Being Single

[Escogida 0]

Hello all and thanks for this great help, this is a burning in my heart because not only I am one of them but also that I see women' lifes not been fulfilled. Unfortunately, in our local congregation the needs for single women/men are not being addressed, and most of the topics are directed to families in which most of singles feel out of place. I am praying for this issue. What i think is even more serious is the fact that we are living in an environment in which so much fear had been put over singles in terms of marriage that these people are like ice. We are being put aside, and I have noticed a trend. Because of the fear, singles have either meet someone desperately, and married almost inmediately for fear to be part of the non-married group or either go to the world, pick a guy, marry and suffer for the rest of their lifes. I hear ideologies that are not bible based, for i believe what the bible says about man, "it is not good for man to be alone". Also, I understand that we have a sovereign God whom he selects few to be single and separate for his service only. It is sad that including me, in our places, many of our females are sitting there without any hope, some of them have resignated to believe that is not God's will for them to be married. Many fear and misinformation have made them scare enough to even strive to know someone. Please help how can we be educated in such a guy we understand God's principle & will for our lives in terms of marriage? ... considering some of us have never been married, but we dont have a good experience with marriages around us (our parents), and some of them have been abandoned, cheated by their husbands?

[Jadams 0]

WOW Escogida, you have expressed something that is not only happening in YOUR congregation. I am recently divorced and I've noticed the same thing. Even while being married I used to say, what about the singles? I think there needs to be MORE enrichment classes for the singles than anything else because, as you mentioned, many are losing hope and settling or just throwing their hands up and saying God doesn't care.

Since there isn't much for me in my unmarried state right now, it has allotted me the time to sit at the feet of God and learn from him. All we can do is pray and believe God that he is putting some things together for us. Believe this...if we are feeling the deficit in the amount of info that is out there, you KNOW He does.

i look forward to what others have to say about this. Great topic!!!

[LovetoworshipJesus 0]

Hi Some of you may know by now I know who my helpmate is and this idea not sure if this is the holy spirit telling me to call him. Truth is I called him before in the past and I have not been successful. I dont want to be trick by the enemy again. I have not spoken to him since last year June 2008 So I need your prayer. It s been tuff for me because I know who he is and I actually have his telephone number and I been very good about not calling him. I know God said He who finds a wife will rcv favor from the Lord. I really been doing good and I dont want to mess up. I know there is a season for us to come together. Just incase you are wondering my helpmate has been confirmed manytime through dreams and visions and prophetically through others. I know he is coming soon I just dont know when. Because I know who my husband is I made the mistake trying to help God out and calling him and trying to tell him what God promise and reality it was not my place nor the season. So I learned the hard way. So please people of God I need your prayers now. Perhaps he is on the way and the enemy is trying to distract me. I dont know please help!!!

[Cholette 0]

LovetoWorship...

I can identify with you because I know who my husband is too...I have known since 1991. We don't know each other like you know yours, but the time is coming. I no longer worry about it, nor am I consumed...I just trust God and I sense that he is very near, but even that won't get me off of my mark.

The only thing I can share with you is something that my pastor told me a long time of go...whenever you are anxious about anything, you are not ready to receive it. Jesus left us peace...he also said to cast the whole of your care upon HIM because he cares for you and do be anxious for NOTHING. The fact that we know who our mates are is a blessing and that means that there is a divine purpose for God revealing this to us. Rest assured that God will not and cannot lie.

In your "signature" you say "I Live For Jesus"...continue to do that and at the right and appointed time, he will arrive. I wouldn't call him, write him or do anything until you are in that place of peace and not being anxious because you don't want your emotions to lead you. He will find you...trust that.

[Cholette 0]

Escogida,

I'm not sure why the church as a whole do not have MORE for the singles. I know that my pastor says that the word over the pulpit is a singles ministry all by itself, but as a single woman there are trials and temptations that I face everyday that needs to be addressed among my single peers or by a message directed to the single state.

We have a singles ministry, but it's not active...which is sad. We need to pray for change in all of the churches. There are some really good ministries out there that have wonderful singles groups, but for the most part there isn't anything. I would like to see someone have "singles retreats" where we go away and receive from the Lord...that's just me! That might me a mess if we have males and females that don't have renewed minds and who go just to "hook up".

I guess what I'm saying is that maybe since we question "why", maybe that is a call for us to pray. The fervent prayers of the righteous have MUCH POWER!!!!

[Desiree (Starpop) 1]

I have been to some churches (or should I say "Assemblies") that have programs and activities designed JUST FOR SINGLES. Not only does it bring "like minded individuals together" but it helps those who are single to focus on God (appreciating their singleness) and meet and greet within the group to find future spouses and have general fun (without worrying about whether or not they're staying out too late away from the spouses! )

It is sad that there are some assemblies that don't have these programs available for singles--that's why some go back into the world, have rushed marriages (as mentioned to not feel "left out" or to burn), and totally miss out on God's will for their lives because of no direction and support (this is true for my parents home church). There's people that just don't have the desire to "put programs together" or to get involved--there ARE people that are hungry and have the desire but don't know where to turn.

