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Just remember to walk in the absolute best you can in love. You may even want to send encouraging words around to the other family members so that there will be agreement at this celebration. The worse thing ever is to have disunity at the party because then it will be felt and it won't go well. We can't forget why we are having this celebration in the first case...your dad. There are MORE with you than with them and all of you who are in agreement have the power to make this the best celebration ever, even though there were drama behind the scenes. I can't wait to hear the follow-up on this one...be at peace and I will be praying as well.
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Ok, this is how I would handle it. Of course you do all of this in love and without vengeance, but I would let them do absolutely EVERYTHING...which includes the clean up. At this point, you are an "attendee". When people try to control a situation, they take on EVERYTHING. So you go to the party and celebrate the way you desire and then you leave. Taking over things mean that you are responsible for everything...not just the fun and easy parts. I would do absolutely NOTHING except for celebrating...especially since everything is based on a lie anyway. This is horrible, but yes, continue to pray for them because it's obvious that they are miserable.
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help on dealing with a stubborn friend
Cholette replied to mathieu1986's topic in Christian Counseling
Hello! I feel for your situation and I know what you are going through from a certain perspective. Your situation is fixable, but it will call for HONESTY. I believe that when you are friends with someone, there must be honest conversations so both parties will understand each other. In your situation, I believe that it's up to you to draw the line in what the two of you discuss. If the only conversation that bothers you is about your friend's view on the church and ministers, then you can say that you would like to steer away from that conversation since you do not wholeheartedly agree with their position. In friendships, we have to be gracious and merciful because we are speaking about two imperfect beings coming together and fellowshipping. You have to decipher which conversations bear fruit in you relationship and stick closer to those. If you have a person that can have a healthy debate and hear another side of a topic and it end positively, then that is even more the joy. In your situation, I believe your friend's pain is speaking volumes. Being a person myself who has suffered Church Abuse, it can definitely skew your perspective. If you feel that you can show some mercy until you have that conversation, then show it. If your relationship is in a place where it's too one sided and they can't honor your stand on not wanting to talk about it, then you have a right to move on to bring about peace in your life. I recently let go of a friendship I had with someone for over 25 years because I no longer had the wherewithal to handle their selfishness. I reached my limit and I realized that this person was taking from me more than they were giving. I know the season that I'm in so it requires for my spiritual tank to be filled a lot more often since I'm pouring out more in ministry. Try talking about steering away from that topic at first and if it works, stick around...maybe you have the answer to help them through this pain they are experience. Pray for them and ask God for his heart towards them. Maybe if your perspective of the person changes, then that could be your answer as well. I hope this helps. Blessings!!! -
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Prayer for certification - short prayer
Cholette replied to lori satterfield's topic in A Praying Place
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Ohhhh, my favorite subject...relationships! First of all my friend, you do NOT have the gift of singleness. If you did, you would be the first person who knows. You would know based on your lack of desire for marriage and/or if God has spoken to you about being single. Your mother is seems to have her own issues with men and marriage and is trying to put that on you and your Pastor, since she feels she's called to singleness, is using your inability to find a good match for yourself to say that you have "the gift". I would put off the relationship that you are building with the young man...not because he may have twisted motives or anything, but because I believe this is a season for you to really connect with God. The fact that you are feeling lonely is an indication that you are not experiencing the fulfillment of God. Spend time developing intimacy with Him. It's amazing what God will do within you and allow Him to be your Matchmaker...He's the best at it because he actually created your future husband.
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Well, I personally don't believe that the size of the celebration determines the size of the sacrifice. I believe that you can do something on a smaller scale and it mean the same. Since you are the one that may have to handle the charges, you should be the one that determines the size of the celebration. I feel it's a beautiful example of love that your father has shown your mother. People don't have that type of stamina in relationships anymore. On the other hand...if your sister in law wants to fit the bill and put all of the blood, sweat and tears into the planning, then let her do so...hehehehe! I pray you all have a wonderful time, no matter what!!
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I will be praying for you. Just know that sometimes dreams can give you a exaggerated version of the real thing. If God is showing you something that is to come, he will never cause you to not have peace or give you a reason to be fearful. It's for information so prayer can change the way things turn out. Keep your faith!!!
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