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Everything posted by Oldfart
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How would you feel if this happened to you?
Oldfart replied to Oldfart's topic in The Pub "Tinker and Budget"
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“Fifty Shades of Grey Hair” The missus bought a Paperback down Smith's on Saturday, I had a look inside her bag; T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Well I just left her to it, At ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread In her left hand she held a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Well forty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Doris hasn’t weathered well; She’s eighty four next week. Watching Doris bump and grind; Could not have been much grimmer. Then things went from bad to worse; She toppled off her Zimmer! She struggled back up upon her feet; A couple of minutes later; She put her teeth back in and said That I must dominate her!! Now if you knew our Doris, You’d see just why I spluttered, I’d spent two months in traction For the last complaint I’d uttered. She stood there nude and beckoned me I bent forward just a bit Then I moved, thought what the hell, And stood on her left tit! Doris screamed, her teeth shot out; My god what had I done!? She moaned and groaned then shouted out: “Step on the other one”!! Well readers, I can tell no more; About what occurred that day. Suffice to say my jet black hair,…. Turned “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
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I have created a new plate to be affixed to some drivers vehicles. It stands for Limited Intelligence. My first award goes to the woman in a Subaru 4 x 4 who drove through 3 sets of traffic light oblivious to the fact they were all on RED. The second to the knob head who tried to overtake a line of cars who had pulled over for an ambulance with blue lights on! The third to the numpty who parked outside my house totally blocking the pavement so mums had to push prams into the road. This despite the fact that there was room to park 4 cars on the road. Who would you like to see display this plate?
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Happy Birthday streetfighter
Oldfart replied to Davehutch-hutchs's topic in The Pub "Tinker and Budget"
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just won this for the RF
Oldfart replied to madsod's topic in Advice on Repairing and maintaining your bike
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As they say 'one door closes on your life, another one opens' Been there and its about right. As I said about my ex 'Halloween, the only time of year she doesnt need to dress up or wear a mask to fit in' Just take your time before getting involved again or to put it another way 'dont let yer d**k rule yer head' Best of luck to you.
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Hi just for anyone out there interested - The BBC have made a short film about Middle Aged Bikers--Born again Bikers and is due to be shown on the Inside Out programme following The One Show at 7.30pm on BBC1 on Oct 22nd it features BBC presenter Ben Jackson, John who runs The Vic in Coalville and Paul Sinclair who runs Motorcycle funerals, The filming was around The Charnwood Forest early September as the 3 amigos windle there way down twisty lanes and the open roads and chat about the freedom motorcycling gives.