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Boscoe Jenkins

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Everything posted by Boscoe Jenkins

  1. Something happend the day of my mothers service. That morning i was getting ready for our family to pick us up so we could go to the service. I was falsely accused of stealing some socks from my mothers roommate & it got very ugly. I didn't understand how someone or something like that could happen at such a bad time. I still have alot of anger from that.
  2. Greetings & blessings to all, I have something on my mind. How does one know if they have truly gireved over. Someone that has passed on? My mother passed away in December of last year. God has kept me every step of the way through everything. It did take a toll on me though. The last time i attended church was 12/2/12 a couple of days my mother passed. I didn't go back. I went to church recently & it felt really good to be attending. I went to the church normally attend & at first i felt great but the next day i didn't. I forgot how long of had been since i went. It also brought up some feelings. Ever since my mother passed i feel like something stopped. My connectionWhen she she was sick it was hard to focus but since she's. Gone it feels like its worse. Im angry, snappy, mean. I hate coming home, & im. Happy to be left alone. Its as if eve with god is out of wack. Its like A HUGE MESS! Everything is amplified & i don't know how to handle it. Its hard to make sense of it. My mother was so strong when it came to handling death & i feel like i have to be strong like her. I don't think i ever really mourned over her passing.
  3. How can a Christian tell if they have a demonic affliction? Im asking because there are a couple of things going on in my life & and im worried that some of the things tht I've been doing might be a little bigger than me. If that makes any sense. I am in need of alot of help and prayer.
  4. When is the right time for a person to give their life fully to Christ?? Is been on my mind for a while & i don't know how to go about doing that. I don't want to anything that i not serious about. How does someone know when they're ready?
  5. This makes perfect sense...this question came up in a discussion. There was a time that I felt that god didnt forgive every sin. I couldnt understand how he could after we've done so much. Like I said, im just startig to accept that he does forgive us of the things we do. When I was younger God said to me, that there was gonna be a time when everyone would be going left when he said specifically go right! "what are,you gonna do?" I just got confused about it when itcame to things that we REALLY ARENT supposed to be doing. Granted there are still things that we do that are done out of habit but I know that those thngs can be changed with gods hlp. & astra you were right that is my spirit convicting me & letting me know that, there are somthings that are not ment to be figured out.
  6. I have a question...god forgives all our sins right? What about when It comes to finding yourself? My friend asked me do I believe that god will forgive us for the mistakes we make along the way while were finding out things about ourselves. Im just coming into the realization that maybe God really does forgive us for all our sins. There are sides of my life that I do want explore but at the same time im confused because if there are things tht we are not supposed to do does that mean we should explore it anyway? What do we do in that situation?? I think eventhough he would forgive me I dont want to develope this liscence to sin attitude. "Its ok God will forgive me." If that makes any sense
  7. It went great! I ended it in the afternoon. Hit a bump while ending it. Cnt do solids right away lol (lesson learned) i am happy im just glad that i made the choice to do it thats when i was hit the most but God kept me the entire way.....WE did it! I feel open in some way its hard to explain feels like i tapped into something u know? & im sure the Lord will reveal it to me over time :D I would like to continue to do this so i can keep getting closer to the lord, & just to spend time with him. Thank you ladies for all your hlp & guidance! More than appreciated.
  8. lol :) i understand! I really appreciate it. I have church in the morning so i think im going to push for one more day on this fast. That will be my last day. :)
  9. Awsome! I didnt expect that word to be spoken to me like this. Im glad you allowed the Lord to use you like that :D
  10. im giving u ladies an update in how im doing with this fast. I woke up this morning tossing and turning. I kept having this reocurring dream that god was showing me one way to handle a situation and his way to handle it. He was so kind in showing me how to do it & patient. Im so not used to that lol. He just brought this back to me because at first i couldnt remember what the dream was about. I kept tossing and turning i didnt feel good. I looked at the time 4:58am i was told to get some water. As i was drinking the water i felt worse. Head started swimming , felt like i was gonna be sick & faint. I thought i was gonna panic so i went to my room. Dropped to my knees & told god whatever u want u can have it i submit everything. My flesh, anything that he thinks is not of him he can have it just make whatever this is go away. Im stubborn i dont like to cave but i think thos morning i did. I dont care how he had to do it i needed something's broken & torn down!. I went back to sleep and when i woke up it was so still and quiet in my mind. This is my first time doing this on my own. If im able to go to church tomorrow morning im debating if i should extendthe fast to one more day. I think it would be easier for me to recieve gods word. Not trying to get ahead of myself though. Still kinda shaken up about this morning. Astra, thank you for those words that is very encouraging. Thank u ladies for your support! :D
  11. Wow, god is good! Thank you mia for posting this reply. I am currently fasting. My goal was two days. My first day was friday. So far its hard on me mentally because its hard to focus mentally when your mind is all jumbled up. I thank you for the confirmation its omforting to know that im somewhat doing this the right way!!
