exo152

My husband and I are dealing with an incredibly hard situation. Our son moved back home a few months ago. We were so happy and it was such an answer to prayer as he was living with questionable people. He is doing well, dating a nice girl, is active in church. BUT, he will not get a job. He says he cannot find one, but I never see him trying to. He sleeps late, eats our food, uses our stuff and makes excuses about why he cannot find a job. When you mention it to him he gets angry and suddenly you are the bad guy. In the last week I had to correct him for nitpicking at his young sister in a really mean way. Now he is being really nice to her, but treating me like I have done something wrong. I have expressed my concern to my husband that we are enabling him to act this way, but he is so afraid he will move back in with the people he was living with that he is giving in to him really badly. Just this morning I had to correct him and his sister for something both my husband and I had already corrected them about. He got angry and accused me of using a "mean tone". He said I have been really mean lately and chewing "everyone" out. Granted we ARE under a lot of stress and his increasing laziness only adds to the mix. But he has never been disrespectful toward me and this hurt. What to do??

My husband and I resigned from ministry after 20 plus years last June. Recently we have been praying about God's leadership in our next step. We sat and talked about it in depth last night and I was concerned to hear that my husband is considering pursuing ministry in a denomination that has a doctrine that is very opposite what we believe. He is looking at the convenience of the location, the full-time, well paid position and the fact that we have friends there (who have actually encouraged him, not realizing our beliefs are that different {spirit-filled us/Holy Spirit has passed away them}). Our children attend this church for a mid-week children's program because their best friend's mom teaches it and because we live so far from the church we do attend that a mid-week service there isn't realistic at this time. But every time I take my children to that church I just want to hurry out of there as quickly as I can. The few services we have attended there has made me feel that same way times 100!! They are currently without a pastor and have asked my husband to preach a service to fill in later this month. I think he has taken it as confirmation that this is our place. I think they just can't find anyone else to fill in on a holiday weekend. This is a really big church in our rural area, with 300 plus members.They are currently taking applications from ministers in their denomination who have the required amount of schooling from their bible schools. My husband has no degree with them, has the bare minimum degree with our own denomination and has let that lapse. I am concerned that he is building pipe dreams for what he wants and is going to be hurt and disappointed. I am also concerned that if he is hearing God on this, I will have to work in a church that just leaves me cringing every time i have to go there. Please pray that God will clearly reveal his plan for us, and that we will not reenter minister prematurely or in the wrong place. Thank you so much!!

Thank you Jasmine, that was lovely and so encouraging. Just what I needed to hear!

The last year has been particularly hard for us, following about four years in a row that have been hard.....financial strain, family problems, ministry problems, etc. Sometimes I just whisper "Jesus, I just need a season of peace." I had a dream many years ago about this time in my life that was basically a huge tornado bearing down on me and the fear so strong I couldn't speak..... But God......... He healed my Dad when the doctors gave us no hope. He brought my prodigal son home when it seemed it would never happen. He instructed a person we barely know to hand us the money to pay two house payments, of which we were behind on. She said, "God told me to do this". We were told Friday that the return on a financial decision we had made would only net us a little over $1000. We needed at least $3000. Saturday we were called by the same cpa office and they said there had been a mistake. The full amount is now over $5000. But God.......... He takes care of things we never knew we needed in ways that we never knew was even possible. He is AMAZING!!

Thank you Cholette! I receive that!! May God bless you abundantly!!

Thank you so much Cholette!! You know after I posted this prayer request, I really judged myself harshly, feeling like I was sounding like a big baby! But your post helped so much. We have been in these kind of hard places before and always in the past I felt like it was a learning experience, that I was learning things that would help me in ministry. And every time they did. When we pastored the main comment we got from visitors was how warm and friendly and "family" our church felt. But this time is different. We are so to the bone tired, not burned out, just so tired. We are in that place that if God never calls us back to ministry, we will still be happy and serve him wherever we are at. But, I do feel like we are needing some real ministry from the church we are attending. My husband met this pastor the first Sunday we attended the church. He let him know we were in a resting place and felt called to rest at his church. He was kind, prayed with my husband, then made a comment that kind of stuck with me. He made a big deal about being where God wanted us to be, and if it was there, then fine, and if it wasn't that we would find the place. He made it sound like he really didn't feel we shouldn be in his church. He also made this comment a few times from the pulpit after that; basically that he was praying that everyone there was in the place God wanted them, if not at his church, then in the right place for them. It did make me wonder. And the man has never really acknowledged us since. I am definitely praying that God show us the reasons he wants us there!

