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Deborah

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Everything posted by Deborah

  1. You have a salary +the peace of God Your coworker has a higher salary minus a complaining spirit and she isn't as competent as you. So the question is: who is the one ahead???? You are!!!! When God blesses you he adds no sorrow with it. Your coworker's "prosperity" isn't really prosperity
  2. Yes Amen! I bet you're so glad that mountain is behind you!
  3. Cholette and Astra make some very excellent points. Could I just add a little tiny bit more? I know what it's like to want to turn away from God, to never step into a church ever again. When I was first saved, I could spend hours and hours in the Word, hours praying, etc, but after living through some terrible things and going through a time where I didn't even know if I believed in God anymore, I took baby steps toward Him. I read from a children's illustrated Bible for awhile, like maybe a story a day. Some days I could read only one verse out of the Bible. It's okay to be honest with God. I told Him I was angry with Him for not protecting me in the way I thought I should have been protected. I still am not back to the radical person I was when I was first saved and I feel like I'm still healing, but I CAN see light at the end of this tunnel. The darkness does end, so hold on and don't be afraid. I'm not yet getting the answers for the question "What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life, Lord?" but I do notice the the Lord leading me day by day, hour by hour and that has to be good enough for now.
  4. Yes, thank you DS and Cholette! I very much believe the doctors we were seeing that were 4 hours away--well they were assignment, not vice versa. When it became clear they had exhausted all their treatment options, particularly one doctor and his entire staff gathered around us and thanked us for how we had treated THEM. I was a little astounded. The trip 14 hours away was to encourage an Israeli saleswoman and also to minister to my husband's sister. The local doctor now--we are praying for his father who is very ill. When my husband first got hurt I got that verse in James that tells us to count it all joy when we fall into various trials. I didn't want that to be my verse. I wanted it to be something like "I am the God that healeth thee." Do I believe the Lord could reach down right now and heal my husband as he lies in his hospital bed? ABSOLUTELY!!!!! Yet so far in this trial I know my heart and my husband's heart have been changed for the better. I know I can testify that God provides--there have been times when I've fretted over bills, only to see a financial miracle the next day or so. Perfect faith, complete, lacking nothing, like James says--that's what God is after in me. I know I have stumbled in this trial, but God has helped me up every time and I know I owe much of the victories I've had to the prayers others have prayed. A very famous basketball coach taught his players to always acknowledge those who assisted--so if a player made a basket because someone else had passed the ball to him, that player had to at least nod to his teammate. The message was, "You helped me. I could have not done that without you." So to everyone who is reading this, to everyone who has prayed, I want to nod to you and celebrate your role in what I know is going to be a great victory.
  5. My husband and I went on a 14-hour train ride (one way) to consult a big-name doctor, only to have my husband's wound get infected after only a few days of following that doctor's advice. I felt an urgency this morning to consult a local doctor; he saw my husband this early afternoon and admitted him to the hospital and did surgery on him tonight. We are told to expect a week-long stay. I have learned so much through this. Another woman in the waiting room tonight was waiting through a 4-hour-long surgery her husband had. Yes, I'm weary a lot of times, but many people have steeper mountains to climb than I do. That woman needed prayer and I know that was part of my assignment tonight. As vessels of the Holy Spirit, we are to be a blessing wherever we go, ever vigilant to look for opportunities to help others, even if it is "just" to pray for them. Doctors do not know everything and it is so important to follow God's leading all the time, even if "experts" disagree.
  6. Tests yesterday show my stepmom still has cancer. She has to do chemo afterall unless of course she gets healed.
  7. All who seek for the Lord diligently WILL find Him if they seek for Him with all their hearts, intellectuals or not!
  8. This reminds me a little of 1 Samuel 25 where Abigail bided her time to confront her drunk fool husband and God took vengeance.
  9. Yes, God alone deserves the praise for this situation. I was really upset for awhile today when I heard this guy had had a knife.
