Jasmine
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Posts posted by Jasmine
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hello? -
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thx but sometimes I ask for a help to sleep and I still can't sleep -
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Dear God,
It's been a while since we've talked and I haven't thanked you for all the thing you've done.Thank you for this pain I feel everyday.
Thank you for 3 1/2 months of physical therapy (and more on the way).
Thank you for the long-awaited doctors' appointments.
Thank you for the few sympathetic people, and sometime the lack thereof. Thank you for the snickers and giggles of people who just don't understand.
Thank you for the pills that make me feel better (and are hard to swallow): Calcium Magnesium Zinc, D3-2000 (some weird form of Vitamin D), and Osteo Bi-flex.
Thank you for that fact that no matter what I do I'm in pain!
Thank you for people who complain about my multiple injuries when I AM the one bearing them.
Thank you for all of this-
because I know because of this, I'll meet the Great Physician.
Thank you for this mundane period in my life.
Thank you for a mother who basically refuses to understand me.
Thank you for an almost absent father.
Thank you for a house lost in clutter.
Thank you for an uncontrollable urge think of sex, masturbate, and look a porn.
Thank you for me having this stronghold for 4 years!
Thank you for this depression for 3 years.
Thank you for letting demons harass me everyday with disgusting thoughts about the good men around me.
Thank you for the dreams that I hopelessly think and dream about day and night.
Thank you for all of this-
'cause I know better days are not far off.
Thank you for letting me be tortured by that fact that I feel so far from Jesus,
that I've lost much of his presence in my life.
Thank you for so many unanswered prayers.
Thank you for making me wait so long for these tribulations (and I'm still waiting).
Thank you for all of the mountains I have to move in order to go to where I belong-
' cause all of these problem will bring me close to you. You're everything to me. -
Great poem! So LOVEly -
For the past two nights I have been unable to go to sleep. I was so uncomfortable. I was tossing and turning and I was itchy on me back. Please pray that I get some relief tonight. -
I just graduated middle school last Saturday. I miss my homeroom teacher (Mr.M) and I have no ideas why. I've been in that school for 2 years and I miss the people. I was in the school before that for 8 years and no part of my missed that place too much. My teacher isn't one of the best. He lacks patience and he always yells. Sometimes, he makes fun of certain people (its always a joke but it really angers one of his students) and he sometimes is unsympathetic towards me (BTW: both my knees and my ankle are a problem now). Now, I wonder why I don't miss my other (Mr. D) teacher as much (he's retired, buts he runs the after school program). He and I almost always play dominoes. He's more sympathetic towards me because he has leg problems and other stuff too. He has an awesome teacher. He was a dedicated teacher (40 years in the same place!).
Anyways, back to my own home room teacher. Please pray that God will tell me why I miss him and if he's to stay in my mind for some reason (he has some problems so maybe God wants me to pray for him.) -
no but i got over it. -
Thx my mom probably already has that in mind and there's no one at my church, just a senior pastor, junior pastor, three bible class teachers -
thx so much for helping -
I'm graduating saturday and I can't find my camera and I wanna take pictures. Pray so I can find it pls thx -
Thx but I already told the doctor and she told my mom to seek counseling. -
Thx but I already now Jesus. My mom almost refuses to believe that I need help. She once joked around how I should go to some poor country and see what real suffering is (the whole world could be in more of a mess than it already is, I still deserve help.). She also said she wishes she could shake the depression out off me. I can't talk to her with out her interrupting me and "correcting" me.
I know Jesus is the Wonderful Counselor, but I want to talk to someone that is PHYSICALLY here. I know the devil is out to get me. -
thx but this depression doesn't only affect my emotional well being. I have aches and pains and there are absolutely no reasons for it. I never injured myself in the places that hurt (not including my legs). Sometimes I forget things I just heard (I do but on occasion). Also, depression affects your brain cells. Some psychiatrists want their patients to take stuff like MRIs and cat scans. I guess one day doctors will be able "see" depression in someone's brain on an image. Like i said before, i don't think i'm bad enough to get pills and I just want counseling, but my mom won't take me. She says she's afraid i'll exaggerate and other stuff. I guess she just can't come to terms with me not being okay. IDK -
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! thx for commenting all of u -
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thx for the help -
Nope! Nobody! My pastor is old-fashioned, the other teenagers don't seem so close to God (I'm not judging, but I tend to behave the best), I have a bible class teacher that really seems to connect with teens but sometimes she's not there or I 'm not at church, or we come late and I can't talk with her. Also she has to help the other kids.) Let's look at my family. You know the deal with my mom. My dad is distant living somewhere in Brooklyn and even if he lived with us, I still would not be comfortable with him. My aunt would be more concerned, but she's like a caregiver to my grandma. Then, she'll lecture my mom. Then, my mom will be aggravated at me. Then, I'll be upset and dislike her more. Then, I'll have another thing to write on my list of bad actions she's done (I'm not literally counting her sins but I just can't forget). I could tell my grandma, but she speaks Spanish and she can't understand me. There's my grandpa, I don't want to even explain. I HAVE NOBODY BUT JESUS, AND I CAN'T HEAR JESUS. I don't want pills. I want counselling. My mom won't get me to the shrink. If I get a referral from the doctor, she has no other choice but to take me whether or not they have openings. -
I'm going to my pediatrician about how I feel everyday. I always feel miserable or "ok" (that's if you want me to be positive). I always feel terrible. When I talk to my mom about this stuff, she never shuts up! Today, she said she does that because she feels she needs to correct me.
She's been told she's a great listener (
those co-workers don't know the half of it). There's a whole lot more to this mess and I'm too tired to tell you guys everything. Please pray that I say the most important thing about my pain and some "supporting details" to back up what I say I feel (symptoms, thoughts, etc.). I don't want her t o say I'm alright. I know I'm not alright. I've been feeling this way for what feels like a decade (and I'm only 13). Oh please, please pray!
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thx a lot -
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Difficulty Sleeping
in A Praying Place
Posted