Grey Butterfly

It is hard to give up something that feeds something that so strong and that feels so important. I will pray for you Jasmine :o) You need help with this one though... and it's ok to ask for it... everyone needs help sometimes. He loves you heaps xxx

Hey Jas, My response is very late.... I wanted to reply anyway cos' I can't get over how proud I feel of the fact you stopped cutting. In all the conversation above, that was the thing that I kept coming back to... and, you fasted for a day and a half when you were sick [on medication for gastroenteritis or an ulcer and your knee went and you were so sick they sent you home from school] You are one determined to get back with God girl!!! Let me ask you Jasmine... if you had a small sister and she had messed up. You were watching out for her and praying and hoping that she would turn around and smile again because you love her sooooo much and her smile just melts your heart, and then, if she came to you with tears in her eyes and held out her arms for you would you reject her? Would you not snaffle her up and bawl your eyes out for the joy of having her turn to you? And when she had made progress, she was still suffering terribly from depression but she was not cutting anymore... would you slap her? would you tell her "I don't care if you are sick and have homework..." If you would not... how much more God!!! Oh Jasmine - HOW HE LOVES YOU! He sees you in white robes of the deepest righteousness, glowing, pure and lovely, he sees you as though you had never ever sinned. All of the spiritual realm see you as his daughter [I believe it is visible to those who live in that realm] even Satan can see what you cannot... that is why he pours bile over you... You have nothing to make up with God. You have no ground to travel to Him. Just hold up your arms and believe you rest on his lap... for that is truth. Will that change your earthly circumstances? Probably not. But you are not a sinful/weak/broken girl in your circumstances... you are the Holy and set apart daughter of the King of kings deliberately placed in the dark so she can shine brightly. You are where you are for a purpose, you are strong and determined, just look at what you have done! But..... You don't need to prove anything to God, as the others said, you don't live under the law and he loves you to bits, he is your cheer squad and he can't stop looking at you... you just need to move on from this point with a new perspective. Jesus, I want to pray for my little sister, she is 14 and she has been through so much! I ask for strength, I know she has strength and I thank you so much for giving that to her already, I ask for your love to burn brightly in her, may she know it for herself and be a beacon for others, may others see her and know that you exist and you are love. All of this can be a bit theoretical when life is tumbling you God... When you are feeling pummelled and you can barely breathe, it is hard to see that shining with your character is a possibility... it is hard to shine with your love when we can't feel that love ourselves at times. I pray therefore that you will meet Jasmine where she is, love her with such depth that she will feel like she has been coated with honey, that she will feel that every wound has been bound and all her nerve endings (physical, emotional and spiritual) have been quieted and comforted... I pray that you will let her know deep inside her how loved she is, that she is yours and no-one can take her away from you, that she only needs to lean back an inch and she will feel your chest... I pray Holy Spirit that you will heal Jasmine of depression, miraculously, instantly, replace that feeling with a lightness that grows as she acknowledges it and chooses to go with it. I ask that the lightness of spirit will soon show on her face and she will feel like the clouds have parted and the sun is shining... I pray she will bask in your light and let it soak down into her bones like a confidence and a peace that will become the seat of her strength. Amen. Bless you Jasmine :o)

Jasmine, I just read in your other post that you are 2 months clean from cutting, now I will cry! Well done!!!! That is the princess of God standing right there! I will pray for you now about the fasting... I saw that Astra answered you, I didn't stop to read her answer yet, I was hit by the fact you were not cutting any more. Bless you precious sister, bless you!

