hind'sfeet

Amen Connie.

You guys have been SUCH and encouragement I could def. feel the humility when writing it. I do get the sense that God is helping me to get it behind me. I want to move forward into the light and not backward into the darkness. This is something I never thought would happen, esp. so soon... Now I know it's happening and God says the time is now to get it done with and to work. Todays sermon at church was God telling people to not pay attention to what He's doing in other's lives, to work on what He is doing/having you do in your own life, to work, get busy and work. All week, I've been having a dry spell, not hearing God really talking to me. I think I was focusing too much on my imperfections and sins again. Trying to have balance. After writing that letter triggered me into very bad moods, grouching at my son like I'm pmsing again. Forgetting to keep perspectives and have balance. I don't think any of us will be balanced until we are made perfect. Right now it's like being on one of those balance tables and made more difficult with a marble. Trying to keep the marble from rolling off the balance table. ok, I'm done

Thank you Cholette and Connie!! I am now waiting to see what God will do

You're welcome Daph.

Thank you Cholette

My son is almost out the door to put it in the post box. I am getting all kinds of doubts about my letter, like it was too short, should have put more, it's meaningless... It was a short letter, I am going to put it here and ya'll can tell me what you think: "Dear mom God has put it on my heart to write an apology to you. I am sorry for all the pain, worry, and heartache I've caused you. I'm sorry for having been rebelious, mean, selfish, uncaring, unsympathetic, dishonest, argumentative, vengeful, unforgiving, unloving, resentful, unremorseful, entitled, disobedient, unmerciful, malicious, gossip, hateful, stubborn, and judgmental. I just want to say that I am sorry. Andrea Isaiah 61" Thank you guys for the awesome encouragement!!! Thank you Father for what you are doing!!!

So, at the meeting with the pastors I told them why God wants me to do (apologize to my mom) and they were in agreement. They confirmed that I don't need to do it voice to ear, that it could be written. My mother is not someone you can apologize to easily and I don't need any interruptions. I'm wondering now if an attitude of 'not caring' if you are forgiven by the person is bad? I feel like there is something to this attitude, like I'm protecting myself from being rejected, and that it's more of a bad attitude than a good one. I can't help the feeling that I don't give a flying cat if she forgives me or not. My deadline that we set to send the letter was today but I'm just finishing it and it's like 2 am. I don't mind that I can send it tomorrow, but I'm troubled about this attitude that seems to have been brought to my attention by being troubled by it in the first place. I'm not asking her to forgive me in the letter anyway, as I don't want her calling me about it. It's just an I'm sorry letter without any butts (that's sort of a joke). It's hard enough admitting my mistakes to her because of how she is. Basically I just listed words that describe what I've done, nothing specific, that would take a life time.

Thank you for praying! It went well

I love what you said Cholette, AMEN, what a revelation!!

dreamster!!! Thank you for the huggins

Amen. Thanks SCGirly

I am going to meet with the pastor tomorrow about 1 or 2 pm. It's about forgiveness and apologizing to my mother. I need to let God take me there and through the journey Has set me on. I need perserverance and strength to NOT Give Up. I'm VERY VERY Prone to giving up or setting things aside to finish at another time. I feel that has big potential to be one of those kinds of things because it's something that needs follow-thru which I DESPERATELY NEED. I need to be free. Follow-thru is not natural for me. I need to answer to someone other than myself. I cannot trust myself one iota, seriously, to the extent that it feels exactly the same as not trusting your own friend to finish anything.

Thank you Dove "See I have engraved you in the palms of my hand..." really touches me because I was watching tattoo inc the other night, (off and on throughout my life I've been wanting a tattoo) and I was thinking about where I would put a tattoo that represents my son and I pictured putting it on the palm of my hand. It brings to life to me what Jesus said/did.

HALLELUYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks randomhit

Thank you dreamster!!! I'm feeling emotionally better today

Daph, Isaiah is dancing with Jesus in Heaven. I don't know if it was the decision of the judge and if so Wo to him. http://edmonton.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20100311/edm_statement_100311/20100311/?hub=EdmontonHome

Thank you Cholette, I needed the reminder, and thank you for praying and replying

It's a horrible time of month for me. I become very very lonely and feels like no one really cares about me at all, they don't really want to know who I am. I haven't been having good dreams lately, just troubling dreams that I don't want to post. It didn't even occur to me until a couple minutes ago when I sent a pm to a friend I haven't heard from in a week, to tell you what I am going through. It's like a revelation for me to do this because I don't normally reach out when I feel like this. I don't feel like God has been talking to me lately though I ask Him to in His word but I keep turning to stuff where I feel like He's just telling me how horrible I've been. During this time, I take things very personally and I think most people would say that I'm being paranoid. It really really hurts. Right now, I am wanting to delete my facebook page or tell people I grew up with that they never knew me or cared.

Me too.

you had me so confused. I think it stems from you saying Gog/Russia.

Are you saying that there are going to be people who don't take the Mark, survive all the disasters, aren't confronted about not having the mark, survive God's wrath and the appearance of Jesus, yet are not on God's side?

I fully believe that God will have justice for that family!!!

Thanks randomhit, I really doubt that countries will survive what is coming. Most people I believe will be taking the Mark and All of them will die in God's wrath. I guess we'll find out.