophet is not without honor except in his own country and IN HIS OWN HOUSE."

Then remember when Jesus' brothers and sister and mother were trying to "talk" to Him and Jesus said His mother, His brother and sisters were those who did the will of the Father in heaven (Matthew 12:50)?

Unless the Holy Spirit tells you differently, go where you're celebrated, HF, not where you are only tolerated, and know when we all get to heaven we will ALL feel included, loved and accepted in the family reunion that really matters.

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