Hi Jasmine, Can I suggest an alternative? I read your reasons to cut, and I wonder if you would temporarily deliberately decide to use something else to find your identity in [obviously you have an identity in Jesus already, you are the daughter of the most high God... you are beloved and beautiful, if people could see you as God sees you, as you really are, they would fall on their faces in awe] It is hard to get a handle on that when you are depressed and in need of something to do with your hands... so, I wonder if you would try using another method... there is one I can think of that would be useful too for displaying strength... So, as a temporary thing, a first line of action thing, do you think you could do something else when you feel like cutting? My idea would be walking... if you signed yourself up for a marathon for example and then you begin to train for that marathon... seeing the pain of training in the way you see the pain of cutting... you could focus your energy on it. Lets face it, you would have to be strong to complete a marathon, those who do that are people of tenacity and courage. Of course, the up side of that idea is that exercise can actually help with the depression because of the hormones it releases. You are right, Jesus does cry, I know because I very nearly did when I read your post and He loves you ever so much more! You do need to stop cutting, you said that yourself... and the underlying depression really does need to be dealt with... I'm sure you know that. Would it help in the short term to have an alternative Jasmine? To have a "something" to do with that energy, till the desire to cut is gone? My idea might not be the thing... but find something Jasmine, will you please?? And find a way to get (hands on, face to face) help, even if it means telling Mum so that she can get that help for you. Bless you... I will pray for you too. With much love, Diane

I agree with Cholette, Maybe you will need to cry with Jesus first... it is hard to share our deepest hurts with another. But I want to say that it is never a burden to hear the heart cry of someone you love - it is a privelege and a blessing to see deep into another persons soul. (If he has said he doesn't want to go there, that is different), but if not, give him the choice to love you through this MJ, give him the chance to be your hero. If he is the man I got a glimpse of from what you wrote, he will surprise you and probably be the catalyst for deeper healing for you. You don't need to dwell on (or in) your past with your husband... who wants to do that!!! But opening the door and allowing him to look and then hold you while you cry, that is different. I pray you will be hearing that doorbell again soon, I pray that the beautiful, gentle Holy Spirit will sweep clean the corners of your heart and mind and fling open your doors for the sunlight to stream in and heal you. Bless you, Diane

Hey MJ, This is a real sadness. This is a valid crying reason, this is a "can't be held inside without slowly killing you" cry. Could you tell your husband that you have some tears pent up that just need to come out and that he has given you a safe place to cry and heal? I read this after your post about the doorbell and so maybe it just seemed logical to me cos' that's the way I read them, but I believe that is why you are getting woken at night... safe time to deal with it, safe, alone with God time to cry on his shoulder. How I wish I could give you the biggest hug! It is right to feel sadness... and heartbreak that those who should have nurtured you did not... they were the ones who should have stood between you and danger and instead they were the danger. You have survived - and not only survived but grown up to be a decent human being with an open heart to love and a softness that must be the delight of your husband and of God. No wonder the most delightful one is ringing your bell at 3 in the morning :o) Oh Jesus don't give up! Keep on drawing her into your embrace, let her dam break in the safety of your arms, give her the space to be, the space to let go and meet her and meet her and meet her till she is empty of tears and shoots of new life are coming up in her spirit, wrap her in your embrace - I know it is the most comforting of places - and love her with your gentleness that leads to wonder and delight... love her till those shoots become a carpet of flowers and her face smiles with the delight that you have wrought in her soul... give her beauty for ashes and joy for mourning Lord. Be her Father, her beautiful Papa, the Papa who twirls his little girl with delight, the Papa bear whose gentle paws could kill her enemies with a swat... let MJ know the safety of your arms, let her heal there, show her where you were and how you felt about her sufferings... show her how you feel about her, show her how much you love her. Bless you, bless you! Diane.

Hi Lord Jesus, Thank you for your incredible love for us, I know that you love this family, that you have them in the palm of your hand as you have me... I know this because I have experienced you and your provision and your care often enough to believe that this is who you are. You are love, and I believe with these ladies/sisters here that you are in control and you will bring these sheep of yours into green pastures... if they are to go through a deep valley then i know too that you will go ahead of them and will be with them. Thank you for the vision of an angel to reassure Astra, you are so very good Father! I pray for this family that you will meet their needs, that you will not see them destitute... for your name's sake. Protect your little ones Holy Spirit, surround them and give them an extraordinary peace. Amen

