Virtuous

WOW!!!!!!! That's wonderful. I'm not sure if I know exactly what role in ministry my husband will operate in, but I DO know his role will be above mine. We will stand together in ministry and declare the works of the Lord. I wonder the same thing about my husband too, LovetoworshipJesus. I wonder if he's already in ministry. It hurts me at times because I'm not fully operating in my ministry and I'm thinking God is waiting on me to be obedient and do what is required of me before he unites us. I'm saddened and disappointed at times because I know he's probably praying and patiently waiting on me to get it right. Sometimes I wonder if I've even met him before and if he knows I'm his wife and I just don't know he's my husband.

Sunshine2, I hope your marriage is doing better. I mean...I don't know what to say. I am at a loss for words after reading your post. Question...What made you all of a sudden want to make it a point to say "Brian"? Just curious...

Thank you LovetoworshipJesus! So do I...So do I!

There was a time that I really wanted to know...only to use that knowledge to automatically turn other persuers away. Now, I'm not so sure that I want to know. There are many on this site who know and have known who their spouses are and have been waiting years to unite with them. God must really trust them, because I don't think I would be able to know who my husband is and have to wait years before uniting with him. Knowing me, I would probably try to bring us together myself and that would be out of season and out of order. THAT WOULD CAUSE SUCH A HUGE MESS IF I DID THAT! A part of me still desire to know but I don't think I'd be able to handle it right now.

Well, I guess I can take a little comfort in the fact that I haven't actually bought any in a few weeks...so I guess that's a start, huh? It still doesn't erase the fact that I have family and friends who smoke and I'll bum one off of them. I still feel the need to talk with my Pastor about this...so we'll just see what happens. chica4christ, I pray that we both, as well as others, find the strength we need to overcome our stuggles!

Virtuous...DON'T DO IT GIRL!!!! All that I said to Chica4Christ stands true for you as well. There are liars, fornicators, adulterers, discord sowers, etc, etc, etc who sing. Your gift(s) from God are without repentance. When he gave you that gift to sing, don't you know he knew you would have a problem with smoking? Of course he did. He could have said "no, I won't give that to her because she's going to be a smoker" Instead...KNOWING that you would struggle, he trusted you with that gift. YOU ARE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD!!!!!! That is all God sees. Your "stuff" is in the sea of forgetfulness. What are you gonna do...wait until you stop smoking before singing again? Don't you know that the devil will go bananas on that habit so you WON'T go back? Come on...let the worship that comes out of your mouth aid in your deliverance. Girl, if I could TELL YOU what I struggle with I could make your head spin...but I understand that I am a worshipper and since I've been back on the praise team, God has taken me to another level. Why would he do that knowing my issues? Because He loves me and because he has given me an assignment that I must complete!!!! I can tell you that the biggest area that I struggle with has been subsiding because I remind myself when I struggle with it who I am and that I don't have to obey my flesh anymore. TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!!! Cholette, you are NOT going to believe this! When I first logged back in to read the last post (it was from Dove-Solutions at the time) I added a response. This is the very thought that came to mind as I clicked send, "From one worshipper to another...I sure would like to know what Cholette thinks about this." Thank you girl...thank you!!!!!!!!

Thank you for your responses. Like I said before, you have given me a lot to consider. I just want to do the right thing. Being hypocrital is the LAST thing I want to be. I do want to live a life worthy of the call God has placed on my life and I don't want to disappoint God and I certainly don't want to miss Him.

Jadams, I'm holding on to that too. I've had a man show up in a dream. I wasn't married to him in my dream but I knew he was my husband. I didn't recognize who he was. I'm beginning to wonder if that's because I haven't met him yet. We'll just wait together .

True Flight, thanks for your response. I didn't take it as being hard. I think the fact that being in a leadership role means I should hold a standard of purity. I think it is very hypocritical of me to stand before the congregation ushering in the presence of the Lord knowing what I do. I think it's time to either turn from smoking or get out of the way until I can. I'm not saying smoking is a greater sin than anything else...sin is sin. Bad thoughts going through my head is not sin...acting upon them is the sin. Trust me, stepping down is the last thing I want to do because I LOVE it. But I have a conviction about it and that within itself is cause to either stop it right now, or step down. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to speak with my Pastor about it and tell her everything. If she agrees that I should step down, then that's what I will do. I completely understand what you're saying. Would it make a difference if I was in leadership and fornicating? Should I step down then? When is it appropriate for someone in leadership to step down? I just don't know. You have given me something to consider and I promise you I will be praying about it and I will still speak to my Pastor concerning this.