My parents have gone through this for years, but it is my mother who cannot let things go. It took us a while to realize that it isn't real memories that are her problem, but a very real mental illness. Even after treatment, things have not gotten any better. The reason I bring this up is that mental illness does not allow for forgiving and forgetting, it just focuses and holds onto and obsesses about the real or imagined wrongs. Does your husband want things to be better between the both of you? Then seek counseling and try reading "The Love Dare" (it really helped me!!). (((hugs))))!!

Wow! Thank you Deborah! That really makes sense to me. We actually attended a similar church for a short time before we took a senior pastor position ten years ago. Although at that church we did have a good relationship with the pastor, but everyone else was frigid. Our oldest son quit the children's church at that one and I remember him telling me when we took the pastor position that he was going to make sure no child felt like he did at the other church. He personally took it upon himself to make the children coming to our new church feel welcome and important. He did an amazing job too!! If you can imagine a ten year old child being his own little welcoming committee for the new kids!! We ended up having an awesome children's ministry at that church.... And I can also relate about the bad year.....sick, elderly parents, son in a car wreck, financial stress, etc. Out of all of that the only thing the pastor really knew anything about was our son's accident. And that was because his former girlfriend saw his friend's post on fb about it and notified the pastor. And I believe you are right about learning to empathize with others in similar situations. Thanks again!!

Thank you so much for the prayers and comments. I do not mean to belittle this pastor or this church. I will say they have excellent worship and ministry of the word and there are souls saved quite often. So the work of the ministry is being done. The pastor does seem to be a man of humility, but there also seems to be a thick wall around him and only a select few are given access. Not that we are wanting him or his wife to shower us with attention. We do not. We actually are not seeking that at all. However, to be on a first name basis (or an any name basis) with just a couple or two of the lay persons would go a long way. My husband and I are workers, always have been, but when we do not feel connected it is hard to want to volunteer. And when our son, who had attended the children's classes faithfully, both Sunday and Wednesday night, suddenly quit going after five months, no one from the children's department contacted us. No one stopped us in the foyer (when we walked right by them, our son in tow) to ask him where he'd been or to say they'd missed him. It just has a really weird feel.......like they are distantly polite but really do not want us there? Anyway, God has not released us and we are going anyway, to worship Him, to connect with Him, and to continue to pray for them. I did have a dream about this church last fall, about the musicians stacking their instruments against the stage and leaving while the pastor was preaching through an opaque curtain. Thanks again for the prayers!!

Almost a year ago my husband and I stepped down from 20-plus years of ministry. We knew it was to be a season of rest for us. But the church we started attending almost a year ago is a hard place for us to attend. It is a thirty minute drive from our home, it is larger than we are used to and the people are either cliquey, unfriendly or just uncaring. After a year of attending this church, the pastor still does not know my name, his wife has never said anything to me, no hi, bye or anything in between. The only people who speak to us are the greeters when we walk in the door (unless they are conversing with each other, which does happen a lot!). We just attended a weekend of special services and had no interaction with anyone other than each other the whole time we were there. We have tried to find a different church. But the Holy Spirit will not release us from this place. We both keep getting a quiet "stay put in this place" every time we pray about it. Our oldest son has already bailed, stating the unfriendly factor and is now faithfully attending a Baptist church in our community. Our younger son refuses to go to the children's church and sits with us through services, saying that the children's church is difficult and the kids are unfriendly. I have to say, it isn't just us "getting our feelings hurt". We were in ministry for over twenty years, worked in all kinds of churches....big, small, city, country, etc. This is the coldest church we have ever attended. It feels like attending church in a shopping mall---very impersonal. The pastor continually is having to beg for workers, and there have been things said when they are promoting special services; "don't accuse this church of being unfriendly if you aren't coming out to the special services, that is how you connect".......well, we've been to them, we have tried to be open and friendly ourselves, but it is as if we are invisible. So now we go, we worship, we receive from the preaching of the word (both of which are excellent) and then we go home. We try not to make eye-contact, because no one else is. There are groups that are standing around talking and laughing, but there are just as many who are walking out the door with their heads down. Please just pray that whatever the reason God will not release us from this place, that He will reveal it to us. And if we are there to pray and intercede for these people, that God will show us what we need to know! Thank you and God Bless!!