Praying for you... praying that you are upheld and kept safe throughout the operation, praying that they get it all, praying that the light of Life will bring health to your bones and a smile to your face... praying that the radiation works and that you can move on after this to the new adventure and purpose God has for you. Bless you, Di

I pray that the angel of death will back away from you Linda... I ask Jesus that you step close to Linda... so many people agreeing with Death that he can take her... I want to wave a banner, large and colourful and say NO. I know that Linda is okay with coming home Jesus, is that what you want? To take your girl home? I see her lying with her head on your lap, she is asleep, you are stroking her hair. I asked you, what about Linda? I said to you, I know that cancer cannot kill her. But have you opened a door to bring her home? I will wait on your answer... maybe you will not answer me, it is not like I need to know, I just want to pray for Linda, pray that she is healed and i guess I am asking is that what you want? (Bit late I know, cos' I've been praying that since the beginning) I can't hear Him here... I will come back. Bless you Linda, Di. I pray with some friends tonight, I will be praying for you Linda... with love, Di.

Love to you Linda

How are you Mary Anne? Jesus I want to thank you for the fact that you love Mary Anne and your hand is on her and that she can trust you. Thank you that she does trust you! I pray that the tumor was gone and that Mary Anne is celebrating in reality now. Thank you that there is nothing too big or nasty for you Jesus, you are God over all. Amen

There is no sickness in Jesus, there is no tumour there is no cancer. He is perfect... If it is true - and I believe that it is - that we are in him... then Jesus, Holy Spirit, conform Linda's physical body on earth to her spiritual one that is nestled inside of you at the right hand of the Father... On earth as it is in heaven.... the spiritual is the real... show us reality Father, Daddy, let Linda live in reality.

Praise you God for Linda's life, praise you for your hands on her, praise you for the testimony of Christians down the ages that you are a God of power and might, thank you that you care and you love Linda and you will do the very best thing for this sheep of yours... You are the good Shepherd who cares for the sheep.

This is a time for your glory Father! The world will be watching, they will be saying Linda has loved God, Linda has been really close to him... and if you allow her to die Lord, they will say you couldn't save her... they will say Linda loved the wind. In the old testament you speak of fools who worship idols... you describe those idols as mute and deaf and unable to save. Mighty God, do not let your name be defamed!!!! Do not let all the people who know Linda go without a witness to your greatness, for your name sake and for the sake of Linda's family and friends... the lost, and those hungry for you... for both of them, stretch out your arm to save Linda from this tumour. You can dissolve it in an instant. I believe that you have. Thank you Father for your great love, for Linda, for all who know her, for us too. I ask then, that the people around her will be prepared, miracles don't always bring belief in you. Please prepare their hearts and give them eyes to see and ears to hear... please don't let Linda's loved ones be hard hearted and disbelieving! Please let them all come to you on bended knee, let them all come to you in awe and in love and say I want to follow Linda's God, for he is a great God, he is living and powerful and I know that he loves because I have seen it with my own eyes! Let them go out to the people around them and tell the story of your greatness, let them sing your praises so that the devil blocks his ears and you recieve the glory you deserve.... (glory you deserve whether you take/or save Linda.) Oh God, if they don't glorify you... I will weep... if they are not affected, not saved, not believing... You have been there before my beautiful Lord... you have "reached your hands out all day to an obstinate people" You laid it all down for us, you have already gone the whole distance for us. We don't deserve more than that... we didn't deserve that! God, you are love. I praise you because you are love!

Jesus, I have been thinking of Linda a lot... I ask that you surround her today, lift her spirits when she feels tired, let her see the joy of the Lord... your joy, for the joy of the Lord is our strength... I pray for joy and life and lightness of spirit, I ask that you breathe into Linda's nostrils and as that breathe fills her lungs and seeps into her blood like a brightness that travels through every vein she will be restored to health for your glory. Amen

Linda, I entered his courts with praise last night and when his presence was thick around me I prayed for you. I imagined putting my hands on your head and I imagined pulling that thing out. My hands were hot and felt like static electricity between them... I asked for total healing - I asked for health. Bless you today sister.

