Oldfart

For those that dont have a garage. Ive found these blue bags from IKEA brilliant for protecting the wheels. Bike cover removed

Complete 'tosser', nearly got took out in the first few yards

bottle

Amazing feat of heroism

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tape

Female quote:- 'I didn't slap you. I high fived your face!'

Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her first-grade pupils. "Johnny, what is your problem?" Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!" Ms Brooks had had enough, so she took Johnny to the principal's office. The principal agreed that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. He started by asking Johnny some simple arithmetic. "What is three times three?" "Nine, Sir." "How much is nine times six?" "Fifty-four." And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looked at Ms Brooks and said, "I think Johnny can go to third grade! He seems smart enough." Ms Brooks said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Johnny both agreed. Ms Brooks asked, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Johnny, after a moment, answered "Legs, Ma'am" "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" "Pockets!" "OK, what does a dog do that a man steps into?" "Pants." "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" "Coconut. !" "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny was taking charge. "Bubblegum!" "What does a man do standing up, a woman does! sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" "Shake hands, Ma'am." "Now for some "Who am I" sort of questions, OK? First one. You stick your poles inside me, you tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before you do." Johnny, quick as ever, answered, "Tent!" "OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense. But Johnny was on the ball with "Wedding Ring!" "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good." "Nose." "Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver." "Arrow." "Good, now for the last one. What word starts with an 'F', ends in K', and means a lot of heat and excitement?" "Fire truck, Ma'am!" The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send him to university!!!!, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

Took my Triumph Sprint in to have valves checked and throttle bodies balanced. They fitted new air cleaner as well. No adjustment needed to valves. £280. Thank god I didnt have full service. As a retired mechanic I can do it myself. Just downloaded TuneECU from internet so I can now check the throttles and electronics myself.

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friendly

Well worth it to the winner. Am already booked in from Saturday to Saturday. Good luck to all who enter, be nice if it was won by a forum member

These are BA staff at a party. It looks as though they are miming but they are actually singing. Good voices. Its brilliant

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fireworks

Well done Stue

Nowt I divorced her last September As the saying goes 'If it's got tits or tyres it's gonna be trouble!'

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Flamin' Nora. Hope she dont turn round quick, smash yer brains in!!!

16: Better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!

Hope you get sorted soon Steve

About right there QUANTAS QU rs and Nancys Trained As Stewards

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