  12. I will begnning my first Fast & prayer tomorrow. Im nervous because the last time i did this i didnt take it seriously like i should have. There is something going on with my attitude its ugly, and im too prideful to change it on my own. I recently started going back to church & ive been doing well at staying devoted to this being that im not devoted to much. There are times when i dont absorb the lesson like i should but it doesnt stop me from going. Thats when i need to be there the most. I feel that theres something in me that needs to be torn down & i need to seek gods presence. Im not expeting this to be easy i will be fasting for two days maybe even three days. Are there any pointers that anyone would have that may help me to remain focused??
  13. I recently started going back to church i am not suree about whayt exactly im looking for but i feel as long as its with god i cant go wrong. So far, i feel good about my choice. I went this morning & for a min i was strongly tempted to stay in bed. But god reminded me that its when i dont feel like doing something is when i need to do it the most. I feel strong when i go to church & im reciving comfirmation in alot of stuff. Im a little lost because im not sure what part of my life i should begin working on. I try to pray but my words get jumbled up & i honestly dont know how to just take one thing on at a time. But how cn i do that of i dont know exactly what i should start with? Whay should i do??
  14. I am asking that everyone please keep my mother i your prayers. She has been diagnosed with throat cancer. She begins her chemo on wednesday & i want her to beat this. I cant wrap my mind around the thought of having to let her go....i dont want to.
  15. she ment tht I dnt show enough devotion to myself when it comes to little and simple stuff.....she said tht gods strength is within me & tht I need to learn to love him first...srry, I thnk I wrote tht msg above wrong...i fell off track a bit so I need some hlp getting back. :D
  16. I was wondering does anyone have or know any scriptures on devotion? I have a close friend tht is gifted & always gives me advice & guidance. She told me tht I neef to learn to be devoted to myself first & realize tht the most important love of all comes from God. When looking at my bible I dnt know where to begin so im asking for hlp as to where I should strt..i would like to bein with devoting to myself more.
  17. I wanted to know spirituailly, how can someone overcome the feeling of constantly being attacked?? Ive been stuggling with this for about two yrs now since moving out of my mothers house. By nature, I am a very sensitive person...overly sensitive to most people. So when it comes to a person correcting me on somethng thr may or may not be wrong, I take it very personally. That is not healthy I know. I notice it with my friends especially. They mean me no harm when they try to hlp me with an issue. If anythng, I respect the honesty. At one point I WAS doing alot wrong & when they would tell me somethng I would automatically think that I'd done somethng wrong. Now tht we have moved & I have a lil more freedom to roam I notice tht I still have this problem. I cant discern when nothing is really wrong & when it is. Like I said its an automatic response "I think ive done something wrong." It is also affecting my job. I take things wayyyy to personally & I misinterpret wht is being told to me as an attack. Im so used to feeling like tht, tht I dont know how to change...ive been trying to find out where this is steming from. When I was a child I was in fostercare & the family I styed with was not very good to me. The mother used to abise me alot. I need & want to find the source behind this because I feel tht its a detrmental threa to things & people who are important to me. Especially God.