We need to have some strong bible-believing and faith filled christians to start to REALLY pray and begin these singles' programs in the church. So I definitely agree with you on the praying part CHOLETTE! I personally enjoy being single (this hasn't always been true) but when I recognized that I can do so much now for God instead of waiting until I was married, my attitude started changing! Marriage takes a lot of work and some just aren't ready for that. Lets not waste any more time "passively waiting" and get involved as much as we can for the kingdom of God and before you know it, the one that God has for you will show up out of no where--and that's when you'll be ready!!!

God bless
thanks for posting
desiree

[LovetoworshipJesus 0]

Amen !! Cholette Thank you for your words of wisdom and I will not call him I will Wait. Thank you I realize when God wants us to something it will be so strong in my spirit that I have to do what he tells me to do. I rcv a recent word from the Lord a few weeks ago that my helpmate is coming, So my favorite in the entire world King Jesus is making room for him and other great blessing Thank you Lord. I pray for ever single person who is waiting for there helpmate that you will give them the desires of the heart in Jesus name Amen!! Love ya!!

[Cholette 0]

LovetoWorship...

I thought about you this morning when I read this scripture. I think all of us single people could really benefit from this...

"But as for me, I trust in You O Lord, I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hand".
Psalm 31:14, 15a

The commentary that is in my Bible regarding this scripture says:

"In saying 'my times are in Your hand', David was expressing his belief that all of life's circimstances are under God's control. Knowing that God loves and cares for us enables us to keep steady in our faith regardless of our circumstances. It keeps us from sinning foolishly by taking matters into our own hands or resenting God's timetable."

As singles we need to know that GOD'S LOVE NEVER FAILS!! We truly and honestly can't grasp how much He loves us. He won't fail us. It would behoove us to do what Jesus said to 10 servants in Luke 19..."Occupy until I come"...this means, get busy until I show up for you.

Keep on Faithing...

[LovetoworshipJesus 0]

Amen Thank you

[Escogida 0]

Thanks for your input, I guess we all agree that prayer is the one answer!

[Delightful soul 0]

You have expressed what has been on my heart for years.........

I am in australia and it is the same here where the church is totally family oriented.

I went to a church service with my boyfriends daughter a few weeks back (it has been my first relationship in ten years after being single) and I was welcomed like I have never been before????

I really do believe that that many people are threatened by single people and that the church is being exclusive by being afraid of single people. I have also found that being older and in my 30s that the older I have become the more I have been pushed aside and well, realistically am too old for the young groups if you know what I mean...........

I don't know what to say except you have spoken what has been on my heart for years and well, it is time we prayed and stood for Him to bring peace into this area, not only that for Him to give us all the desires of our hearts in this area...........

C

[True Flight 0]

I hear you girls loud and clear on this subject. I have been married going on 4 years now, but reading this brought back a lot of emotions.

I think I could of filled a swimming pool with tears over those many years. 15 years to be exact.

The last couple of years I was at the end of my rope. I did a bit of self destructing.

Like you guys I would only date who God had for me, so it was a lonly 15 years.

When God did bless me it was amazing, I can honestly say I would do it all over again for the girl God sent me. I would even wait another 15 years for her now that I know what I know.

I think as singles we gain a relationship with Jesus, that those who married young will never have.

When they are having dinner with there spouse, you are having dinner with Jesus.
They tuck each other in at night, but Jesus tucks you in at night.
Now that I'm married I miss all the time I had with Jesus.

I get all teary just thinking about it.

The times we laughed together, or cryed together.
I think of the jokes we told each other, and the prank he pulled on me. (I still laugh about that one every time I think of it)

God will bless you more then you can even phanthom, enjoy the time you have alone with him now, Because when your married you will have less time for him.

We were married in a buetyfull castle, we honymooned in the Caribean for 2 weeks, and we have an 8 week old baby.

God is great.
Me and wife


Both my daughters

[Delightful soul 0]

Wowsers what an encouraging story! Wait on Him hey! :cute:

[Virtuous 0]

Have you talked to your Pastor and ask her/him to seek God with you about starting the Singles Ministry you desire to have in church?

[---0001 0]

What true flight said brought tears to my eyes because its all so true. Am a single, and i know who my husband is too, tried to help God and am sure love2worship can back me up on the fact that it doesn't work.

Am at peace now, and i know i'll miss my times with God, He knows me through and through. And most times i think He wants us settled in our love and knowledge of Him, so that even when we are married and have less time for Him, we'll have already gained enough to see us through.

