Oldfart

I agree

I use the super unleaded. For the extra cost its worth it. Cleaner burn/emissions and yes I get further on a tank. The bike is more responsive as well

Check these out. Theyre Thatcham approved and made of Boron Steel. Not cheap but 'kin good. I use them http://www.almax-security-chains.co.uk/

http://stuffmomsendsme.posterous.com/fw-fwd-1763

A 72-year-old man goes for a annual check up. All of his tests come back normal so the doctor says, "Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" Harry replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof!, the light goes on. When I'm done, poof!, the light goes off." "Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Harry's wife. "Mrs. White," he says, "Harry is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?" "OH GOOD GRIEF!" His wife exclaims, "He's pissing in the fridge again!"

Cleaned my bike as well today plus a new BT023 on the rear

1. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...' 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.' 4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't see any. 5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.' 6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. 7 . A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'. 8. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle. 9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly.. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. 11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.' 12. 'Doctor I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home' 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.' 13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy' 14. Guy goes into the doctors. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom.' 'How's that?' 'Don't you start.' 15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom! 16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A 'fsh.' 17.. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it..' 18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think its Colin. 19. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. 20. You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.' 21. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places' The doctor said, Well don't go there anymore 22. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

"Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them..... Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up..........and all the other bells started to ring..!!!!!!".

My ex-wife asked me one breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" I declined. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime, she asked me if I would like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" I declined. "The Viagra," he says, "Its really spoiled my need for food." Come dinnertime, she asks if I want anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?" I decline again. "No," I say, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry." "Well," she says, "Would you mind getting off me? I'm bloody starving."

Nice one Chad

It's not what you say, but how you say it. This is a wonderful, thought-provoking, one minute clip It's not a joke, it's not religious, it's not political. Please enjoy this one minute clip; it is truly special, it has a meaning for all of us: https://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Hzgzim5m7oU&vq=medium

Try this site Iano. Biker friendly B and B's. I use it. http://www.beds4bikers.com/

For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said 'Son we'd give you one but the mortgage on this house is £280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked 'Son where are you going?' Little Joseph told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage and no bloody bike!

Looks like he overdosed on 'American Chopper!'

Mine says 'Old Farts Motorcycle Club lying about our cubic inches since 1968!' One of my others says 'Ladies, free hand cream, pump here' with an arrow pointing down to you know where

Saw this T shirt today. On the front it said 'Britney Sucks' on the back it said 'But Rihanna Swallows'

Will have a sort out Dave. Sure I can find some bits for you

I'll be there. Did it last year. Good turn out

Been out 3 times this week around Dales and Carsington Reservoir. Matlock Bath heaving with bikes as usual. Had to give the steed a little wash each time as there is still a bit of salt on the roads.

When the guy stops running place your cursor about an inch above his head http://www.selfcontrolfreak.com/pakken.html

The spoon: A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization. Very Impressive! Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?' 'Well, 'he explained,'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.' As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now..' I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?' "Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%. I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?' 'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'