  18. I was wondering, when Ive been spending time with the Lord I cnt figure out why I start distancing myself from my friends...i dnt know if tht is a good thng or a bad thing My sister made a good point to me recently. She said, wht the other person is doing wrong has nothing to do with me, they will change in their time, & if anything we should love them the same. I felt tht she was right me getting cloaer to god should not affect how I treat those close to me. How does somebodg balance God & thoer loved ones??? Because when I do spend time with him I get real still on the inside, which trigfwrs the urge to distance. I dnt want anyone around me to think tht im better than them because I am not. I need to learn gow to balance the two.
  19. Good morning, I was wondering wht does the bible say about the spirit of guilt? & how do I overcome this? Guilt has a very strong hold in my life. Especially when it comes to my friendships. Ive wronged them & they've forgiven me reapeatedly. My friends & I are getting older & I realize tht not everyone is as forgiving & maybe I deserve not to be forgiven. I dnt know how to cope with the things ive done because ive never had to face them. I see my friends everyday & there isnt a fay tht goes by tht somethng ive done wrong doesnt creep into my mind. I feel like it torments me. Yhere are days when im doing good it feels like I might beat this but no sooner, a problem arises & I hear tht im not doing as great as I thought & im back to square one. This guilt runs deeper than just my friendships it affects the way I deal with my family. The enemys goal is to steal, kill, & destroy. Im starting to wonder what if he suceeds? I think tht my friends deserve to have someone better than me as a friend & tht maybe things would be better if I were dead. I dnt know what else needs to happen but im getting tired & im not sure how long I can keep doing this.
  20. Good morning. Im trying to make sense of some things & I am also seeking advice about this. One of my best friends is moving back to nevada in about a month. Now when she left I was sad about it but I felt tht I could relax. I usually feel like im wlkng on egg shells. When we met we didnt exactly care for each other but being tht we have a bond strong bond with our friend we learned to get along. But im guessing now its time to be honest with ourselves. when she said was coming back i didnt want to go back to the wlkng on eggshells feeling, & I felt so guilty about tht because this is my friend. I told my sister about it & she told me how I was feeling wasnt right. She was right, I prayed & asked the lord to forgive me. She's done nothing wrong to me. She has one of the biggest hearts ive ever seen thts why she's my friend, & I miss my friend..i felt tht I overcame those feelings. So last night my sister told me thtmy best friend feels tht we dnt have a bond like she & my sister do. We barely tlk so lets just take this for wht it is. Our friendship is not wht we think & we shouldnt fake it.she is not wrong. My first question is, when it appears tht we have reached the point of overcoming an issue we had with someone, how come something bad still happens? She said she loves me but I feel like were not going to be friends anymore eventhough tht could change. Yesterday, I prayed & asked the lord to begin preparing my heart. I need him to make whatever changes he needs to make within me & now this. When I found out this information I thought " wht did I do?" & did I do something wrong? Ive been really trying to changr & then I heard everything happens for a reason. I want our friendship to be mended but I dnt want to let her anyone dwn likre ive done before. I respect & appreciate her saying how she felt because she didnt want to hurt me. I just need to know whts going on in the spiritual relm. Is this apart of gods plan, was this a consequence of somethng I did? Or maybe the enemys at it again..somethngs going on.
  21. Hello, im leaving u an update on my job..i picked up my schedule today. I think my hrs have been cut. The lowest is 24 & thts wht I got. Im usually get 32hrs. Si now im wondering whts next. Its already been tsken care of im just curious as to how....thnk u for taking the time to respond to my post & I will continue to keep u posted on whts going on...
  22. yes, its nemo. thts my favorite movie lol...i have a question. When u say tht god wants me to rest wht does he mean by tht? As u've probably read im kinda troubled about somethings. Its amazing how now tht ive attmpted to wlk with god (feels more like im scooting) how severe my problems really are. I am in need of a huge breakthrough from him & it worries me tht I feel like I cnt overcome it. He told me through some1 recently tht he has a BIG plan for me & ever since then I kid u not the enemy has been so busy. Its ridiculous.
  23. Hello, I am seeking prayer for strength & guidance with my job. Im having a hard time getting along with the people I wrk with. Im not sure how long im gonna have this job. I just need enough time to transfer, or find another job. Im praying that I will trust tht god knows wht hes doing & tht my situation is already fixed. I am attempting to begin my wlk with christ & the enemy is really busy so im guessing tht im doing somethng right.
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