He sees the end from the beginning not vice versa, please remember that.

[chica4christ 0]

Its GOOD to be single

I ran across this the other day and found it EXTREMELY encouraging!
God Bless - Stephani

What makes you think that just because I am an attractive woman of God
that I'm incomplete without a mate? Who told you that without a man
somethings missing from my life? And if so, what would that be?


Love? I love myself and more importantly I love the Lord. He told me
that when I delight in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart.

Security? I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.

Intimacy? Now, how's a man going to get to know me when he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord.

See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth and a gem does not seek,
it is sought. I'm single and that's all right with me. See, it's not
that I oppose relationships it's that I detest co-dependency. As a
woman I know it is not my role to chase after any man. Esther 2:14
reads that I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted in me he
will call me by my name.

My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate. I am to be
cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored. It's not my job to convince
him or convict him of that. My mate will already know it and
consistently show it and he will stay on his knees daily - not just to
adore me but to praise the Lord for the virtuous woman he has found.

So, when you see me by myself - I'm not alone. I know what I have
coming to me. I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to
be!



- Author Unknown

[Virtuous 0]

Now that's what I'm talking about ! Thanks for sharing.

[LovetoworshipJesus 0]

Encouraging!! thanks

[Cholette 0]

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it!!!!!!!!!!! My favorite part is:

See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth and a gem does not seek, it is sought.

Thank ya Jesus!! :cute:

[chica4christ 0]

I'm glad ya'll were blessed by this

[HisLightbeam 0]

Lol, I feel like we have our own little school of the prophets, and it just goes to show the fact that God is able to put together those who are of like mind, who have similar situations, and who have gone through similar situations. We know that we are not alone, that what we walk through daily is common to man, and woman:), and that we are able to encourage ourselves and others through faith and testimony that God is not a man that He should lie, neither the Son of man that He should repent of what He has said. That's great news, especially when we begin to doubt God's word. We can turn that doubt within ourselves, and say, "God, I believe (whatever You told me about my future and how I can give you glory), but help my unbelief." God is such a God of grace. I have had a series of defunct mornings, but I am stubbornly looking at the Word and the world and to see the great contrast. God said it was not good for a man and woman to be alone. We are supposed to look like Elohim, and produce godly offspring who will honor Him and walk in His statutes. I believe that God will do whatever it takes to maintain His glory and in such a way that His Word will still be line upon line, precept upon precept, without violating the design of God.

[HisLightbeam 0]

I believe that man can subvert the design of God. We see it everyday. But I know that when God tells me the outcome, it is because He has already seen the end from the beginning. He already knows what we need, and He is making our mates for us. So, we all have spiritual, relational and eternal longings. The spirit of loneliness tries to connect to us with the spirit of fear. But perfect love cast out all fear. I am preaching to myself. The bottom line is that when God gives you that type of knowledge, He also says, "It is finished," because He is a God of eternity that steps into our time, but not only that, everything He has ever done for us was already done for us. That's good news. In my humanness, I forget that, but the truth is the truth. He has already done everything for me. I am just intersecting with my blessings and trials and shaping, and going from glory to glory, along the lifewalk that God has given me in my length of days. You guys have encouraged me once again.

[---0001 0]

Thanks for that word Lightbeam, i just came in contact with Mark 11 23-24, and i realised that all we really need to do is believe without doubting. God is always true to His word.

[princessdelia 0]

Was blessed reading this thread!

[Boscoe Jenkins 0]

I have a question. How do u know if that person is for you? I know there's someone out there for me because i feel it in my spirit, & they feel close by. I think I may have found him but there's a problem. We've dated before & it did'nt end well. When trust is broken its hard to rebuild it. I've had dreams about him my mother & her friend came to me in that dream & told me that he's the one for me but he's not ready which i understand being that we both have things to work on in our lives. We were hanging out one day & there was something that he said I just pieced this together recently. My best had a dream that i was pregnant & i said something about taco bell.(In my waking life) My ex said something about me being pregnant & going to taco bell. These two people dont know each other from a can of paint & they've said the same things lol. I dont know how to make heads or tails of weather he's the one for me or not...True Fight, thank you for bringing that to our attention I never would have thought or looked at it that way...I pray that what you've told us helps us aim towards a stronger relationship with the lord...thanks

[Virtuous 0]

Raye,
The only advice I can give you about "knowing" if this man is your husband is to do what I did. I humbly went to God and was honest with Him about my feelings towards this man. I then asked Him to confirm or correct if he was the man He chose for me to be my husband. He answered me quickly. I must say you have to REALLY want Him to answer because it may not be what you want to hear. In my case, it wasn't what I wanted to hear but what could I do...I asked, right?!