  10. I just found out this guy did manage to cut someone's hand before he got wrestled down.
  11. Last month my brother got married. I felt very led to make him and his bride a wedding cake (there's a picture of one of the tiers I made in the creativity section of this site). On the way to the wedding with my husband and son and the three wedding cake tiers, the alternator on our minivan gave out and stranded us in a town about an hour away from home. My brother-in-law came to our rescue. My son, the wedding cake and I got into my brother-in-law's vehicle and went the rest of the way to the wedding, my husband stayed behind to take care of the van. The trip the rest of the way was icy and there were a lot of bumps in the road, but somehow my cake made it to the wedding with only one daisy a little bent in on one side. We had missed the wedding ceremony itself, but there was a reception/dance thing at a supper club. Now I don't drink alcohol or dance, but all my brothers and sisters and their kids do. Family gatherings are never easy for me and this day I felt like a stranger on an alien planet. I watched one of my sister in laws get so drunk she couldn't even get her coat on by herself. I sat at a table across from my 89-year-old father, wishing I could just leave. My brother-in-law and his family (my taxi) weren't in any hurry to go, so I just sat there and tried to talk to people as they came to my table. A lot of people said very nice things about the cake I made. Anyway, I was sitting at the table and a guy comes up behind me and starts massaging my shoulders and whispers in my ear, "Do you want to dance?" I could smell alcohol on his breath. "No, thank you," I said. "Are you sure?" he asked. "No thank you," I said again. He reached down and touched my right breast. I was shocked. I froze. I just didn't know what to do. He moved on and I was glad to see him go. Well eventually my brother-in-law and his family decided to leave the dance. Just yesterday, my niece sent me some pictures of the wedding and there were a couple pictures of a guy lying on the floor with several men on top of him. I asked her what the photos were about. This was her answer: The guy they were tackling had a knife! He was the one who was asking you and everyone else, including Grandpa to dance!! Obviously very drunk and got worse as the night progressed. He was cussing at everyone and then fell off his barstool when it was realized he had a knife, so as he was down they were trying to get the knife away which took that many guys to do it!! That's Jr's hand you can see on the guy's face! ( dad had him by the wrist with the knife and he wouldn't let go still so Jr was punching him. yikes!! Then the cops came :) Quite the interesting end to the night! So I read this account and I start beating myself up for not at least slapping the guy who touched me inappropriately. Then the Holy Spirit came and comforted me in a way I don't even think I can really relay to you. He showed me how he guarded my lips and emotions from reacting to a dangerous man--how this man could have really hurt me or my elderly father. YET God dealt with this creep when strong men were around and he got what was coming to him! THEN God showed me other times when I have beat myself up for not defending myself, for not getting in people's faces over some injustice and how this was HIS doing, how He eventually brought justice into the situation. Am I saying defending oneself is wrong? Absolutely not! I have stood up to some very intimidating people and have been told I'm pretty scary when I want to be. Yet God is our defender, a very present help in trouble!
  12. You are welcome! I pmed you, hope it sets you free!
  13. Yes he does struggle with lack of confidence at times--I know when he was only 15 and in the process of becoming an Eagle Scout, for his board of review he had to go by himself and sit in front of 10 men he didn't know who asked him questions about half an hour. I think this would be terrifying for anyone, much less someone who has trouble getting words out because of verbal apraxia. I know he was able to get through this because people were praying for him. David told me later a guy asked him a really tough, nit-picky question right off the bat during this interview. Because he had prepared so well, he knew the answer and it was like he won the room over right away. I know this was God helping him. I think you may be suffering from a spirit of intimidation. I know a popular Christian author who has written a book about this--I can pm you details if you want. Intimidation has kept many Christians from flowing in the gifts they have and has stolen much from the body of Christ. I keep thinking too of Matthew 10:19 and 20 where Jesus tells his disciples to not worry when they are brought before authorities : "....do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak, for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you." This may very well be a verse for you to stand on.
