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madcarper

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Everything posted by madcarper

  1. madcarper
    feckin hell m8 feel for ya, i'm sure you will bounce back just give it a bit of time . but try and upgrade your security and be sure you're not followed home. got me thinking of better security now. hope the xj is not to bad.
  2. madcarper
    when king Arthur was off looking for the holy grail he had Guinevere fitted with a chastity belt with a small guillotine in it to stop anyone interfering with her while he was away. when he returns much later he asks all his knights to drop there pants and the only one still with a cock is Lancelot. Lancelot he says you alone can I trust faithfull friend what shall I do with these traitors??? come on man speak up have you lost your tongue????
  3. madcarper

    whats

    madcarper posted a topic in The Comedy Club

    whats seven inches long with a purple head and women love it... a twenty pound note..
  4. madcarper

    after

    madcarper posted a topic in The Comedy Club

    no dates or sex for 5 years a woman goes to see a Chinese expert sex therapist, Doctor Chang. he says "take off all yor croase, get down and craw reery reery fast to other side room" she does "ok craw reery reery fast back" as she did doctor chang shook his head "yor probrem vewy vewy bad, worse case of ed zachery desease I ever sor, dat why you got no man" she says "god whats ed zachery desease" doctor says "its when yor face look ed zachery like yor arse"
  5. madcarper

    a girl

    madcarper posted a topic in The Comedy Club

    sneezed in the pub and her glass eye flew out and landed in my hand. I took it back to her and we got chatting. after a few beers and a bit of flirting I took her home and we had sex all night . I asked her, do you have sex with everyone on a first date. she said no, only those that catch my eye.....
  6. madcarper

    my missus

    madcarper posted a topic in The Comedy Club

    asked me what I want for my birthday, being a startreck fan I told her a black hole would be nice, I think she's taken it the wrong way...
  7. madcarper

    my missus

    madcarper posted a topic in The Comedy Club

    says if she finds me on this porn site again she will bang my head against the fecking keyboardcchhjjdfhurbbbgbhjhgjkhfcgkljffvgvcvndcffgggg
  8. madcarper

    crash

    madcarper replied to madcarper's topic in The Comedy Club

    I've got a few more mike
  9. madcarper
    feckin hell m8 I think I would be leaving some little surprises (if you know what I mean) just in case they come back again.
  10. madcarper

    crash

    madcarper posted a topic in The Comedy Club

    a two seater light aircraft has crash landed in a cemetery in Dublin, the irish police have recovered hundreds of bodies.
  11. madcarper
    another holiday, hope you get deli belly or a case of the only joshing m8 have a great time and happy birthday.
  12. madcarper
    that's a shitter m8, hope you get it back, I would be moving the xjr they might come back for it.
  13. madcarper
    lets face it you have got to be a total fecking dick to brake check a rangerover or any car for that matter when you're on a bike. its a no brainer you are gonna come off worse.
  14. madcarper
    I know m8 I've had some dogs in my time huh anyway I would rather pick up horse shit than dog shit anytime.
  15. madcarper
    how is it when your dog takes a dump you are expected to clean it up ,but if your fecking horse takes a massive dump on the road its ok for the rider to just fecking leave it especially as its a bloody hazard to anyone on two wheels. fecking seing this more and more .rant over.
  16. madcarper
    surely you get a new thrust bearing with a clutch kit.
  17. madcarper
    some kids only learn the hard way tony, I should know I have a son just like that.
  18. madcarper
    yes m8 loads of bikes out I think everyones trying to get another ride in before the weather changes.
  19. madcarper
    dickheads on bikes with a gang mentality looking for confrontation i'm guesing the guy panicked most people would put in that situation unlucky for him he killed someone knowing America he will probably claim self defence using deadly force.
  20. madcarper
    deffo cooler yesterday
  21. madcarper
    very lucky he didn't hit the end of the barrier.
  22. madcarper
    is that fitted mark if so its a good price m8.
  23. madcarper
    had a run up hawes on sunday , the rozzers had 3 speed traps set up on the A684 wtf, guese it could have something to do with that guy who was killed last week. on top of that there was a t**t in a lambo hoofing it thru the main street while a fecking special constable stood and watched him.
  24. madcarper
    that looks good mark great find m8.
  25. madcarper
    Thats true dick. I know the location and route I just need numbers. 666 i'm in, ian.

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