I copied and pasted your word into google.... they described it as chicken wire, but to me this even looks a little bit like little pink octopus - ish things. I still ask Jesus, that you just take it out! Bless you Linda Amen.

Awesome idea :o) I pray and try to let go and allow God to work and I get in the way and I apologise and I do this whole dance with my three... I am lucky that God showed me early on, when my baby was small and I didn't want to sleep in case she stopped breathing... he showed me then that he had it covered. He never sleeps and I truly let it go and trusted him at that point. I still remember it, and I still try to do it, I do all that I can and trust God for the rest. In June this year I began a website with a friend (her idea) it was daunting, and it still is mostly just me on there, but I am praying for people and things are moving and God is connecting me with other people who pray too... I had never ever done something like that, nor had I ever wanted to, but it was easy to set up and fun too. It takes longer to establish it, but I'm okay with that cos' I think that the prospect of it "taking off" scares me more than it growing slowly. :o) Bless you as you dream and begin to plan... and it becomes a reality. I pray that God will be the wind in your sails and that he will rest his hand over yours on the rudder. Diane

Jesus keep pouring your love and blessings over Linda, please make her rise up on wings like an eagle and soar with good health. Merry Christmas Linda... I hope you enjoy it with your family xx

Lord you know where this medicine is, and you are more than able to make it's arrival quick and problem free. You have power too, to uphold Ruth in her health until the medicine arrives... Please make this okay for your child. Amen

Blessings to you sunshine :) Doesn't it feel wonderful to be touched by God and given what you ask for! Enjoy

Hi Deborah, You said: "So anyway, I've decided to stop murmuring in my tent. I have decided to cut off relationships with people who have supported me but have also sowed seeds of discontentment in me. I know this resolve is a big threat to the enemy because frankly all hell has broken loose in my life lately. Pray for me, brothers and sisters, that I remain here, in the lap of Jesus, where I can't help but be content." That's very brave, I hope that it has gotten easier as time passed. Jesus I pray that you will bless Deborah for acting on her convictions, I pray that you will fill her heart with the peace that comes from gratitude. I ask that Deborah might be able to look back to last month and smile for joy at the change she can see in hindsight. Oh God, help me too, to count my blessings instead of my grumbles. Life is not easy, even your life here was not easy! I will speak out my thanks, I will enter your courts with praise, for you have blessed me in amazing ways! I am free to love you, free to enter your presence!!!! No amount of money could pay for the Life you have given... I am your ambassador, your light in a dark place.... this means my life has purpose and significance... I a so very thankful for people who love me, people to hug, needs met, beauty in my surroundings, a pet... I am so very very blessed! Thanks Deborah for reminding me to bless my very generous Father with my praise today! I'm declaring for myself a gratitude day... a day of speaking out what I am thankful for. Blessings to you all... Diane

Jesus, I ask that you be with this man whose heart is breaking... please heal his body and restore him to health. I ask that you will be with Mark as he thinks of him today... help him to rest and not worry... help his Uncle to lean on you and trust in your presence... If he does not know you my beautiful Lord, would you please visit him and let him know you enough to come under your wings for comfort. Amen

It's me again Jesus, creeping onto your lap... I know that you don't mind me disturbing you... I want to ask that you look at Linda... I imagine she is sleeping at the moment... I am awake on the other side of the world... you never sleep do you, you can look at us whenever you want to. Would you stroke her hair and whisper in her ear of your love for her right now... would you touch her because she is beautiful and precious to you. Your touch would heal her. I know that you are smiling over her. treasuring her... I know that you have shown her that this tumour is a gift... please make your presence clear to her, please explain as she goes and speak with her more and more... give her a vision of you, show her the gift - show her how it is a gift, what you intend for her life and how she will use it... let her dance for joy in your presence Lord. She trusts in you and is in your hands, I know that you love that about her and I know that you still have a good plan for Linda's life. Bless her as she wakes up, make this day a day of colour and light and filled with the fragrance of you. Amen