Thank you!! :')

If there are any intercessors out there who are specifically called to pray for those coming under the bondage of homosexuality, I have an urgent prayer request for my niece. She has always been such a sweet girl, was raised in church by her parents, was very involved in scripture memorization competitions as a child and pre-teen (she literally went all over the United States competing), but I have discovered, by accident (or the Holy Spirit) that she is dabbling in lesbianism. Her family has had a rough few years; her parents have had some bad church experiences that have led them to make some poor choices about attending church and the churches they have chosen to attend. They have lowered their standards and brought things into their home that has given their children mixed signals of right and wrong. Her oldest brother died unexpectedly last year and a younger one was molested by someone they trusted. Her parents are going through a hard time and I do not know if they realize the extent of what they refer to as her "rebelling". She has adopted a lesbian look and all her friends on social media are open about being lesbians (she has hidden her social media from family, but I discovered it by accident). PLEASE pray for her!! I believe the whole reason the Holy Spirit has revealed to me what is going on in her life is that she isn't so far gone in this that she can't turn around. Thank you!!

It sounds like she could be anemic. I would try to get her to an emergency room. A friend of mine just went through this and what she thought was menopause was actually fibroid tumors. Will be praying for her and you!!

So sorry to hear this Daisy!! I know how special grandmas can be and will keep you in prayer!!

Just an update....my mother has been back home with my dad for the last few weeks and is doing well. She is staying on her meds and seeing her therapist and when I talk to her I can hear the real her talking back. Our family still needs a lot of healing. Although she treats Dad well (a huge improvement!!), she still does not respond with love toward him. And there is a distance between her and us (my siblings and I) due to the nature of getting her treated. Please just pray that God would heal the relationships that have been damaged by her mental illness. Thank you so much!!

Praying!!

I understand what you are saying. I too have heard such things from certain ministries and I can't help feeling like these people are merchandising the gospel. I try not to judge these ministries, but I no longer listen to them. Maybe that is "throwing the baby our with the bathwater"??

Daisy, About your daughter, is she old enough to work a computer? If so, there are some really good math skill games out there on cdrom that you could get for her that will not only teach her math skills but make them fun and entertaining. Some kids just learn differently and if learning is fun for them, it is also easier. Prayers!!

Please pray for my uncle. He is even now undergoing heart valve surgery. He is unsaved, has endured a lot of loss in his lifetime and it bitter toward God. He has had heart issues for more than twenty years and no one has understood how he is even still alive. I believe it is the prayers of my deceased grandparents, still before God, for his salvation. PLEASE pray for his salvation, and his health. I believe God wants to show himself loving to this man. Thank you!!

Praying!!!

Thank you Daisy!! I called my mother yesterday and she seems to be doing better since she started on the meds. She is possibly planning on moving back home with my dad this weekend. They saw each other for about 30 minutes last Thursday and he said she seemed much like her old self. She was even smiling and he said it made him realize that he hadn't seen her smile in years. Please continue to keep them in prayer. She is starting to realize that she does have a mental condition and that she is going to have to work at getting better. But we don't want her saying all the right stuff just to get back home, either. Her particular disorder is quite deceptive. Thank you so much again!!

Update.....we met with my mother's therapist and my mother. I wish I could say things went well but they did not. Although the therapist told us our mother's diagnosis and that it is severe, she appeared to be enabling my mother more than anything. Our mother was worse than we have ever seen her, quite belligerant that there was nothing wrong with her. Now our father isn't just the villian, we are as well. She is going to live with one of my brothers for a couple of weeks until what? We aren't even sure where we go from here. Our elderly father will need much care and help, which is a labor of love, and our mother needs us although her terms are pretty plain....choose your dad or me, no middle ground. That is not even an option. Please pray that God will give us wisdom and grace in dealing with this issue. Thank you.

UPDATE!! We are meeting with my mother's therapist in the morning. We will be getting her actual diagnosis and treatment options. We will be having face time with my mother for the first time since we committed her. We need prayers to be able to handle it all with grace. We need prayers for traveling mercies as we will all be on the road from 2 to 4 hours (one way) to the treatment facility. My Dad is going with us and my mother is not happy about seeing him. He needs the comfort of the Holy Spirit to envelope him. BUT thank you for recent prayers!! The therapist is aware of my mother's phone calls to friends and she knows what my mother has been saying.

Just an update; my mother's therapist called yesterday and said my mother was starting to respond to treatment BUT my aunt called this morning. Apparently my mother called her last night and my aunt warned me that my Mom sounded really erratic and almost worse than before. PLEASE pray that her doctors will pick up on if she is faking it to get out!!! ALSO, my DAD has been physically sick from the stress of it all. He is so hopeful that this will cure my mother and thay she will come home well. I am so afraid for him that he is going to be greatly hurt and disappointed. PLEASE pray for his health and well-being and also that God give us direction in whatever decisions we have to make. THANK YOU!!!