goferit

passed my test, and riding --(road legal )since 1965, but as youngsters we all rode dirt bikes, made up from all,spare,parts--(A.S.P.s), so was able to ride from about 13 yrs old... So on the road (legally ) 47yrs.--and still goin' strong... best speed last year--147..mph.(track)( legally of course. .. Truely an ol' git.. ps--just found my bike list---(i've had 26 bikes).

Decide OPT HELLO----ANY-ONE HERE ??

--- across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear. The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I'm sorry," says Joe and promises to avert his eyes. "It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. Joe, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. Joe stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Joe moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, Joe replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle, too?" ____________________

PERHAPS THEY KNEW A THING OR TWO ---WAY BACK WHEN ??

JUST KIDDIN' GUYS...TO GOOD A CHANCE TO MISS..

Decide OPT

government wins --hands down---they encourage (greed-buying)by creating a panic---ffs the drivers haven't even declared a strike date yet !! but Osborne has recouped millions of pounds worth of revenue out of this fiasco, and helped Cameron create chaos in the process---totally inept prats!! also suggesting people should store fuel at home???? how 'kin dangerous is that??--already a woman has had a serious accident ,resulting in 40% burns to her body, by transferring petrol in her kitchen, apparently. this has been handled very badly----- just, m.h.o..

YOU GOT THAT DEAD RIGHT, DICK65,--- BEST STRESS BUSTER I'VE EVER COME ACROSS..

-- comes across an asian bloke in one of his fields, the man is scooping water from the stream with one hand and drinking it. The farmer says, "eyup me owd lad, tha wants to be careful, ther's sheep shit and all sorts in that water, tha'll kill thisen" The bloke replies, "I'm very sorry, could you speak more slowly please, I have not been in your country very long, I am from Pakistan" The farmer replies......slowly. "I said if you cup both hands together you will be able to drink faster"

CLEVER--THAT.. (THUMBS UP !!)

LONGTERM

I' DID NO BETTER THAN YOU GUYS- --AT MY AGE--NOT SO MUCH A PERVERT,---- JUST THICK

If you are over 30 yrs old, you MUST take this Alzheimer's Test How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks? 1. _ _NDOM 2. F_ _K 3. P_N_S 4. PU_S_ 5. S_X 6. BOO_S | | | | | | | | | | Answers: 1. RANDOM 2. FORK 3. PANTS 4. PULSE 5. SIX 6. BOOKS You got all 6 wrong....didn't you? You do NOT have Alzheimer's! You are a Pervert!!

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down. 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Check your oil! Please. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.) 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping. 1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

shifts

IMAGE

SPOKEN

VENTURE

LUSTRE

ALARM

(big) JESSIE

ABSRACT

ART

EGGS

MAN