Sounds like me and those darn cigarettes. I just finished talking about this yesterday with someone I have a lot of respect for (spiritually). I can relate to everything you've said and your feelings behind your actions. I feel the same way everytime I yield to my own fleshly desires of smoking. Sometimes I'm too afraid to repent because I don't want to keep asking God to forgive me for something I like doing. I've gone over and over again in my head how I can accept God delivering me from something I like doing. I heard Bishop Paul Morton speak and he was talking about the mind...It's a mind thing. I try to remember the scripture that says, "Let this mind be in you (I always say "me"), that was also in Christ Jesus". Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, it's because I allow the flesh to overpower the spirit in me. I will tell you this though. I am about to step down from leadership. I'm on the Praise & Worship team. I can not keep doing this and be in leadership. It's all or nothing...one or the other. God IS NOT pleased with me. I feel in my heart He'd rather I sit down than to get up before Him with impurities in my life. Yes, part of my ministry He has called me in is praise and worship. But He is not going to tolerate the sin in my life. I've heard some say smoking cigarettes is not a sin. Yes it is and I'm doing it. I am defiling my body with them and God is not pleased. It is breaking my heart to keep disappointing God with this. I know better and yet and still I'm being hard-headed. Even as I write this the tears are flowing . I know better. God is not going to keep allowing me to struggle with this...I know He's not. But until I can say no to the flesh and yes to the spirit, I can not operate in the gifts He has placed on my life. I haven't bought cigarettes in two weeks, but I have been smoking them.... I'll be back...this is soooooo hard for me.

I don't know who my husband is, but I always find myself praying for him...I just can't call him by his name - only "my husband".

Now that's what I'm talking about ! Thanks for sharing.

It seems to me that you have a passion for what you're trying to do but it also seem that you're trying to do it in your own strength. Everything you're wanting to commit to looks and sounds good on the surface, but if GOD is not orchestrating it, you're setting yourself up for less than what He wants from you. I can't mention the name and author of one of the books I just read because of the rules of this site, but it speaks about doing what you know God wants you to do without God. God will honor your willingness to do His will but He can only go so far because of what His word says. We have to know God's plan for our lives, allow His purpose to be revealed to us and then pursue after HIS plan and HIS purpose...HIS way. That is very important. That is order. Sweetie, I can tell by your writing that you have a heart for what you're doing. Make sure you listen only to God on how to bring what your heart is desiring to accomplish. And I strongly agree with Cholette and Desiree. Get settled and stable. If you get too busy doing things, you can't be still enough or long enough to hear God guiding and directing your path. Don't get weary...Get settled because the foundation Desiree is talking about is the ulimate beginning.

I totally agree with Cholette. The same thing happened to me. I was hired with a department and was told I may have to transfer later on down the line. To make a long story short, I was transferred to another department (within the same organization). All they did was pull a switch-a-roo with me and another lady. Later, I found out that the Office Manager and the lady I switched places with are distant relatives and she said she wanted her in the main office because she wouldn't be able to excel in the office I went to. I was like, "Well, what about me?!" She was actually grooming her for the job she holds now (Office Manager). But God used it for my good as well. The experience I got from being transferred equipped me with the skills I needed for the promotion I received afterwards. The enemy still tried to stop it. HR removed my name from the list because they said I wasn't truthful on my application (mind you, this is the same application I used from the very beginning. I only changed the date and the classification). Which was not true. But because a certain area of my application was not mentioned in the interview, they said it was grounds for my name to be removed. They actually removed my name but God set it where the list was pulled right before my name was removed and I got the promotion. There's not a devil in hell or on this earth who can thrawt God's plan for your life. Keep on holding on to what God has told YOU!

Wow, Sandra! THAT was powerful!

You're welcome!

Expectation is the breeding ground for miracles. Going in expectation for what you're believing God for is enough for you to receive it. I think letting your Pastor know that you want to be a part of the conference and her giving you her blessings to go will ease your mind. You don't have to tell her about missing her party (it's a surprise, right?). Just ask her to cover you in prayer and be in agreement with you that you receive what you're believing for.

Is this prayer for you in reference that you desire hearing a word from the Lord or is it about wondering if you should go even though you want to go?

Father, I stand in agreement with my brother and sister for restoration and reconciliation in this marriage. God, you said in Hebrews 13:4 that marriage is honorable. I speak life and peace into this marriage, right now in the name of Jesus. I pray that this husband and wife will walk/stand shoulder to shoulder and fight back to back. I pray that you will re-unite them oh, Lord that your purpose and plan for their lives will be manifested in Jesus, Name that they will join together as one and wage war against the enemy. Bringing division into what You have designed is illegal and we command the enemy to Loose this marriage!!!!!! Rebuild this marriage on your principles, Lord, that it will stand in all things. We're believing and trusting in you, In Jesus' name...AMEN!!!!!!!! And it is so.... DO IT GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AMEN!

One of my greatest weaknesses is that I carry my heart on my shoulders.

I sure wish I could've been there to see her!

I certainly hope so.

I hope this happens for me as well with my ex, who is also the father of my 2 year old.

Cholette, That chapter is one of the reasons that prompted me to start this thread! He prayed and asked God to reveal his wife to him because he didn't want to go through dating woman after woman in search for the "ONE". God honored his request. I'll have to go back and re-read it, but I think they were both attending a wedding party for a mutual friend or something like that.