  14. My son has speech apraxia--it's a condition that some people have after they have had strokes, where their minds know what to say, but the words just won't come out of their mouths. My son hasn't had a stroke, but he has fought this condition all his life. Yet he can stand in front of a crowd and deliver smooth messages. Why? The answer is this in large part: practice, practice, practice. He would rehearse his speeches ahead of time to me, over and over and over again until I was cross eyed. The result? When he became an Eagle Scout and delivered a 5 minute speech in a large auditorium, there wasn't a dry eye in the place, the same with his graduation speech. Is there anyway you could find a friend or two and have them play job interviewers and practice like Daisy suggested? There are some supplements my son takes that he says have been helpful to him, perhaps they could help you although you likely don't have the same condition my son has and a technique an occupational therapist recommended to us. Okay, well that's my two cents. I pray you learn how to jump over this hurdle because I know you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
  15. Yes, well the ulcer appeared in May and unfortunately hasn't healed yet despite continual doctoring. We may have to go to a city that's about 14 hours away for 4 weeks for some intensive treatment. I DO NOT WANT TO DO THAT!!!!! Another local doctor has another option, but we would have to get approval from worker's compensation for that procedure and of course there's no guarantees even the 4-week procedure will be successful. Last night I had a dream about a black snake trying to bite me. I've been seeing some awesome life-saving answers to the prayers I pray for other people, but as yet no answers here...
  16. Jesus, help Habakkuk make the right decision. Guide him by Your peace. Let him know very clearly which path he should choose and when he should choose it. You say in Your Word Your sheep know Your voice. Let this sheep know Your voice and let all other voices be silent that would lead him in the way of destruction. I thank you, Father God, for being our provider, a very present help in trouble. Amen God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. THEREFORE WE WILL NOT FEAR even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea. Psalm 46:1-2
  17. I take my husband to the doctor at least once a week, often more, so I've read more magazines while sitting in waiting rooms in the last 6 months than probably my whole life. I AM SO TIRED of the trash that's in even main-stream magazines!!!! I was reading one article that said most marriages would be better if couples spent their summers apart!!! What?????Parenting advice is probably come of the worst hell-inspired child-damaging advice I've ever read, clothed in a veil of "expertise." I am trying to steer clear of most magazines anymore...and don't even ask me to get started on how girls and women are exploited!!!!!!
  18. You weren't hijacking my thread! Blessings to you, I'm glad this helped you. In 2 Corinthians 1:8 the APOSTLE PAUL says in Asia he and his crew there were "burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life." Yes, life can be overwhelming! BUT Paul goes on to say these trials are designed so we learn not to trust in ourselves, but in God. A friend of mine recently told me that life here on earth for the unsaved is the best there is (hell is a lot worse), but for the saved Christian, life here on earth is the worst there is--heaven awaits!
  19. The Bible says godliness with contentment is great gain, but I've been discontent for a long time now. I tend not to be as materialistic as most people I know, but I've been discontented with where I live, my marriage, my extended family--just a lot of things. I know sometimes discontentment can be from the Lord--a woman I know who was in a physically abusive marriage got discontent enough to finally leave her husband and this saved her life--but for me, I've been where I'm supposed to be, doing what the Lord has asked of me and I've done a LOT of murmuring and complaining. I've kept a lot of this discontentment to myself, but I know my attitude has not been pleasing to the Lord and has been uncomfortable for people who have to live with me. I also know there are carnal people out there who are reasonably content--perhaps they're rich, perhaps satan doesn't harrass them much because they are no threat to him--but this kind of contentment is dependant on circumstances. When the money runs out, when faced with cancer, when a spouse dies, this kind of contentment vanishes. But it's godliness with contentment that is great gain. It's that contentment that comes from peace, a fruit of an intimate relationship with Jesus. Godliness with contentment is ready to say "Whatever, Lord. Though you slay me, though you ask me to stay in an unloving marriage, though you ask me to live amongst people who continually reject me, though you ask me (fill in the blank) I WILL serve You, I WILL worship You. I may fall, but I will repent and ask you to lift me up again and restore me once again." So anyway, I've decided to stop murmuring in my tent. I have decided to cut off relationships with people who have supported me but have also sowed seeds of discontentment in me. I know this resolve is a big threat to the enemy because frankly all hell has broken loose in my life lately. Pray for me, brothers and sisters, that I remain here, in the lap of Jesus, where I can't help but be content.
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